That is awful nightowl. You poor thing No child should be treated like that
I didn't have an awful childhood because of my parents, but things did happen that caused a lot of grief, hurt and anger. I never really spoke about it with anyone and I just let it all build up, until one day I had a traumatic birth with DS1 and it just tipped me over the edge. I ended up needing anti depressants and therapy. I couldn't function. And like Lauzy I really wished that I had gotten onto it sooner. I feel like maybe I wouldn't have crashed as bad as I did if I had of been working out my issues.
I also felt a massive weight lifted off my shoulders. If you find the right therapist, you have someone there, who will listen and really acknowledge you and your story, to support you with no judgement. And give you tools to work through your emotions. I can't recommend it highly enough.