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  1. #1
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    Default Attn parents with aspergers children and those without

    So I would like an honest opinion as to whether this is just an excuse for being rude or a genuine thing.

    Dd1 had been catching the bus to school for about 2 years now. A girl and her sister dd1 goes to school with have only very recently moved near us and now catch the same bus. The mother of this girl just told me she "has had words with my dd1 about where she sits on the bus and asked hey to find a new seat from now on" because her dd1 has aspergers and it makes her dd1 cry to not be allowed to sit in the seat my dd1 has sat in for almost 2 years. My dd1 gets on the seat before her. my dd1 is 8, hers is 10.

    Is this a valid excuse or an excuse for rudeness?

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  2. #2
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    Regardless if the child has Aspergers or not I think the mum should have approached you instead of 'having words' with your DD.

    That I think is rude.

    If she had of approached you first and explained the situation at least then you could have spoken to your daughter about it.

    The way she did it would have had my back up not the reason for it.

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    I think she should have spoken to you first if there was going to be an issue. And she certainly shouldn't be 'having words' with your DD. As I have Aspergers myself I can understand the need for specific things but I would never have approached it that way!

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  6. #4
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    Wow. No, that's rude.

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    Wow that's rude. My son has a special seat on the bus but this is something the bus driver decided to do and I would never ever have asked another child to move to accommodate this! If my son gets on and someone is in his seat I tell him to sit somewhere else.

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  10. #6
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    I have a child with asperger's, I get that her child feels a need to sit on a certain seat to feel safe and ok.

    You need to be very firm in letting this mum know what she (the mum) did is not acceptable behavior in any way or form. I would be explain that she needs to speak to you and not your dd as she has every right to feel safe to and sit where ever she pleases. What she did was very rude.

    I would if it is not a huge deal for your child to change seats talk to your dd and explain that while the mum did the wrong thing, that it would better for the girl and in the long your dd too, if the other child she could sit there. The girl having a aspie meltdown on the bus would affect everyone.

    to you both.

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    At first I didn't understand the mum's issue but then realised I read it wrong. I think it's a valid reason but the way she approached it is so rude. She should have come to you, not your DD.

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    I'm glad its not me over reacting. I told her that my dd1 has been sitting in that seat for almost 2 years. It would explain why she has asked me to drive her to school this nothing.

    I get the aspergers thing and not being able to have control of emotions and feelings. But, I also get that there are going to be things that can't be controlled in life. My dd1 has confidence issues herself and she used to love catching the bus. Now she drags her feet every morning.

    I'm going to have a word with dd1 this afternoon. Find out what happened and how she feels about it. depending on the outcome I might have a word with the bus driver and dd1 teacher as this mother does parent help in her class (her dd2 is in my dd1 class) to make sure she isn't "having words" at school.

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    And then after all this she asks for her dd2 to have a play date but understands if we can't do it this week cos my "dd1 is one of those rich cool kids who does after school activities like swimming lessons and stuff".

    Wtf

    Sorry, but we are busy this week, this weekend, next week, school holidays etc....

    And yes we do participate in after school activities but we are far from rich. 80 % of the kids at our school do as well.

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    Wow what a piece of work I would be permanently busy too.

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