Back on topic- no I wouldn't 'judge' per se, but I do think its a bit sad that kid's parties aren't just the plain old sausage sizzle and fairy bread backyard type of thing anymore. My kids have mostly had this type, sometimes with a theme chucked in like DD had a 'high tea' and DD2 had a disco party. I dunno I just kind of think we (as a society) overindulge our kids sometimes, as much as we make a really big deal of our kids birthday because its a special day, I just don't think it needs to be so 'designer' as most of the time this is not to make the kid happy, but to impress others. Obviously I'm not talking about getting a fairy doing face painting etc as that is something the kids love.
As for the cakes, I make all my kid's cakes, they go through the WW Birthday Cake book over and over again for weeks choosing a cake, its kind of a family tradition. I love decorating the cakes, and they are so proud of me when it comes out, it makes them really happy.
One thing I also don't like is people going overboard with presents. My kids get so much expensive rubbish from people they are barely friends with, and while I appreciate it, its such a waste. I just wish there wasn't this expectation that you have to spend lots or you look stingy, coz my kids would be happy with a pretty hair tie really.