OMG! So excited for you all Well done Marigold!! And well done to your DD! Isn't she clever figuring it out quickly!! Isn't self settling the best thing ever! Ah so pleased for you. I bet you are finding she is much happier now and less clingy? Time for you and DH to celebrate getting your lives back and having a happy baby woohoo
So happy for you. This is why I'm pro CC. You're teaching her a wonderful thing : )
Hahaha dummies must look like candy to babies. I'd be excited if DH left a few packets of Maltesers in bed haha
How'dnight 2 go?
I was motivated by what you did so thought I'd try with my 5 month old today. I've fed/rocked him to sleep everytime since birth. I put him in his cot awake twice today. Closed the door and waited...and waited then checked on him and he'd gone straight to sleep! 2.5 hours this morn and 1 hour so far!
I know it may still just be luck but its a start!
To celebrate - I'm cleaning out the fridge in his next sleep! Oh the rockstar life we lead
Night 2 was great, as were her day naps. She's now sleeping for over 2 hours for naps and it's amazing how much I can now get done around here!
Good luck Karen2010, I know it's still early days for me as well but doing this has changed my life!
Marigold - good work and especailly that she clicked on straight away.
Hi everyone, here's an update...
I'm still doing the controlled crying- the routine now generally goes as follows:
Around 7pm I start with a relaxing bath for DD using some lavender scented bubble bath. After her bath I take her into our bedroom, keeping the light to a minimum, give her a massage using some really nice baby massage oil and get her dressed- while doing this, I sing softly to her (no playing) and have lots of kisses and cuddles. She then has her bottle and by the end of it she's so sleepy. I then place her in her cot and tuck her in, stay by her side for a minute or so if she needs settling and leave the room. Sometimes she cries after that, but I'll wait 5 minutes or so before going back in to her. But 9 times out of 10 she just whinges for less than 30 seconds and is then fast asleep!
If she stirs, within the next few hours, which she often does, I will listen to her cry to determine whether it's a actual distress cry (which it never is) or just a "mum pick me up" kind of sook. But it's bedtime, which is precisely what I am trying to teach her, so if I need to go to her it's just to calm her, show her I'm still close by and replace her dummy if needed. No bottle unless it's good 5 hours since her last one because I know it's isn't required (she's nearly 11 months and I'll night wean her soon anyway). It generally only takes a few minutes to resettle her after she has woken- she seems to just want to "see" me and will then go back to sleep.
The amazing thing for me has been the fact that after mastering self settling at night, it has carried on through to her day naps! She usually gets tired every 3-4 hours and that's when I put her down. She does really well, I put her in her cot and leave the room with her still awake and she doesn't protest or cry and has been falling asleep within minutes- her naps have increased from 15 minutes -1 hour to a minimum of 1.5 hours- 2.5 hours!
I was once "against" the whole controlled crying thing and I think that was because I was just uneducated. I would hear the term "controlled crying" and just associated that with leaving my poor littl baby to just cry and cry, all alone, scream herslf to sleep. But in reality it is NOTHING like that, at all! It's all about teaching your child that bedtime is for sleeping and they are capable of sleeping by themselves and that even though mummy or daddy leave the room, we are not gone forever. It's not about leaving your baby alone, terrified, distressed and screaming, it never gets to that stage because the key is to keep going back to soothe andhelp them resettle.
Life is so different now. Just a week ago this was our "routine"..
bedtime- DD stayed up with me and DH until we were ready to go to bed, which was often until around 11pm. She would have little naps but not sleep thorugh until she was in bed with us. For eg- if she had a bottle at 8pm, I would then rock her to sleep in my aroms or pram and carry her off to her cot, where if I was lucky to get her in it without waking her, she would sleep for maybe an hour or 2.. and then start crying again at 10pm. So If I was still up at that time I'd just go and get her and bring her back out to the loungeroom and she would sit with us! The thing is, she didn't know how to self settle- even as adults we all wake several times a night but we just roll over and go back to sleep- and that's what self settling has taught DD. She's still learning and still needs my help.
Yes, the first night was intense. It felt unnatural to fight the urge to pick her up and cuddle her back to sleep when she cried. But for all the stress and doubt I felt, she never had a single moment of real distress, I was always there for her within minutes, just settling her in a different way, ie; rocking/patting her whilst leaving her in her cot.
Controlled crying is not about neglecting your baby's needs or ignoring them. It's the best I've ever done! I wouldn't do it for a baby under 6 months and also think that co-sleeping is a beautiful thing, (we did it for the most part of 10 months) but as they grow, I believe that teaching the art of sleeping and self settling is very important.
Great news Marigold! I'm glad to see that teaching your DD to self settle has worked so well. You have hit the nail on the head so so well in regards to CC. It's not the horrendous child abuse that some people make it out to be!
I am super impressed with your routine as well they truly need that predictability as they get bigger.
A massive well done from me
I love how you understand your baby and have listened to her and accommodated the self settling to her needs. I like how you explain that she just needs to see you and is soothed by that. It helps me understand how babies can be different. Because of my DDs personality I haven't been able to stand there next to her to settle her as it stimulates her having me in the room. She thinks it is party time. She also no longer likes to be held and cuddled in her room before bed and just wants to get in her cot and be left alone! Aren't they funny. I have tried also giving her massages from birth and even now at 13 months still screams and tries to jump off the bed or change table. Little tornado!
No it isn't all the rubbish that you hear about self settling. You can make it work to fit your bub and their personality.
Well done to you both!! Cheers to having a happy baby and some time to yourself 😊
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