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  1. #21
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    You sound like me! I have been saying that I refuse to put myself in any parenting category or label. I think it is a way for people to make money from mothers. I gather most of us listen to our babies and they tell us what they want. I have tried many different things ans she always lets me lnow if she agrees to it or not! If I had a baby like my friend's that self settled from birth or was happy to have a little pat back to sleep waking only once during the night, then yeah, I wouldn't have to do any sleep training! You have listened to your baby and she has told you she needs help and you are responding.
    Mia freedman has written a book 'the gift of sleep' with a baby whisperer. It seems pretty good. I read the intro and decided to get a BW over my house instead of trying to do it alone with the book.

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  3. #22
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    I know people are really against controlled crying and think that it's cruel and selfish but I am allllll for it. I think some of us are okay to feed to sleep, co-sleep or even rock our babies to sleep. I'm okay with it for the first 4 months of their life and then I'm onto controlled crying. I think I would have lost my sanity if I didn't use controlled crying.
    DS is an amazing sleeper and he's a happy kid. I think it's because I helped him learn how to fall asleep on his own.

    How did I start? I made sure I had the same routine every night. I made sure the TV was off, the lights were dimmed, the lavender oil was burning an hour before his bed time. I'd give him a nice, warm bath, give him a message, spray some lavender spray in his cot, feed him and put him down awake. When I left the room I made sure that he was happy.
    When he started to cry, I'd leave it for 30 seconds, settle him completely, leave it for 1 min if he cried again, followed by 2 mins etc. The max I left him was 10 minutest.
    The things with controlled crying is you learn their different cries. You learn their hungry cries, their pain cry etc.
    If you know she's full, warm & comfortable, she'll be okay. She may need comfort, yes but mama also needs sleep.
    It took us 3 weeks to get him to self settle and he has been an amazing sleeper since. I highly recommend Tizzie Halls SOS. I didn't follow everything she suggested but I took the bits and pieces I liked.
    Good luck! Persistence pays off.

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  5. #23
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    And you don't have to explain why you're doing it or why you feel like trying it. At the end of the day, that's your business and nobody else's. We aren't all in the same situation. Some of can deal with sleep deprivation better than others. Some kids deal better with less sleep and some are better to handle with more sleep.
    At the end of the day, nobodies situation is the same and we do what we need to do. It doesn't mean we love our child less or that we're terrible mums.

    I support women who breastfeed, I support women who formula feed.
    I support women who co sleep and I support women who use controlled crying.
    I support SAHM mums and I support women who have to work full time.
    I support women who choose to have natural births and women who elect c sections.
    There needs to be a sisterhood. There's no such thing as the perfect parent. We're all fantastic parents that do things our own way : )

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    btmacxxx  (12-06-2013),Chippa  (12-06-2013),Purple Lily  (13-06-2013),RipperRita  (12-06-2013),~Marigold~  (12-06-2013)

  7. #24
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Quote Originally Posted by SugarSkull View Post
    And you don't have to explain why you're doing it or why you feel like trying it. At the end of the day, that's your business and nobody else's. We aren't all in the same situation. Some of can deal with sleep deprivation better than others. Some kids deal better with less sleep and some are better to handle with more sleep.
    At the end of the day, nobodies situation is the same and we do what we need to do. It doesn't mean we love our child less or that we're terrible mums.

    I support women who breastfeed, I support women who formula feed.
    I support women who co sleep and I support women who use controlled crying.
    I support SAHM mums and I support women who have to work full time.
    I support women who choose to have natural births and women who elect c sections.
    There needs to be a sisterhood. There's no such thing as the perfect parent. We're all fantastic parents that do things our own way : )
    Sugarskull- I couldn't have said it better myself. What a beautiful soul you are. Thank you

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    SugarSkull  (12-06-2013)

  9. #25
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    Hey,

    Unfortantly there will be Mums who will judge and try to put you in a label.... just ignore them, you need to do what works for you, your baby and your family!!!

    I used Tizzie Hall - SOS book with my oldest DS, mainly for the structure and routine. It made me feel like I was in control, I used a mixture of Controlled crying and control comforting - I sat with him in the nursery in a chair and every day the chair got closer and closer to the door. I found once he was in a good routine and he learnt to self settle, within a week he was a different baby - he is nearly 7 and still sleeps 7-7!!!

    But my second DS.... CC does NOT work with him, he gets very worked up so I have tried everything!. I have now started a strict routine as he gets up between 4.30-5.30 in morning!!! so I have been trying to make him have his nap at 12. I think its a process of elimanation.

    So goodluck every child is different and it can take a bit to finally work out what works for your little one - mine is 18months and im still looking

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  11. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by SugarSkull View Post
    And you don't have to explain why you're doing it or why you feel like trying it. At the end of the day, that's your business and nobody else's. We aren't all in the same situation. Some of can deal with sleep deprivation better than others. Some kids deal better with less sleep and some are better to handle with more sleep.
    At the end of the day, nobodies situation is the same and we do what we need to do. It doesn't mean we love our child less or that we're terrible mums.

    I support women who breastfeed, I support women who formula feed.
    I support women who co sleep and I support women who use controlled crying.
    I support SAHM mums and I support women who have to work full time.
    I support women who choose to have natural births and women who elect c sections.
    There needs to be a sisterhood. There's no such thing as the perfect parent. We're all fantastic parents that do things our own way : )
    Fabulous fabulous post Sugarskull we all need to give ourselves a break!

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    SugarSkull  (12-06-2013),~Marigold~  (12-06-2013)

  13. #27
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    Second baby- how did you teach your second? I've been trying this week but calm quiet settling is guaranteed to be interrupted by a screaming 3 year old!
    I'm thinking I'll ask friends for favours and have her out on play dates each day for a week so I can be at home with just me and DS?

  14. #28
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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    We are starting the process again tonight. DH is going to sleep in the lounge (he has to be up for 5am) and I'm going to try the routine again as follows:

    7pm- bath then into the darkened room for massage with lavendar oil and feed her a bottle and quiet/soothing time. I'll put her in her cot once she's almost alseep and go from there. It's going to be a long night, I think..

  15. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Marigold~ View Post
    We are starting the process again tonight. DH is going to sleep in the lounge (he has to be up for 5am) and I'm going to try the routine again as follows:

    7pm- bath then into the darkened room for massage with lavendar oil and feed her a bottle and quiet/soothing time. I'll put her in her cot once she's almost alseep and go from there. It's going to be a long night, I think..
    Best of luck. It'll be a long few weeks but you need to be persistent. We had to start all over again with DS a month ago and he's back to being an amazing sleeper. He isn't as moody either.

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  17. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Karen2010 View Post
    Second baby- how did you teach your second? I've been trying this week but calm quiet settling is guaranteed to be interrupted by a screaming 3 year old!
    I'm thinking I'll ask friends for favours and have her out on play dates each day for a week so I can be at home with just me and DS?
    My DS1 was 5.5 when DS2 was born so he sort of understood he needed to be quiet - I used to make sure he was occupied - dvd, food etc . I always put DS2 down in his nursery which is quiet. Not sure how a 3yr old will understand - so mayby getting a friend to help a bit while you "break" the cycle of your baby is a good idea. I am due with # 3 in Nov so will have 2 under 2..... I am NOT looking forward to trying to putting #3 down while Ds2 is running a muck


 

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