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  1. #1
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    Default Confused

    I have been talking to mil this morning who informed me she got a note on her door early this morning that said that my mum has had some serious health issues arise and would like to get in contact with me.
    I haven't seen or spoken to any of my family in 2 years they have none of my contact details, no numbers, no address ( we moved like 12 hours away) and the only way to get in contact is through mil as she has been at the same address for over 10 years.

    I'm feeling very confused, I mean the things my mum and family did for me to cut all ties was terrible and I promised myself never ever again. About a year ago they also left a note saying my pop had had a stroke and was at a certain hospital should I wish to contact him. Well I did and they had no recognition of him being admitted at all. Then I tried ringing my nana home number (she's had the Same number for as long as I can remember ) and my nan answered and I asked her if pop was ok that I had tried ringing the hospital an they said he wasn't there and she just laughed and hung up.

    Do I take this seriously?
    I'm so confused on one hand despite everything if it is real I'm sad, upset yet apart of me doesn't believe it's real, doesn't want to waste Time and energy finding out if it is.
    I don't want to be sucked into the silly games if this infact is one.

    I've been sucked into these games before, I've been manipulated and hurt by her before. Is it wrong that I don't believe it and that even if it true no matter how upsetting that I still don't want any contact with her?



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  2. #2
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    I wouldn't follow it up - based on past incidences. If it really was serious they would/will try harder to contact you.

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    MonsterMoosMum  (11-06-2013)

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    They sound truly awful, to play pranks about peoples health like that!

    Honestly, if you feel that your life would be worse of for not getting in contact and your mother being ill, then get in touch.

    But they must have done some extreme things for you to cut contact in the first place, and then to make up a story about your grandpa being sick and then to laugh at you about it??

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    MonsterMoosMum  (11-06-2013)

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    maybe someone else could contact them on your behalf? Thats if you really want to know. I guess you have to ask yourself if your mum is terminally ill, do you want to know about it? would you want to reconcile (if thats at all possible)? If she passed without having seen her one last time what would that mean for you?

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    My issues with my mum started after DS was about a year old. Always wanting to see him never wanting to put any effort in. And to quiet frank I had enough of it and put my foot down and told her she needed to make some effort before I put in any more. Then as soon as I had DD it went far and beyond anything I've ever witnessed nor do I want to ever again, childish , manipulative, disgusting things she did and accused DH of.

    My life as been so drama free considering, I don't question my parenting, I'm not driving 3 hours daily making all efforts. Whilst I know she will always be my mum that I can't change I have this gut feeling that not contacting her is Wong and that despite everything I should be the bigger person YET on the other Hand I don't want to make an effort, I don't want to see or talk to her and to be quite honest as bad as it sounds I would love nothing more then to never hear or talk to her or about her ever ever again.

    I feel confused and conflicted and if anything all is done is make me angry, a little upset more more then anything angry



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    Quote Originally Posted by SummerFun View Post
    I wouldn't follow it up - based on past incidences. If it really was serious they would/will try harder to contact you.
    Agree with this

    It could be genuine, but the previous bad experience would be enough for me to have doubts.

    Your nan laughing at you on the phone then hanging up when you enquired about your grandfather is...awful

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    MonsterMoosMum  (11-06-2013)

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    This is hard as they obvisouly have called wolf before!. As previous person said mayby try and get someone to check. Check at the hospital etc. But I wouldnt contact them yourself.

    If its another prank, this just cements you are doing the right thing by not having them in your life. If she is in hospital - I think you will need to work out if 1 - you want to see her
    2 -her reaction
    3 - how this would make you feel?
    4 - and if she does pass away would u have wanted to see her one last time?

    Hope this helps and

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    I guess you need to ask yourself some pretty difficult questions.
    1. If it was indeed serious and you never made contact - would the guilt you might feel be bearable?
    2. Again, if it was serious would just knowing ease the guilt you might feel or will you feel obliged to do more? If so is that something you would be prepared to do? Or would it make you more resentful?

    I am so sorry you have to go through something like this.

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    MonsterMoosMum  (11-06-2013)

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    That's what I'm struggling with, the fact that I know my mum was having alot of health issues before we cut ties. Mainly to do with her liver and her heart so it most certainly could be true.

    I honestly don't know if I would regret having no contact and her passing. I don't know that even if it be true that I could contact her without going off. I never gave her a piece of mind with everything that happened an I feel that if her health issues are serious enough that she could pass away it would be totally inappropriate that that be the last thing she hears from me. If that makes any sense





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    I have no contact with my mum or any of her side of the family either. To be perfectly honest I would just ignore it, especially since they've done the whole health scare before. That's sick.

    I get your up in the air about this OP, I guess it comes down to how would you feel if it was real and you didn't contact. I personally would be ok with it. My mum has had done pretty serious health scares over the years but it wouldn't change my mind.

    Hugs, it's cr@p that you're in this position.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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