Luckily we're a couple of years off this. Neither df or I have Facebook so hopefully we're leading by example, hopefully!
As for your son OP I'd just try and keep the lines of communication open. Use this as an opportunity to talk about how inappropriate language can affect others and how it may affect him when he's older, the whole 'once it's on the internet it stays there'.
Most of all good luck. I've said it before, Facebook can be great, but it can also bring out the worst.
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Thanks everyone. I signed up for facebook for the sole purpose of monitoring him - I don't use it myself, and I actually don't like it for a number of reasons. I haven't shared anything about myself at all, no photos, details of any description - so I'm not "into" facebook at all. We had a number of discussions (husband and I) with our son before we allowed him to have it. Where we live, the majority (according to the teacher, as I asked) in grade 7 primary school, have facebook - my son and a couple of others still didn't have it at that stage. In grade 8 he felt a bit of an odd one out, so we decided to go ahead and let him have it, under the condition that he use it appropriately.
I actually still wish he didn't have it, as I hate seeing and reading the things these other kids post. I do know the mother of one of the kids quite well but don't think she'd take it well if I was to question some of what he posts, on his own facebook page - they'd probably think I was a bit odd for looking, perhaps? I am actually glad I'm aware of what they're saying. God only knows what the private messages look like. Don't think I want to see them!!
i dont have a 13 year old. id say your son's friends are pretty much juvanile, uneducated, naive kids playing around and being stupid.
Id be happy it's not your son doing those things and maybe ask him if he thinks some of the things posted on FB by his mates are innapropriate and why?.....The best thing you can do is make sure your son knows better. What the other kids are doing on FB is not your problem, their parents need to check up on them i'd say!
Id be happy to keep my 13yr old off social networks, just personally.
Little Miss Muffet,
Yes, I am so happy that it's not him posting those things. I think I will have a chat to him this afternoon about what I've seen - I already know what he'll say - that it's just stupid, and they're just joking, but I'll reinforce the fact that what they are saying is allowing other people a view of the type of person they are - and he needs to remember that with what he does and says himself.
Things are definitely not as simple as they were a generation or two ago. Technology is both a blessing and a curse.
Sorry but I think it's normal and they generally don't mean anything by it, just trying to be cool/going with the Internet fads. Especially if they read sites like 4chan and reddit. As long as your son knows its not cool and doesn't take it seriously/do it himself then I don't think you need to worry.
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I know someone who allows her kids access Facebook, youngest is 10.
And some of the things they share and write and like is quite shocking!
DH and I talked about social networking too, although my eldest is only 2 at the moment. I am going to try to delay it as much as I can.
Do you know the kids Whos been posting that kid of status on facebook?You can't control what other kids do, say or write on Facebook. Even if you shut it down now, he still hangs around the same group of people . Some kids though like a PP said tend to show off more online, pretend to be cool etc. trying to get more attention.
If its my boy though, I would be very concerned about the type of people he's considering as friends and put some plan in place.
My kids are only young, so FB is 10 years+ away. It’s something I am concerned about. I don’t want to be a controlling, over protective parent, but as a high school teacher, FB is something that come across on a regularly basis and unfortunately it’s something I regard as an unhealthy and insidious social networking tool. The whole principal behind FB is fantastic, catch up with friends, share photos, music etc etc But we are constantly getting reports of inappropriate messages, bullying, sharing of explicit material. In the future, I am sure FB will be much more restricted, heavily policed/censored and there will be legislation in place that protects FB users. i.e at the moment it is very easy to get away with defamation or threatening someone, I don’t think this will be the case in 5 years time.
Hi, my oldest is 7 so a bit off for me, but I was under impression to be on fb you have to be over 16years of age? That is what I am hoping to use on my kids
At first I was thinking with your post - close it down dont let him use it. But as he is already on this, this has given you an insight to what people he is socialising with and I think this is beneficial - like having inside info
Yeah they are young and probably dont really comprehend about rape, race, swearing and obvisouly dont have parents to monitor there usuage (as they probably think there child would never speak like that) but I would not condone this behaviour - defiantly use this as a discussion with your son. We cant change the way others speak or act (even in adulthood) but helping your son deal with this is your best bet I think. Or you can block certain peoples post on your son's feed so he hasnt defriended them, he just doesnt see this vulgar stuff on his feed.
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