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  1. #1
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    Default 13 yr olds and face book friends

    Hi everyone. I was hoping someone might have some advice for me. We decided to let our 13yo get facebook with the condition that he remain respectful and not post anything offensive or hurtful to anyone. He's had facebook for a few months now, and so far so good. I don't know what his private messages to friends are like, but his public profile is fine and no problems there.

    What is concerning to me is that a number of his friends do post what I would consider really awful stuff - and here are my examples, and I just want to know if everyone else would consider this awful or am I just out of touch...?

    Many of them regularly post the f and c word when talking about others and "gay" and "ana! sex" is posted (meaning to be derogatory or funny), which I don't find funny, just offensive. I saw one today follows australian school fights which I was pretty shocked about. And they reveal so much about themselves like this! I am amazed that their parents allow this kind of language and discussion... The majority are 13, some 14, 15 year olds. I also saw the word "niggah" refering to a black friend. Is this normal, or am I just overeacting? And young girls with model like poses with graphic FUc@ behind their pictures?

    I do make a habit of checking my son's facebook regularly, and just decided to check out some of his friends pages too and was a bit disturbed, to be honest. One of the friends has a picture of a marijuana plant behind his face...weird?? He's a really polite kid when he speaks to me.

    Don't know if this is relevant or not, but son goes to all boy catholic school... Grade 8. Do they realise how they look, or not care?

    Please give me some opinions! Thanks!

  2. #2
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    Oh and I also saw someone casually refer to rape. OMG I think it's horrifying.

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    Personally I would not have a Facebook account for a 13 year old ... Too easy to get into a world of trouble !!

    good luck !

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    Maybelline, do you have a 13 year old? I actually used to think the same thing...

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    You can't control what other kids are doing but you can to an extent monitor, communicate and educate your child around what is being posted. I think it's good to have discussions with your child about what other kids post and what he thinks about it - it's one of those things that we can't ban kids from using, just have open and honest discussion. I would also speak to the school around what their social media policy is and how they work with the students to enforce it. Often stuff of facebook spills into schools which means they need to have policies to deal with issues that occur.

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    Honestly I think they're just trying to look 'cool' I don't think they really realize how much info strangers can get from their fb accounts either

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    I'm not saying it's ok, I just think they're young and don't know better really

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    Would it bother you if other teenagers were talking this way in front of your son at school? Because chances are, they speak the same way online as they do IRL and there's absolutely nothing you can do about it. And when you're not around to see what he's doing, there's a good chance he talks that way too. Teenagers are all about fitting in and being 'cool'.
    In my experience though they do grow out of it once they get a bit older and learn more about what is appropriate and become a bit more mature.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarabelle View Post
    Maybelline, do you have a 13 year old? I actually used to think the same thing...
    No I don't ..but I have a nephew who is 14 and he is still not on facebook ..To me it is to easy for them to get in all sorts of trouble at that age...but I will have to wait another 9 yrs for that..

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    As disturbing as it might be, I wouldn't be stopping him from using it. Unfortunately, kids are going to say/do stupid things, and we can't stop our kid from being exposed. I'd take it as an opportunity for discussion, and see it as a positive that he has concerns over their behaviour himself.

    If you're concerned about how the other kids are representing themselves, it may be worth discussing with the school. Some schools will come down quite harshly on students who have things like that on a public profile, as it can affect the school's image.


 

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