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  1. #1
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    Default Am I overreacting?

    Ds went to a friend's house today. He's been there a fair bit and there have never been any issues. When I dropped him off I specifically asked what time they wanted me to pick him up knowing that they go to church on a sunday. I was told that he could stay until whatever time because his friend would be staying home with his aunty.

    Around 2.30 we get a txt saying that Ds's friend was feeling sick and could we come and get him. No worries, but when ds got in the car and we asked him what was wrong with his friend he said he was fine. He then proceeded to tell us that instead of the rest of the family going to church they all stayed home and listened to it on the phone. The excuse given was to ds was because he was there and we didn't come and get him in time. Ds felt really guilty about it and thought he was in trouble. I'm just really peeved that she's placed blame on me and my son for something that is not the fault of either of us.

    I honestly feel like not allowing ds to go there anymore. She's turned funny on dh and me before and stopped talking to us for unknown reasons but always contacts us when she needs a break from her ds and sends him here for the night. I'm starting to feel like we're being used a little.

    Sent from my pho....oh who am I kidding. It's rarely used as a phone

  2. #2
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    Maybe she was just being polite but hoped you would still pick him up before Church seeing as you knew they were going? You know saying one thing but hoping you used your psychic abilities to truly know what she wanted. No excuse for the guilt trip though.
    Maybe the distance thing you are feeling is more about her and her family dealing with things their own way and less about you guys. I'd try not to take it personally but maybe read the signs a little more closely and show her you see her and what she is going through, then maybe she would talk to you about said issues she may feeling.

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    If they were that set on attending church every Sunday, they could have (a) told you what time to collect him (b) dropped him home on the way or (c) taken him with them. Putting that kind of blame on a child is not on, and making an excuse (again using a child) is plain wrong. It's a shame that your DS and his friend will probably have issues together because of it. There's nothing wrong with saying "Ok that date's over, I'm calling your mum to make arrangements to get home". So no, I think you're right to be miffed about it.

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    Maybe the aunty couldn't make it?

    Anyway whatever the reason is I would be upset to if I was you. I would probably distance myself from the family and keep it on your terms. I wouldn't allow my child there again.

    They sound like they made your DS feel unwelcome and that would be enough for me to not allow further sleep overs there. And then she lied about why they needed you to come and pick your DS up...that's just weird.

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    I hate when people do wierd stuff like this without just being open and telling u if there is a problem.

    It's sad ur ds had to feel guilty . That would hurt me the most.
    Maybe just invite ds friend to play at your house from now on so they can still play but I would stop him going there for a while. And if u start again definitely give a time to pick up so its set and they know.

  6. #6
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    It may have been a misunderstanding, or as pouts said, the aunt couldn't come? Either way I can't see why they couldn't have just called you right away and asked you to get him in the morning. I would probably call her and find out what happened. They may have been perfectly fine with your DS there, and he took something they said the wrong way. The boys may have had a fight and his friend told his mum he was sick or something.
    I dunno. Maybe the family is being weird and a bit rude, but maybe its all a misunderstanding. There's no harm calling to find out, is there?

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    Sounds like a communication issue?

    How would she deal if you called up and said "I'm calling to apologise, DS came home and said you guys missed church because I was late picking him up I must have misunderstood when you told me the boys were staying with aunty"

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    mushiedaina  (10-06-2013),tatia&shura  (10-06-2013)

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    They live with their aunty and she doesn't attend church. If I knew what time they were going to church I would have just picked him up anyway but despite asking what time they were heading out I wasn't told.

    Sent from my pho....oh who am I kidding. It's rarely used as a phone

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    I'll talk to her about it tomorrow. We only dropped ds off at 11.30 so he hadn't been there long

    Sent from my pho....oh who am I kidding. It's rarely used as a phone

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    When I drop my child off and ask what time would be suitable to collect him I expect an honest answer. Not mind games. If the plan changes I would expect a phone call on the mobile no I always provide . It's not rocket science. They sound wierd to me. I would just confront them and ask why they just didn't contact you. Being nasty to a kid is not on.

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