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  1. #1
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    Default Advice on aggression/violence at soccer

    Hi all

    my 5 year old has started playing soccer this year. He has really been enjoying it. However we have had a few issues with one of his teammates the past week. His team mate to me is a bit of a niggler. He takes other kids balls and kicks them away at training and has pushed a couple of kids over in matches. Last week when training before the game he took my sons ball. My son stood up for himself and chased him. The other boy grabbed my son and threw him around til he fell to the ground. He did it again later after calling him a baby and my son said he was the baby. We split the boys up when the game was on so it was all sorted.

    However the next training session he yelled in my sons face because my son stood in the goals (which is not encouraged). Then they were both going for the ball and fell over. He stood up while my son was still on the ground and kicked him in the head 3 times. I yelled and ran over and the coach thankfully pulled the other boy away. His parents didn't see it but another parent did. He was not allowed to play this week as punishment from his parents. My husband and I decided (after advise from friends also) that we needed to make an official complaint and report to the club. There is some debate over what is age appropriate discipline/punishment. The incident is still raw for me and at the time we wanted him removed from the team. He is actually 6 playing with 5's because most are his schoolmates. I feel the need obviously to protect my son. Personally I believe that any kid who reacts in this way has issues and needs counselling, 6 or older. I have heard he was involved in a big fight with another boy at his school. Thankfully my son is not at the same school.

    I'm interested to hear what others think would be an age appropriate way for this to be dealt with.

    Thanks

  2. #2
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    What happened to your son was not OK. But it sounds like the bully's parents, by banning him from playing for a week, are aware of the inappropriate behavior and do not approve of it. Chances are they will keep a closer eye on him now. I think making a formal report to the club is not needed. Instead I would call the club president and let them know you will be keeping a very close eye on the bully, you expect the club staff to pull the bully up at the first sniff of inappropriate behavior, and if they don't you will make a formal complaint to whatever the local soccer regulatory body is.

  3. #3
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    Oh good luck!

  4. #4
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    I'm with vp on this one (its shocking I know lol )

    Goodluck :-)

    Sent from my PP4MT-7 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  5. #5
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    I'd let the club know but not make an official complaint. My parents used to run our local club and they would ensure a member of the committee was present at games of teams where there is a problem. Perhaps then the club will see it and do whatever is appropriate. Just a thought. Good luck in getting it sorted.

  6. #6
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    Oh your poor boy...my first thought is that he has been punished so maybe wait and see if it happens again - but my son was not kicked in the head 3 times. I would be furious.

    Is there anyone you can talk to privately instead of going through a formal channel. Maybe you can just mention the boy is not playing in his correct age bracket and there has been a problem with violence against your boy?

    Hmmm TBH if it was me I would not want that boy in my sons team, I mean we are not talking just a shove and a yell here and there, kicking in the head can cause serious damage and I would be on edge whenever they played together.

    As pp said good luck with whatever you choose to do. Hope your little man is ok???

  7. #7
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    Totally speak to the Club President or relevant official.

    I have been involved with club football for several years, we take bullying and violence really seriously, issues like this will be watched carefully.

    Take notes of dates and times, should it get to a point where a report needs to be submitted.

    Good luck!

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    Thanks for the responses so far. My boy is ok. After the incident we were talking to the assistant coach who was coaching that night and my son wet his pants. As I was worried about concussion or shock I took him to the ED for a check up. His tests were a bit off as his eye response was a bit jerky and his heel toe coordination was poor. They observed him for a little while and then sent us home with a head injury sheet. It was really upsetting of course.

    Because of the fact we went to hospital I emailed the club the day after and detailed everything. My hubby and I discussed it in length and still feel sick over the whole thing. We also felt the club needed to know from an insurance perspective in the highly unlikely case that something more serious eventuated. Definitely for the bit of push and shove I was happy to just split them up. But I was on high alert after that, must have been mummy instinct I think. My husband thinks we should take him out but I think it's not showing him the right thing. It would be like he was being punished for someone wronging him. We both really struggle with minor decisions so the big ones are excruciating! Lol

  9. #9
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    Just to clarify, the other kid is 6 years old and playing with under 5's? If so, is your club aware of his age? It is actually against the rules to allow players to 'play down' a grade as it is considered to be giving the team an unfair advantage. The rules MAY vary from state to state but I have always been under the impression that this is the rule across the board.
    If you really wanted to get him removed from the team you could probably do it based on age.

    Otherwise, maybe wait and see if his behaviour changes after the punishment his parents have given him. But honestly, it sounds like a persistent issue and I don't really think that missing out on playing for one game is going to change long-term bullying behaviour.

  10. #10
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    Also, definitely DON'T take him out, that's not fair for your son, it should be the other kid who is made to leave (and if he does anything like this again I'd be really pushing the issue with your club).


 

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