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  1. #1
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    Default out of control..

    everything has spiraled out of control.
    I cant get my 5mths old to sleep. at all.
    My 2 yr old who was the world's best sleeper once we overcame her sleep issues, is now waking thru the night with DS who wakes 3-4 times. im lucky to get 1/2hr out of her for a day nap. She NEEDS her sleep. she still NEEDS 2 hours minimum during the day, i dont care what other's say, she is not 'dropping' that nap - something has disturbed her, my guess is it's DS who is up all day and all night. He is completely unsettled all day bacause he's so overtired. so all my time is spent settling him, getting him to sleep or holding him. The baby carrier actually stops me doing things, i cant hold DD while im using it and it gets in my way. It slows me down, i cant get down to DD's level. It's too heavy for me.
    DD has ben left to fend for herself too much and she is suffering. We dont do fun/educational things at home anymore because DS is so full on. She's turned into a bratty, demanding and sooky little girl - that's just not her at all. It's all my fault. She goes to playgroup and daycare for 1 day but that's all i can manage atm.
    I just sent her to her room because she just wouldnt stop crying and i cant understand what she wants - she has language delay. She hasnt slept today and i know she is tired.

    I feel unsupported, depressed, lonley and angry.
    I cant get anything right.

  2. #2
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    You poor bugger!! You might not know it but just being there and doing your best means that you are getting it very right! Big hugs to you, I know it can't help right now but after having a naughty little sausage that didn't sleep through the night a day before two, I can definitely empathise and know how hard you are trying xx

    Ps I'm wondering if anyone more knowledgable than I can suggest a better carrier suited to your needs, I understand sometimes it can take a while to find one that suits you, bubs and your lifestyle. Just a gentle suggestion anyway.
    Last edited by Mathermy; 07-06-2013 at 15:50.

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    Scatchy  (07-06-2013)

  4. #3
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    I haven't really got any advice just now but I couldn't pass by. You are doing your best by your kids so you are doing it right. Hang in there and I hope someone can give you some better advice.
    Last edited by Tildy; 07-06-2013 at 16:37.

  5. #4
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    Breath, deep breaths! This wont last forever, baby will eventually sleep and so will your DD. Your mood will inevitably impact on your kids try to let go of the frustration the anger and just relax. Does anything settle your little one? a rocker or maybe a car ride?
    Your DD just wants your attention, doesn't matter that you go or do this and that she just want to feel that mumma love, maybe some crafts to do at home?
    All I can say is it really does pass, I've rough sports with DD and I've learned that my mood is the key to either making it worse or making it better.
    Good luck!

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    Hi, sorry you are having a tough time. Could you try sleep school? I know the ones I looked into can help with routines & sleep for both children. I imagine if that is sorted you will have more time & energy for play time.

  7. #6
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    Lmm, I'm so sorry to read things are so hard right now (and your bubbas sleep patterns haven't improved).

    I don't know what kind of support u have available but can u put your baby into daycare for half a day or get a family member to look after them for u so you can spend some 1 on 1 time with your daughter or alternatively get some rest? My ds1 has always been a handful but a little more so since bubs came along six months ago, so I'm now trying to spend just a couple of hours every 2/3 weeks just with him (that's all I feel I can be away from bubs for), but I've seen a little improvement in his behaviour (I've only done if twice so far), so it may be something that helps. Although I know when your shattered and finally get a break from an unsettled baby you'd probably just love some time just for you.

    The suggestion above re an alternative baby carrier there is a website called nurture nest (on fb as well) and she may be able to help. I know what you mean about the carrier getting in the way, but it could be that there is a better suited one for you out there. the lady who runs this website gave me fantastic advice over email about the pros and cons about different carriers and may be able to find one that will help you rather than hinder.

    I really have no other suggestions other than to say, it's really hard being a parent and we're all human and get through each situation we are faced with the best way we can at the time. It's ok if your little girl is watching more tv than previously and not making it out to other activities you've done previously with her, she's still loved and that's what matters the most.

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    Little Miss Muffet  (07-06-2013)

  9. #7
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    Sorry you are having such a tough time.

    What sort of baby carrier are you using? My youngest was a terrible sleeper. I found a hug-a-bub was the best carrier for her, it held her snug against me and supported her head so I could bend and move without disturbing her. Once alseep in the hug-a-bub she would sleep for a good 2 hours during the day. This would give me some sanity time! In the hug-a-bub I could bend over and pick things up off the floor, sit next to the older girls and draw or read, I could bend over and unpack the dishwasher and it held bub so snugly she wasn't disturbed by the movements.

    Do you have a park nearby. When my middle daughter was a baby I found a good walk late morning, trip to the park or just a walk around the neighborhood worked well. Then we would come home DD1 would have lunch and then and then an afternoon sleep.


  10. #8
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    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    I'm down in the ditch with you love I've just told DP I'm on strike for the entire long weekend, it's that or I check myself into a mental health unit.
    I know you've tried everything. You've really done your best, and there's not much more you can do. So the only advice I can give is to ride it out as best you can. Its what I'm doing. Things can't be this sh!t forever, right? Just know that none of it is your fault, you've battled through heroically. If I were you this is what I would do:
    Try to get DS into care with DD one day a week. Use that day to sleep/sit and cry lol. Go to your mum's as often as you can. Would you be able to do every third weekend or something? Then the weekends you are home get DH to take over as much as possible. While you're at your mum's he will be getting a break too so I think its not too much to ask.
    I would also consider introducing a bottle for some of the night feeds. This is what I'm thinking of doing. Right now, mumma's mental health is #1 priority, and that can get a big boost by a decent night's sleep. Now that my DD is on solids I don't have any issues with giving her an occasional bottle of formula in the night if it means I get a straight 6 hours sleep. Not sure if it's something you would consider but I thought it worth a mention.

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  12. #9
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    FL - I have not yet started solids but dh suggested a bottle of formula for tonight and when he wakes overnight. Because as you said, mums mental health is priority right now. He wants to know if ds needs that "full feeling" of the protein that formula gives to make him sleep longer. I am upset about it but nothing else works. I hope it doesn't interfere with his normal breast feeds in the day. The last straw for me would be if he stopped breast feeding.

    shy I would love the baby carrier website you mentioned? u can pm me if u like, thanks.

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    Just wanted to say, that by asking for advice on the forum shows what a great mum you are, looking after yourself and your kids. I posted in your previous thread about bed time routines so just wanted to Send you some hugs.

    Would it be possible for you to feed DS to sleep at DD's bed time, all three of you in your bed, so you can nap with DD too? I have no idea if practicle....

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