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  1. #11
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    She's 3, does she need a party? Seriously. We did the whole extended family thing for our ds's 1st Birthday, then it was just immediate family (which is still 15 people) of me & my dh from then on. Our ds only had his first party with friends, not family at age 5. I wouldn't be paying $15 - $20 a head for a bunch of 3yo's who may barely interact with my child to come to a party, but that's just me.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by mim1 View Post
    She's 3, does she need a party? Seriously. We did the whole extended family thing for our ds's 1st Birthday, then it was just immediate family (which is still 15 people) of me & my dh from then on. Our ds only had his first party with friends, not family at age 5. I wouldn't be paying $15 - $20 a head for a bunch of 3yo's who may barely interact with my child to come to a party, but that's just me.
    But that wasn't her question, so what's the point of adding your opinion on it? That's exactly what the OP wants to do- whether it's to your taste or not is kind of beside the point.

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  4. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by mim1 View Post
    She's 3, does she need a party? Seriously. We did the whole extended family thing for our ds's 1st Birthday, then it was just immediate family (which is still 15 people) of me & my dh from then on. Our ds only had his first party with friends, not family at age 5. I wouldn't be paying $15 - $20 a head for a bunch of 3yo's who may barely interact with my child to come to a party, but that's just me.
    it's $100 for up to 15 kids...so is less than $10 a head and is a simple way to celebrate another year passing. She does kindergym there and she LOVES it...it is something very personal for her.

    Inviting friends from daycare gives me a chance to meet the parents and possibly make some better friends that I can arrange playdates with. I have not met any of the parents from daycare yet and I don't know many people around here and it would be a great chance to get her a better social circle.

    The other friends are siblings or children of people we are close to...so they will be in her life for a long time (if not forever).

    I don't know how to multi quote....but someone mentioned DH being family orientated...

    and the answer to that is...no he isn't. His family are crap and never stay in touch. He maybe sees them a few times a year and only if we make the effort. His mum is a fricking nutcase. Half my problem is that they make it very hard...DH feels obligated.

    The lunch on Monday...

    we spoke about a few different things and came away with totally different understandings about what was happening It is for his 40th and I mentioned celebrating with his friends on Monday (which i meant as "you see them for cards every monday so celebrate there"...and he took as "hey...it's a public holiday so everyone can come over here") and it wasn't until 2 days ago we realised we were on totally different wave lengths. We have just reno'd a room and the knock on from that is that there is a fair bit of work to do before Monday to get things back in place and presentable. He is doing all the cooking for it....well, mostly...but i have to come up with a birthday cake and food for the kids....and get a 5000 word research project done...and I have another one due on Wednesday.

    I think part of the problem is that I am stressed beyond belief and feel incredibly overwhelmed...and i don't feel his family even appreciate coming over/being fed/drinks provided etc etc as I never even get a thank you.

    My main thing is that DD will love a gymnastics party and it is a good chance to make some contact with friends that she is choosing herself and I want it to be about her. I hate feeling obligated!

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    Quote Originally Posted by FearlessLeader View Post
    But that wasn't her question, so what's the point of adding your opinion on it? That's exactly what the OP wants to do- whether it's to your taste or not is kind of beside the point.
    I took the OP's underlying question as looking for ways to alleviate pressure around the birthday party. IMO, the perspective of Mim1 does address that.

    I think you were trying to defend OP, which is well intentioned, but isn't the strength of a forum like this that you might get a different perspective? Telling people that there's no point adding their opinion undermines the whole point of an internet forum and does little to create a safe space where people can discuss issues openly.

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    Couldn't have said it better Cdro! I think people sharing their views does add some sort of value - even if its a different view to others. I also am now reluctant to add anything else to this thread as I do not want to be told that I am not helping because I am not validating someone else's feelings.

    OP - it sounds like there are big issues with the inlaws so I hope you figure out a solution that is good for you and your DH as you will probably be funding the day as a couple.. I am sure your DD will be able to look back on photos and know that the people in them enjoyed celebrating that day with her and that will be great. Good luck!


    Two girls, one dream and baby you are it!

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    I understand both sides...FL was trying to make sure I didn't feel bad for posting but I also don't see anything wrong with questioning if DD does need a party. I don't think either post was meant with malice.

    She doesn't need a party...but, I want to celebrate her turning 3. Going to gymnastics will be cheaper and easier than anything else.

    Was really enjoying the posts because they were making me think deeper about why i want what I want and that will help me in the long run...so please, if you have a question, ask away

  8. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cdro View Post
    I took the OP's underlying question as looking for ways to alleviate pressure around the birthday party. IMO, the perspective of Mim1 does address that.

    I think you were trying to defend OP, which is well intentioned, but isn't the strength of a forum like this that you might get a different perspective? Telling people that there's no point adding their opinion undermines the whole point of an internet forum and does little to create a safe space where people can discuss issues openly.
    Hmm, I disagree that it was a different perspective. I thought the OP was pretty clear in her two posts that that sort of party is what she had her heart set on. So I felt it was just adding an unnecessary opinion, that wasn't really worded very politely. But if the OP had no issues with it, then carry on.

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    Stuff having additional adults there and stuff holding a separate party for extended family.

    Holding a massive do for anything other than a 1st, 18th or 21st is Unecessary.

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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Stuff having additional adults there and stuff holding a separate party for extended family.

    Holding a massive do for anything other than a 1st, 18th or 21st is Unecessary.
    Boring! Unnecessary for some but I love throwing parties for any excuse!

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    For DS1' s 3rd bday we had his friend's, their parents, and both our families but no friends without kids. It was big but I didn't want to have 2 parties.

    Are you going to have to see family for her bday anyway? If you have to see them I would invite them just to save organising anything else. All adults do at most parties is sit and talk so it won't matter if there is nothing for them to do.

    At the end of the day though if you don't want them there just have the kids from daycare.

    Sent from my telecommunications device.


 

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