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  1. #1
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    Default 3 year old birthday party

    all these posts about parties have made me think about the disagreement DH and I are having about DD's birthday in September.

    She has started daycare 2 days a week and has made some little friends, plus she has 4 friends from assorted sources (like DS's friends little brothers and sisters).

    I want to just have a little party at her gymnastics centre (they do cheap parties on a Sunday and they are fab) with her friends...no big deal. I want it simple and easy....cake and a little bit of party food/fruit.

    DH wants to invite all of his family/friends on top of that.

    Now, there is a room that we can use at the gym to do cake and stuff...but nothing else for people to do.

    DO you have to invite extended family to every birthday party?? I never did with DS and it ****s me that all these people who we rarely see need to come along...all they will end up doing is sitting around.

  2. #2
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    FearlessLeader is offline Winner 2013 - Most Memorable Thread
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    Nope, for DS's 3rd we had one party with his little friends and then cake with grandparents and uncles on his actual birthday. MIL and mum BOTH tried to invite themselves to the kids party to 'help out' and I politely told them to get stuffed. extended family is overkill, imo.

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    Why not compromise and have the kids party at the gymnastics centre and then have a "family get together" to celebrate at home or a local park and have a sausage sizzle? That way you have something child orientated with her friends and something more like a social BBQ for family? That way it can also be cheap and no fuss but your DH can have his family there to celebrate. I am sure your little one won't mind having 2 birthday cakes! Parks are great if there are any other young children in the family too especially if there is some play equipment close to the BBQ area. My birthday is in September and I LOVED having outdoor birthdays at parks/beaches growing up - great weather for it!! Also means no having to clean up or worry about dishes either! Plastic plates and cups! I


    Two girls, one dream and baby you are it!

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    Nope- we just invited DD's school friends to her 5th birthday party last month. We have 30 odd people between my siblings, their spouses and my nieces and nephews so we have either family or friends parties.
    We invite grandparents over for birthday dinner so they don't miss out.

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    I really don't want to do 2 things...we have had big gatherings for her 1st and her 2nd and her birthday falls at the end of my uni term and I just don't want to be having to cater to 2 parties or a huge one (50 people) like we had last year.

    I just think she has finally got some of her own little friends and I want her to be able to have them for a party. None of DH's extended family have kids her age (only under 1's or over 5's) and I want the party to be about the 3 year olds. DS will have 1 friend there (the little sister of that friend is DD's best friend) and they will be helpers not participants.

    I am trying to get through to DH that not every birthday needs to be a huge DEAL...DS only has a party every other year and I want it to be the same for DD but he has this idea that every single family member needs to be invited and does not respect that it turns her birthday into something that is masses of work rather than something I can relax and enjoy.

    I am feeling all angry and ranty about it rofl and I prob should chill out but i am in the middle of 3 uni assignments and DH has just informed me that 15 people are coming over for lunch on monday (the day 1 of my projects is due) and i cannot face going through this again in September.


    I can just see this escalating out of control again and all i want is a little party with 10 ish kids having some fun at gymnastics, a nice bit of cake and then buggering off home...i think i am a grinch!

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    Hmm it's a tough one and very clear that its a stressful time for you with Uni and all. I guess maybe talk to DH and say that you would like to enjoy your little ones special day and not be entertaining family at the same time. Maybe he will see that it's just you wanting to be 100% there at her birthday and its not that you are being a grinch! It sounds like DH is family orientated and I grew up that way too so it's hard to not be biased but I can definitely see why it's frustrating for you. I definitely agree that there is no point in having family at the gymnastics party because in that sort of environment you would definitely feel like you have to entertain everyone - hopefully he can see that too!


    Two girls, one dream and baby you are it!

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    my DD's 3rd birthday is in 3 weeks and we are inviting everyone to her party...family, friends with kids, childless friends etc. All up about 40 people. In a few years when she is older and has her close group of friends then I will be doing strictly kids parties but at this age I would invite her friends parents anyway so may as well invite everyone. If I didn't invite everyone then I would end up having to do a family dinner or something for each side of the family so it seems easier to just chuck everyone together. We are hiring a community hall so lots of room anyway, if it was a play centre then it would be friends only.

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    We invite close family and friends but that's what my family has always done so its quite normal for me! I wouldn't stress about your DD, she will have a ball with her friends regardless of who else is there

    I was just looking at some of my childhood photos of my birthday cakes on the weekend when I was at mums house, I don't even remember half the kids in the photos but it was really great to see my grandparents in all my birthday photos and I'm glad my DS will have the same memories when he is older

    if its really upsetting you could you come to a compromise and maybe just tell your DH grandparents and aunts/uncles no friends?

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    Just saw your 2nd post OP, what about having the party with just kids and then telling other relatives that if they want to see your DD for her birthday then you are taking her to the park on this date and can they bring a plate to share. Very low stress.

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    That sounds like a pretty frustrating situation for both you and DH! Is the main reason you don't want extended family because of the extra work involved? To me, if your husband wants extra guests, he could do the extra work to take the pressure off you? (Speaking of helping you with pressure, I think inviting 15 people to lunch without asking you whether it's ok is a little inconsiderate...but I digress....) I think that whoever has to put in the work to organise it should get the final say.

    Or is it that you don't mind to do the work but you feel like your DH is taking it a bit for granted?

    If you're more concerned about the other things you talked about - different ages of the kids, people sitting around etc., again, I would see it as your husband's responsibility to entertain anyone that he wants to invite. IMHO, I think you're taking on the entire responsibility for making the party a success, and maybe DH could share a bit of that. To me, if he wants input, he needs to help with the actual organisation.

    Hope you sort it out.


 

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