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  1. #21
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    I felt guilty for a day or so. Like mentioned I think mainly because it didn't occur to me that I wouldn't be able to but bubs couldn't latch on and when expressing my milk suddenly dried up and no-on my doctors and LC's could get it back. It was either ff or let my baby starve to death.

    I got lots of support from family but it was really the news that got to me. Around that time ff was regarded as poisoning a baby, they end up fat and less of an iq and are always sick and allergies.

    About a week of guilt I got over it and my baby is healthy (1 cold in 18months) no signs of any allergies. He is meeting all his milestones and is not fat - quite lean actually.

    I definitely have no guilt now - my new baby will be full time expressing and when my milk dries up I will ff. I found my baby slept soundly and my DH was able to have a better bond as he was able to feed our son. It was the right choice for us.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cicho View Post
    That is awful. There is no excuse for anyone to speak to a new mum that way. I will say that I read a lot of the same 'there was no other option for me' stories and sometimes I think. Really? Are there this many people in one place (aka forum) who can power through any BFing issue and continue to BF? We don't know in honesty who is telling the truth and who isn't, so I read those threads with a healthy dose of skepticism
    some women DO actually keep breastfeeding despite major issues that get in their way because it is so important for THEM, not anyone else. I take my hat off to those women. I encountered mastitis early on while bf my DS as he decided to all of a sudden sleep thru the night at 8 weeks old. I was bed ridden for days on end. DH had to cancel work to look after the kids for a week. It was "assumed" i'd not continue feeding him. I was horrified. I darn well kept feeding my boy and im sure glad i did.
    Sometimes if you have the mind set of "there is no other option" (for ME, not anyone else) then you have more determination to keep feeding.

  3. #23
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    I don't think I felt "guilt" as such - I don't think I did anything wrong, so no reason to feel guilty. But I certainly felt disappointment, grief, trauma, resentment, a sense of unfairness, failure...

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Little Miss Muffet View Post
    some women DO actually keep breastfeeding despite major issues that get in their way because it is so important for THEM, not anyone else. I take my hat off to those women. I encountered mastitis early on while bf my DS as he decided to all of a sudden sleep thru the night at 8 weeks old. I was bed ridden for days on end. DH had to cancel work to look after the kids for a week. It was "assumed" i'd not continue feeding him. I was horrified. I darn well kept feeding my boy and im sure glad i did.
    Sometimes if you have the mind set of "there is no other option" (for ME, not anyone else) then you have more determination to keep feeding.
    Right there. This is what upsets me most. When you say "for ME" - the implication is that people who didn't ultimately succeed didn't have that mindset.

    I can promise you that there was no other option for ME either, and I was determined as all hell to do it... Except BF wasn't an actual option in the end so I had no choice. It stings more than you can imagine to hear all of that trauma, effort and sacrifice i went through minimized because you succeeded and I didn't. It's not guilt - I didn't do anything wrong. But it still freaking hurts SIX years on...

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  6. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    Right there. This is what upsets me most. When you say "for ME" - the implication is that people who didn't ultimately succeed didn't have that mindset.

    I can promise you that there was no other option for ME either, and I was determined as all hell to do it... Except BF wasn't an actual option in the end so I had no choice. It stings more than you can imagine to hear all of that trauma, effort and sacrifice i went through minimized because you succeeded and I didn't. It's not guilt - I didn't do anything wrong. But it still freaking hurts SIX years on...
    Been sitting here trying to write a response, but you nailed it on the head with this comment and I agree with you



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  8. #26
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    I do not feel any guilt whatsoever about FF. I loved every minute of FFing and hated the few minutes of Bfing that I half heartedly tried.

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  10. #27
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    Guilt? no. As I have said before in this topic, guilt implies wrong doing. Especially with my son I tried hard, used the little resources and services around me I could. I was guilty of nothing imo. Sadness - yes. But lately this has been lifted a lot. Formula is a perfectly good alternative. All the subtle self righteous comments that people have listed that upset them, annoy me more than anything now. The most frustrating and disingenuous one though is the 'you appear to feel guilty' comment that I see regularly on here. It's so value laden and sanctimonious.

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  12. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    Right there. This is what upsets me most. When you say "for ME" - the implication is that people who didn't ultimately succeed didn't have that mindset.

    I can promise you that there was no other option for ME either, and I was determined as all hell to do it... Except BF wasn't an actual option in the end so I had no choice. It stings more than you can imagine to hear all of that trauma, effort and sacrifice i went through minimized because you succeeded and I didn't. It's not guilt - I didn't do anything wrong. But it still freaking hurts SIX years on...
    But she is trying to speak for herself and herself only, ie her own personal journey with breastfeeding, totally separate from any other person. Who knows, with the dozens of factors at play with breastfeeding, 1 or 2 others things *may* have gone wrong, and the breastfeeding relationship may not have worked. I am a breastfeeder, and I was determined yes, and I managed it, but I'm not blind to the fact that with a different roll of the dice, I may have been faced with different problems that I just *couldn't* overcome.

    No-one can compare their feeding journeys with those of anyone elses, as they are as different as we ourselves are, and as all of our children are.

    Comparisons seem to just create toxic feelings.

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  14. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by AM View Post
    But she is trying to speak for herself and herself only, ie her own personal journey with breastfeeding, totally separate from any other person. Who knows, with the dozens of factors at play with breastfeeding, 1 or 2 others things *may* have gone wrong, and the breastfeeding relationship may not have worked. I am a breastfeeder, and I was determined yes, and I managed it, but I'm not blind to the fact that with a different roll of the dice, I may have been faced with different problems that I just *couldn't* overcome.

    No-one can compare their feeding journeys with those of anyone elses, as they are as different as we ourselves are, and as all of our children are.

    Comparisons seem to just create toxic feelings.
    Well the post I was referring to was certainly comparing her journey to others. It was pretty clear.

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    Quote Originally Posted by btmac View Post
    I think that some of the glee I am seeing in these replies is just as sad as the over the top behaviour by pro bf.
    What glee? Some of us are just having a light hearted laugh. Nothing more.

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