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  1. #141
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    I think you should probably read the news studies that are coming out about breastfeeding vs formula feeding, the ones that show that there is absolutely no difference between breastfed children and formula fed children.

    I understand you feel guilty - but saying that she missed out on having a "brilliant start to life" seems like kick in the guts for anyone who couldn't breastfeed for whatever reason. I know you probably don't mean it like that.

    I hope you are able to overcome your guilt.

    Quote Originally Posted by CharlieJayn View Post
    I feel incredibly guilty over not Breastfeeding. And I deserve all the guilt, regret and criticism of get. I planned to breast feed t whole way through my pregnancy. Never bought bottles or formula just in case. Half way through my pregnancy I stopped taking my anti depressants. And (this is my horrible shameful secret) started to feel more unattached to the baby growing inside me. After my emergency c section as I came out from the general and met my baby girl for the first time I didn't cope I broke down and ask them to take her away. I felt unattached from her, DF, my family and myself. I never gave it a shot. The midwives ended up giving her formula while DF had to go buy everything needed for FF.
    I was released from hospital and still felt no attachment to anyone and ended up in mental health care when DD was 2 weeks old. I neve gave her a shot at a brilliant healthy beginning. I was so selfish and uncaring.
    Since then I've ha alot of help and support and am on a new anti depressant. But I feel sick to my stomach that I never even gave it a chance even though I always planned to. She missed out on having the brilliant start to life that is breast milk and we both missed out on the bonding. I feel ashamed and guilty every day about it.

    People always say that it's ok because she is a happy healthy little girl. It doesn't make me feel better though because she could have been so much better off if it wasn't for me. I don't know if it would have worked out or not but bits of fact I didn't try that makes me feel horrible. Sorry for raving on. Having a little sob now. Guess I needed to vent about it.

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  3. #142
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    The kind of support I'd be thinking, is not all the snide *****iness and general ill will towards formula feeders. That goes for the public and professionals.

    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    I FF my first and have mixed fad and now still BF my second. I hate the thought of people feeling guilty when they wanted to bf. Can I ask what kind of support you want for FFing? In my experience FF was really pushed a number of times both in hosp and by ECHNs and I've seen a number of online resources. Do you mean like an equivalent to the ABA?

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    My MIL has a great comeback for people who criticise FF. (DH) was FF and he is 6'2"! No medical conditions, no allergies and IQ of 168. Didn't exactly do him any harm.

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  6. #144
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    Quote Originally Posted by CharlieJayn View Post
    I feel incredibly guilty over not Breastfeeding. And I deserve all the guilt, regret and criticism of get. I planned to breast feed t whole way through my pregnancy. Never bought bottles or formula just in case. Half way through my pregnancy I stopped taking my anti depressants. And (this is my horrible shameful secret) started to feel more unattached to the baby growing inside me. After my emergency c section as I came out from the general and met my baby girl for the first time I didn't cope I broke down and ask them to take her away. I felt unattached from her, DF, my family and myself. I never gave it a shot. The midwives ended up giving her formula while DF had to go buy everything needed for FF.
    I was released from hospital and still felt no attachment to anyone and ended up in mental health care when DD was 2 weeks old. I neve gave her a shot at a brilliant healthy beginning. I was so selfish and uncaring.
    Since then I've ha alot of help and support and am on a new anti depressant. But I feel sick to my stomach that I never even gave it a chance even though I always planned to. She missed out on having the brilliant start to life that is breast milk and we both missed out on the bonding. I feel ashamed and guilty every day about it.

    People always say that it's ok because she is a happy healthy little girl. It doesn't make me feel better though because she could have been so much better off if it wasn't for me. I don't know if it would have worked out or not but bits of fact I didn't try that makes me feel horrible. Sorry for raving on. Having a little sob now. Guess I needed to vent about it.
    I really hope you listen carefully to what other people above have said and please please please stop feeling guilty. It's so wonderful that you got help for your depression and are on the right track now.

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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    I think you should probably read the news studies that are coming out about breastfeeding vs formula feeding, the ones that show that there is absolutely no difference between breastfed children and formula fed children.

    I understand you feel guilty - but saying that she missed out on having a "brilliant start to life" seems like kick in the guts for anyone who couldn't breastfeed for whatever reason. I know you probably don't mean it like that.

    I hope you are able to overcome your guilt.

    I really didn't mean it like that and I'm so sorry to anyone who I have upset.

    Sorry again...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Funnels View Post
    I really hope you listen carefully to what other people above have said and please please please stop feeling guilty. It's so wonderful that you got help for your depression and are on the right track now.
    Thanks.. I try to move past it alot but I can't. One day maybe, but at the moment it's to hard. It's comforting to hear all your replies though. Thankyou

  9. #147
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    It's fine, I didn't mean to make you feel bad.

    Quote Originally Posted by CharlieJayn View Post
    I really didn't mean it like that and I'm so sorry to anyone who I have upset.

    Sorry again...

  10. #148
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    How old is your little one? I felt the exact same as you for years. But the older my kids got, it slowly started to change. Until one day I realised that it was ok they were mainly ff'ed. They didn't have lower IQs, prone to illness or overweight or any of the other things that they say.

    Also I was breastfed for a year, and I am riddled with health problems (which in turn caused me not to be able to bf). Purely anecdotal of course. But given time you will hopefully move on, because it really wasn't your fault, mental illness is awful and you just don't feel rational when you are in the midst of it. Be kind to yourself.

    Quote Originally Posted by CharlieJayn View Post
    Thanks.. I try to move past it alot but I can't. One day maybe, but at the moment it's to hard. It's comforting to hear all your replies though. Thankyou

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  12. #149
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    Quote Originally Posted by beebs View Post
    How old is your little one? I felt the exact same as you for years. But the older my kids got, it slowly started to change. Until one day I realised that it was ok they were mainly ff'ed. They didn't have lower IQs, prone to illness or overweight or any of the other things that they say.

    Also I was breastfed for a year, and I am riddled with health problems (which in turn caused me not to be able to bf). Purely anecdotal of course. But given time you will hopefully move on, because it really wasn't your fault, mental illness is awful and you just don't feel rational when you are in the midst of it. Be kind to yourself.
    This exactly!!! I was the same beebs, I was breastfed for 3 months until they finally realised that BF'ing was killing me. My allergies were so shockingly severe that if my mum had persisted she may well have killed me. I had to be put onto an expensive and specialised formula. People might bang on about breast being best but for me it truly wasn't.

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  14. #150
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    Quote Originally Posted by CharlieJayn View Post
    I feel incredibly guilty over not Breastfeeding. And I deserve all the guilt, regret and criticism of get. I planned to breast feed t whole way through my pregnancy. Never bought bottles or formula just in case. Half way through my pregnancy I stopped taking my anti depressants. And (this is my horrible shameful secret) started to feel more unattached to the baby growing inside me. After my emergency c section as I came out from the general and met my baby girl for the first time I didn't cope I broke down and ask them to take her away. I felt unattached from her, DF, my family and myself. I never gave it a shot. The midwives ended up giving her formula while DF had to go buy everything needed for FF.
    I was released from hospital and still felt no attachment to anyone and ended up in mental health care when DD was 2 weeks old. I neve gave her a shot at a brilliant healthy beginning. I was so selfish and uncaring.
    Since then I've ha alot of help and support and am on a new anti depressant. But I feel sick to my stomach that I never even gave it a chance even though I always planned to. She missed out on having the brilliant start to life that is breast milk and we both missed out on the bonding. I feel ashamed and guilty every day about it.

    People always say that it's ok because she is a happy healthy little girl. It doesn't make me feel better though because she could have been so much better off if it wasn't for me. I don't know if it would have worked out or not but bits of fact I didn't try that makes me feel horrible. Sorry for raving on. Having a little sob now. Guess I needed to vent about it.
    Whaaaaaaaattttttt? Bull$hit you deserve criticism, regret and guilt. You had an illness. If you couldn't breastfeed because you had an operation or cancer or something like that,


 

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