I persevered with BF for 6 hellish weeks with DS1. I have a severe skin condition that reacts to stress and was out of control. I also suffered from nipple vasospasm and would lie in bed and cry after every feed. The MHN that visited me tried everything she could to help me and was constantly phoning and visiting to see if she could help. After 6 weeks I said enough is enough and stopped. When the MHN found out she walked out of my house and I never heard from her again. Charming!
With DS2 I kept an open mind. I didn't buy formula and bottles but was prepared to if it was all too much. I refused to beat myself up like I did the first time. Turned out DS2 was a champion feeder and I fed him until he weaned himself at 15 months.
For number 3 I'm going in with an open mind again but will not hesitate to change if it isn't working out. Beating ourselves up achieves zero!!
You know what? This whole subject terrifies me. I'm due in May with #3, and a large part of me wants to just FF from the start, simply so I can avoid the guilt, and avoid the "failing at BFing tag". Perhaps it would be nice not to fail, just not to try at all! I hate that every second person thinks that it is their business to ask you, offer you advice. I hate sitting next to someone who is calmly feeding their well-behaved fully BF baby with my screaming wreck of a child who will not latch, will not feed. I hate that people look at me when I am trying to do something that feels so goddamned difficult to me. I hate the questions. I hate when people sit there and tell me how much they LOVED BF their child while I am clearly struggling.
Eek. Am I really doing this again? Farrrrrrrrrk.
There are a few good websites with Facebook pages FF mums can check out for support and advice:
- Fearless Formula Feeder (bigger US site with good blog posts)
- Bottle Babies (Aussie online FF community).
I find them helpful and supportive.
I was made to feel like I didn't try hard enough. Was sent home and due to my massive blood loss during birth my milk was delayed at coming through. The hospital didn't tell me this would be the case and I spent our first night at home with a starving baby, screaming for something, anything.
The next morning the nurse came for a home visit and squeezed, prodded etc at my bleeding nipples. She then read about my blood loss and apologised, but told me to keep going milk would come in by 3 or 4 days?! OK, but what do I feed my darling until then? I kept trying to pump something out, but borrowed a tin of formula from my niece in the meantime.
In the end my milk never came more than 10-20mls and I had mastitis, needless to say, formula saved my life!
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