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  1. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    I never said that I'm a better person or parent for breastfeeding, nor do I believe that. I formula fed dd1.

    It's simply a case of to be able to breastfeed both you and bub have to be able to tick off a long list from milk production to correct latch and everything in between, whereas with formula feeding only bub needs to respond well. When there are two people to get it right with breastfeeding compared to just one with formula feeding, of course they need more help.
    Yes, NEED being the word. Not deserve, which you previously used. That to me implies that you are doing something that is better, therefore you are entitled to it. People who aren't BF, therefore don't deserve it. That to me says you think you are better.

    I would agree with need, not deserve.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sniggle6 View Post
    But as I said, it's her choice to persevere. That doesn't make her more deserving of anything. That is what grinds me, the sense of entitlement and that she is better because she chooses to continue BF. And Louise's experience was that FF was difficult. Redlips just completely disregarded that.
    Sure it is, I agree. I think perhaps it's the word deserving that is the problem. How about we replace that with something along the lines of bf mums "sometimes needing" more support. I didn't see anything to indicate that she feels she is better than ff mums- it would be ridiculous because she has been a ff mum, you know?
    Regarding Louise's experience, it's very different now and has been for a very long time. I don't know what it was like 18 years ago but 11 years ago I had no trouble reading the packaging on formula tins and bottles and teats. It wasn't difficult to get information then and it's even easier now with online resources and helplines. So while she might have struggled, it's not the same now. She initially said she wanted there to be more support for ff mums. I asked what more she wanted. She hasn't answered except to complain that bf mums were able to access more than she was 18 years ago. But as I and others have said, the info and support for ff mums is readily available now.

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  5. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    Sure it is, I agree. I think perhaps it's the word deserving that is the problem. How about we replace that with something along the lines of bf mums "sometimes needing" more support. I didn't see anything to indicate that she feels she is better than ff mums- it would be ridiculous because she has been a ff mum, you know?
    Regarding Louise's experience, it's very different now and has been for a very long time. I don't know what it was like 18 years ago but 11 years ago I had no trouble reading the packaging on formula tins and bottles and teats. It wasn't difficult to get information then and it's even easier now with online resources and helplines. So while she might have struggled, it's not the same now. She initially said she wanted there to be more support for ff mums. I asked what more she wanted. She hasn't answered except to complain that bf mums were able to access more than she was 18 years ago. But as I and others have said, the info and support for ff mums is readily available now.
    I just said similar in my previous post. As soon as I read Redlips post and she said need, that's when it clicked in my mind. It's the word deserved that was the trigger. Need would be much better.

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    I really just felt disappointed that it didn't workout. However as soon as we realised bub was starving and have him some formula he was happy and so were we. I comp fed for a while but I just didn't produce much milk. Thank goodness for formula or we'd be in not a very happy place.

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    Quote Originally Posted by SpecialPatrolGroup View Post

    Ultimately the World Health Organisation recommendations have required the breastfeeding be universally promoted as the optimal feeding method. Formula companies have theor hands tied with regards to promoting formula. Fortunately babies being ff'd here in Austalia have access to clean water for the hygienic preparation of formula so formula is and excellent way of delivering nutrition.
    .
    Of course breast feeding should be promoted at the optimal, but doesnt change the fact that many cant or wont bf for many reasons.

    Im not refering to formula companies promoting their products

    There should be support groups, consultants and information available to formula feeders also. Some mothers struggle immensely with finding the right formula etc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by sniggle6 View Post
    Her post was insulting and rude, regardless of what she was responding to. And as if BF mums don't try to make FF mums feel bad or guilty in a more personal way. If she is going to feel bad about the ABA being available, then that's her issue. I think it's a lot worse implying how much better she is because she chooses to persevere with BF rather than take the "easy" option and FF.

    Whatever. It's clear there's no point carrying on, you believe she was with her rights, I don't.
    I think her post showed she felt offended. I don't think it's ok for anyone to be insulting or rude. It's not ok for Redlipsandpearls to insult ff mums (though I don't think that was the intention) and more than it is ok for louise41 to guilt-trip bf mums.

    I know some bf mums try to make ff mums feel bad. I recounted a story of what happened to someone I know just yesterday. It's not on. But nor is it ok for ff mums to have digs about bf mums.

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  12. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by SoThisIsLove View Post
    Of course breast feeding should be promoted at the optimal, but doesnt change the fact that many cant or wont bf for many reasons.

    Im not refering to formula companies promoting their products

    There should be support groups and information available to them also. Some mothers struggle immensely with finding the right formula etc.
    There IS support for this. I posted a link to the parent line website earlier on, they can advise on formula feeding, as well as the phone lines run by formula companies. There is also an enormous amount of info online from formula companies and health advisory services. It's really accessible. And many GPs are well versed in formula, whereas hardly any have a clue about bf as it's not part of their training.
    There is nothing to stop anyone setting up a charity like the aba for ff mums though.

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  14. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by sniggle6 View Post
    Yes, NEED being the word. Not deserve, which you previously used. That to me implies that you are doing something that is better, therefore you are entitled to it. People who aren't BF, therefore don't deserve it. That to me says you think you are better.

    I would agree with need, not deserve.
    I don't think we need to try too hard to see that RedLips is having a really rotten time right now, and delving into the semantics of *need* and *deserve* is not going to help this discussion.

    The fact is, breastfeeding is a very solitary experience. Formula feeders are often able to have another person give their bub a bottle, but that is not the case with breastfeeding (In 20 months, I was the only person that gave milk to my daughter).

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    Quote Originally Posted by SpecialPatrolGroup View Post
    I don't think we need to try too hard to see that RedLips is having a really rotten time right now, and delving into the semantics of *need* and *deserve* is not going to help this discussion.

    The fact is, breastfeeding is a very solitary experience. Formula feeders are often able to have another person give their bub a bottle, but that is not the case with breastfeeding (In 20 months, I was the only person that gave milk to my daughter).
    I was simply trying to explain why I felt her post was offensive. I don't think anyone "deserves" anything for how they choose to feed their baby. By using the word need, her post would have been much less offensive and inflammatory. There is a huge difference in the words. I would say it's actually very important to the discussion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    There IS support for this. I posted a link to the parent line website earlier on, they can advise on formula feeding, as well as the phone lines run by formula companies. There is also an enormous amount of info online from formula companies and health advisory services. It's really accessible. And many GPs are well versed in formula, whereas hardly any have a clue about bf as it's not part of their training.
    There is nothing to stop anyone setting up a charity like the aba for ff mums though.
    I realise this, just saying that there should be. There should be support no matter how u feed was the point, not that bf or ff deserve more support, i think thats the issue here. All mums deserve support!!

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