Then, the next day, I wrote her the following email:
Hope you got home quicker yesterday - and dry. It was quite a storm!
I wanted to write to you to let know know that we've decided its best we call it quits. It became apparent yesterday that it's all a bit much for the kids, and for me too.
I realized ds has a good amount of time at kindergarten already and really needs someone who is more relaxed, less regimented and dominating, so that he can have some time to just be a kid and let go.
I think this came to a head yesterday afternoon, when ds was upset. I wanted to step in but I had dd to deal with too and also wanted to show my trust and faith in you to handle it. Unfortunately, I felt it wasn't handled in an acceptable way. I'm not sure if you are aware of what you were saying, but you told ds something along the lines of "You're being a baby. Are you a baby? Do we need to get you some nappies?" I have to wonder if, in hindsight, you think this is an appropriate way to speak to a child in your care? I know that it would not be acceptable at ds' kindergarten. And I would hope that anyone working professionally in child care or education would understand why. If you would like an explanation I am happy to provide.
We thought you were really great in other ways but we really need someone who is more in tune with the emotional needs of children and just more relaxed. I wish you well and hope you find another family soon that suits you.
All the best,
Looking back at this now I wish I had not been so polite! She was pretty horrid all round really, I can see it clearly now.
Now, how would a nanny respond to that email, do you think?