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  1. #51
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    Quote Originally Posted by bpac View Post
    What did you do OP?
    I didn't say anything at the time. I got my purse and paid her and she went home.

    Then, the next day, I wrote her the following email:

    Hope you got home quicker yesterday - and dry. It was quite a storm!

    I wanted to write to you to let know know that we've decided its best we call it quits. It became apparent yesterday that it's all a bit much for the kids, and for me too.

    I realized ds has a good amount of time at kindergarten already and really needs someone who is more relaxed, less regimented and dominating, so that he can have some time to just be a kid and let go.

    I think this came to a head yesterday afternoon, when ds was upset. I wanted to step in but I had dd to deal with too and also wanted to show my trust and faith in you to handle it. Unfortunately, I felt it wasn't handled in an acceptable way. I'm not sure if you are aware of what you were saying, but you told ds something along the lines of "You're being a baby. Are you a baby? Do we need to get you some nappies?" I have to wonder if, in hindsight, you think this is an appropriate way to speak to a child in your care? I know that it would not be acceptable at ds' kindergarten. And I would hope that anyone working professionally in child care or education would understand why. If you would like an explanation I am happy to provide.

    We thought you were really great in other ways but we really need someone who is more in tune with the emotional needs of children and just more relaxed. I wish you well and hope you find another family soon that suits you.

    All the best,

    -----

    Looking back at this now I wish I had not been so polite! She was pretty horrid all round really, I can see it clearly now.

    Now, how would a nanny respond to that email, do you think?

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  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    My thoughts:

    1) perhaps your little one still needs a day nap
    2) be cautious about the nanny, but don't go calling 000 yet.

    Good luck.
    Thanks - he hasn't had a regular nap in maybe 3 years! He was just over this tyrant lady I think. She was not much fun I realise now.

  4. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uniquey View Post
    I think it was quite fortuitous your son was tired and whingey etc, as you got to truly 'trial' this Nanny by seeing her in action and knowing first hand that she is definitely NO fit for your family.
    SOOOOO true!!!

  5. #54
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    I think it's a good reply. You made your point and did it politely.

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  7. #55
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    I think that email was really well written op.

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    javic  (05-06-2013)

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    I'm having flashbacks to my childhood. This is how my mum, dad and grandparents spoke to us in the same situations. Is it a generational thing ... like a stern "stop that nonsense!" style of discipline we grew up with. If she's older she might just have always known that style. I find it hard to watch when mum lectures DD like that though. I think "come on, she's 3. She can't regulate her emotions once she crosses a threshold" so I understand your angst. I'm not sure her actions came from the wrong place though.

    I think sometimes you've got to teach people other ways. I would have had a quiet word, personally, but it's well within your rights to chose a nanny who aligns with your disciplining style and values.

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  11. #57
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    HugsBunny is offline Once upon a time there was a bunny.........
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    Great email OP, has she responded?

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    javic  (05-06-2013)

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    I wouldn't worry about your email being too soft. The style of parenting thing is so subjective I don't think you could have gone much harder without being unreasonable and coming accross as nasty.

    Your email was a fair balance.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Degrassi View Post
    I'd say at the end of the trial "don't call us, we'll call you". Then not call

    But in all seriousness, I would probably find her approach offputting and continue to search for a better nanny.
    This.

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    I think your email was good. When jaspers being super whiney I have gone "okay baby come here and have some booby" because he laughs and it snaps him out of his mood (usually).

    Not cool to get in a kids face and talk down to them as you described. I wouldn't hire someone like that either. It doesn't necessarily mean someone is a *bad* person or *bad* nanny. I've worked as a nanny and I feel like it's important that mine and the parents values match up, otherwise it might just not a good match, but that doesn't make either of us wrong.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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