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    Default What to say to colleague who lost her brother

    A colleague of mine lost her brother a few days ago. I really like this girl as a colleague she is so great. But I just don't know what to say when she returns to work or do I text her that I'm thinking if her?
    So bad with knowing what to say when I just want her to know I care and feel for her family..

    I wouldn't call her a friend. She is a work friend .. I would never meet her out of work so not sure if I should just leave it.. Any opinions?

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    I would get her a card an leave it on her desk and say exactly what you just did, that you're thinking of her and her family. It lets her know you are thinking of her and acknowledges her loss.

  3. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Whoknows For This Useful Post:

    beebs  (31-05-2013),bpac  (31-05-2013),Raising Leprechauns  (31-05-2013),SassyMummy  (31-05-2013)

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    I lost my mum when I was 21, and many people just didn't know what to say to me - that was fine, and honestly they did not make my situation worse; these situations are horrifically awkward. What meant the most was the small gestures: cards, flowers, dinners ppl left for us. I second the card idea, then when she is ready, she'll come to you. Xoxo

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    I just lost my baby and lots if people from work sent texts which were all happily recieved. It let me read and cry in private. I am due back at work on Monday and really don't want work people to talk about it - glad to have you back etc is fine but I don't want to hear "I'm sorry" etc as it will be hard to keep it together as it is and I don't want to cry in the office.

    The kindest gestures from work colleagues were frozen meals delivered to me at home so I didn't have to worry about cooking. A few girls cooked / baked and one of my closer friends dropped it all around. Another group had stuff delivered from a catering company. Then just texts to let me know they were thinking of me in the weeks afterwards (better than the immediate influx of texts).

    Flowers and cards were also nice - except we had too many flowers.

    This was just my experience. Hope it helps.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Whoknows View Post
    I would get her a card an leave it on her desk and say exactly what you just did, that you're thinking of her and her family. It lets her know you are thinking of her and acknowledges her loss.
    I agree with this - except somehow send it to her home address instead maybe. If you can't get her address, perhaps send her a text instead.

    I would think cards at work 'may' make her get emotional, which she may not want on her first day back. But I definitely think letting her know you're thinking of her is lovely.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pesca77 View Post
    I agree with this - except somehow send it to her home address instead maybe. If you can't get her address, perhaps send her a text instead.

    I would think cards at work 'may' make her get emotional, which she may not want on her first day back. But I definitely think letting her know you're thinking of her is lovely.
    Perhaps if she writes "Thinking of you" on the front of the envelope then her colleague can decide if she it too emotional or not to open it at work?

    I think a card is a lovely idea. It breaks the ice for you in regards to "what you say" and it shows her that you have taken time to go and select a card for her.

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    I think giving a card when she arrives at work, but suggest she might read it in private, or when she gets back home. A hug, if she is accepting of that, otherwise, just give her space. It will be a very hard time for her. Marie.

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    The card sounds like a nice idea. I'd also go with a quiet "How are you doing?" when there are just the 2 of you there. If she wants to talk she may then open up, but otherwise it gives her the opportunity to keep it brief, but know that you cared enough to ask.

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    Quote Originally Posted by bpac View Post
    Perhaps if she writes "Thinking of you" on the front of the envelope then her colleague can decide if she it too emotional or not to open it at work?

    I think a card is a lovely idea. It breaks the ice for you in regards to "what you say" and it shows her that you have taken time to go and select a card for her.
    Yes, good idea.

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    Thank you all so much and so sorry to hear about all your losses.
    I will do the card thing I think that's a really nice idea too. Feel so bad for her she lost her dad not long ago too .. I sent a text that time but I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do or not


 

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