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  1. #31
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    Yeah but I don't think people who have been together for 20 years only separate if they are in an actively "unhappy" relationship.

    Maybe they choose to end these relationships because for the first time in 20 years they can get out there and reinvent themselves etc.

    I don't think it had to been seen as a sad our a bad thing...maybe just a time of life issue.

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  3. #33
    Theophania's Avatar
    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    I wonder how much of it comes down to a couple realizing they have both changed over the years without realizing it at the time. When the kids leave home and they finally get to 'find' each other again, maybe they are finding that they have simply grown apart. As for staying together for the kids, to be honest I would be someone who would think this way. Obviously not if DH and I fought constantly etc but if we simply fell out of love but could still get along for the kids sake I would consider it... I came from a broken home and it was most certainly best that my father left but I desperately don't want that for my kids. I also hate the thought of splitting care etc so as long as DH and I didn't 'hate' each other and fight constantly I think we would both think it was best for the kids to grow up with us both at home. (that is just my opinion for my family and I am in no way saying everyone should do this or that there is anything wrong with single parents etc)

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theophania View Post
    I wonder how much of it comes down to a couple realizing they have both changed over the years without realizing it at the time. When the kids leave home and they finally get to 'find' each other again, maybe they are finding that they have simply grown apart. As for staying together for the kids, to be honest I would be someone who would think this way. Obviously not if DH and I fought constantly etc but if we simply fell out of love but could still get along for the kids sake I would consider it... I came from a broken home and it was most certainly best that my father left but I desperately don't want that for my kids. I also hate the thought of splitting care etc so as long as DH and I didn't 'hate' each other and fight constantly I think we would both think it was best for the kids to grow up with us both at home. (that is just my opinion for my family and I am in no way saying everyone should do this or that there is anything wrong with single parents etc)
    Yes I think this is more common.

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  5. #35
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    My parents divorced when I was 28 after 28 years of marriage. Mum says she was unhappy for a long time but didn't want to leave until my brother and I were older. She married dad when she was 3 months pregnant with me and only 19. I think she thought the grass was greener. Dad, while a grump, worked his butt off for our family and treated mum really well. Now, 6 years later, she's with someone else, has put on weight, is on anti depressants and I don't think is any happier than she was when she was married to dad (who has since remarried and never forgiven mum for leaving him). She has all jut told me she regrets leaving him. Cest la vie.

  6. #36
    heeeeerekittykitty's Avatar
    heeeeerekittykitty is offline My babies, my cats ....ahhhh , bliss !!!
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    Me and my husband have discussed this lots .

    If we were still civil ,and the home was relatively peaceful and harmonious we would stay together to keep our family together . This might be terribly niave to think its just that easy but I hope if we were ever faced with this situation we could and would do this .


 

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