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  1. #11
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    See I don't think it's stay together for the sake of the kids but stay together for the sake of the parents.

    If DH & I were to split up it would be a 50/50 custody arrangement. I would hate to be separated from my children for half of their lives.

    So, barring abuse of any kind, I would most likely stay in a marriage 'for the children'.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by grumpybump View Post
    See I don't think it's stay together for the sake of the kids but stay together for the sake of the parents.

    If DH & I were to split up it would be a 50/50 custody arrangement. I would hate to be separated from my children for half of their lives.

    So, barring abuse of any kind, I would most likely stay in a marriage 'for the children'.
    This. I could not cope with being away from my child. The thought makes me feel sick. I think i would probably put up with pretty much anything if it meant full time with my DD. DP is a very hands on dad and i think he would struggle too. Thank god i am not in this situation!

  3. #13
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    I guess while your kids are still at school, separating wouldn't be the true "freedom" you crave anyway. You are still financially and physically tied down anyway.. Might as well stay together and save the hassle. Once the kids are grown up, separation means true freedom - being free to travel, quit your job, get your dream job, sell the house... Whatever it is that would truly make you happy without having to worry that your kids will suffer...

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    Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (27-05-2013)

  5. #14
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    My ex (DS's dad) had parents which did this. He said he knew there was always tension and would have been much happier if they had just separated.

  6. #15
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    'For the kids'... What does that even mean?

    I know people who got married 'for the kids'. Stupidest thing they ever did. It doesn't make sense, but whatever

  7. #16
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    My younger brother is 23 years old and still lives at home with our mum and his dad. The marraige between mum and my idiot stepfather has been rocky since before I left home, nearly 20 years years ago.
    When my brother was 19 he came into some money, and was going to buy a house. He came to my house in tears, not knowing what to do because when he told them he was buying his own house, they told him that after he moved out, they would be starting the divorce proceedings. He felt that his being at home was the only thing keeping them together.
    In spite of the fact that I told him that that was their life, and their choice, and that he shouldn't be responsible for their marraige one way or another, he felt he couldn't leave because it would be his fault when they broke up.
    He didn't buy his house, and thats a choice he will regret in the future.
    It's just one in a series of bs that they have done to him and tried on me without success. But I can't help but wonder how many other families out there use this kind of emotional blackmail over their kids..."if you move out, we are breaking up"

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    dancingchipmunk  (27-05-2013)

  9. #17
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    How sad for your brother and (sorry to say) mean of your mum and step dad to put that on him.

  10. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by flyawayfree View Post
    My ex (DS's dad) had parents which did this. He said he knew there was always tension and would have been much happier if they had just separated.
    My parents did the same thing. Was coming for years..

  11. #19
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    I went ballistic at them. We (my parents and I) haven't really been close since I turned 12. They occasionally try **** like this with me buy I tend to just day, thats sad but it's your choice.
    My little bro hasn't learned to handle them like that. My mum is the master if the guilt trip, and likes to try and get her way by doing this.

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  12. #20
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    My dad always told me that when my brother and I left home, he would leave my mum.
    When I was about 14, he had an affair and they separated for 6 months, then got back together.
    To this day I resent the fact they got back together. I was happy when they finally split up, and they should have stayed that way.
    I'm not sure they will split up when my brother leaves home.
    I don't really see why it would make any difference. I don't get the reasoning behind staying together for the kids. I would have much preferred my parents be split up than grow up in the toxic family that I did.
    Last edited by Rarity; 27-05-2013 at 13:26.


 

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