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  1. #1
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    Default Am i nuts??

    Hi all

    So a couple of weeks ago i miss AF and FREAKED OUT. Then when it arrived over a week late, i discoveren i'd actually m/c'd. Relief turned into heartbreak and DH suggested we might TTC #3. Yay!

    But... he is a little concerned how i will cope with another. I had a rough time with our first. Had PND for years, well pretty much until DD was eventually diagnosed with Autism (and i finally realised i wasnt a terrible mother). She's now off at school, and we are managing her issues much better these days, plus the school day gives me daily respite. DS (who is NT) is 20 months now. Many people tell me he is such a handful and very mischievous but in my eyes, compared to DD, he is an absolute breeze!

    I do want another, and then i'll be "done". But am i nuts? I already have two gorgeous kids, a girl and a boy. Why rock the boat? A special needs kid and a very active almost 2yo, should i really throw a newborn into the mix?? And what if bubs is on the spectrum too?

    Feeling very torn. What if its too much and i regret it

  2. #2
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    Hi LC, hmm that's a tough one. I think you could start by asking yourself a few questions....
    why do you possibly want a third? I know a friend who the more she thought about it she realised she really just wanted to experience having a newborn again but when she thought about everything a third means she decided against it. I have a different friend who really felt like her family was unfinished, really wanted another sibling for her kids and went for it.
    Also unfortunately we need to think about practicalities. Can your family afford a third child. Could you cope. Could you still give your first two all the attention and support they require? Such a tough decision i wish you all the best with your decision. Xx

  3. #3
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    Hi there ! Yep I totally get that. I felt I was a crap mum who couldn't manage until DS was diagnosed. It is very tough I agree. My two year old is a crazy boy and full of energy and is a wonderful but terrible 2er !! Anyway one day when ds2 was 10 months old I discovered that I was pregnant again . I looked back at how hard the last 4 years had been and I was so so worried but she was born oct last year and I have to say she has been the most wonderful addition to our family. The boys are so caring and lovely to her. I did feel overwhelmed the first couple of months and anxious and guilty for my two boys as she needed me but it has worked out great now she is standing and amusing herself.

    My oldest has always had autism , there was not a period of regression. My other two are completely neuro typical . It's always a worry thinking how you would cope with two on the spectrum but I think you have done the hard yards and are now probably an autism expert! I think if you want another do it so you don't have regrets , your dd is in school and that's good as you will have more time to dedicate to the baby.

    Good luck with your decision and I wish you lots of luck xxxxx

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to babynomad For This Useful Post:

    steel magnolia  (26-05-2013)

  5. #4
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    Thanks babynomad, its reasuring to hear a positive experience from someone with a very similar family!

    I think i'll indulge in a few more days of baby planning and then take a good long look at it all before we start trying.


 

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