Since exDh and I split, I've allowed him to have DS1 every Saturday. This often spreads to 1.5 days by the time he brings him home. As I'm on mat leave, I've allowed this to happen since I have him all week anyway.
Now exDH informs me last night (through prompting from me) that his pregnant girlfriend is moving in with him in 2 weeks. How I feel about that is a whole other story, but I now want to change out visitation schedule and protect my DS1 through this transition.
I'm proposing we move to fortnightly visitation now, but if he wants he can have him 2nts instead, so the standard for many fathers anyway. We may also work up to 1 week night too on the alternating weeks.
I just feel that we need to take it slowly again, as there is too much all happening at once for DS1 who is only 20mths. His dad left suddenly, he had to get used to a new house and leaving me of a weekend, I then brought DS2 home to shake up his world! Now he's going to have to get used to another house again, another woman in that house, then shortly another baby too. All within a 6mth period and at the same time as turning 2. I feel this is a lot for such a young boy so believe he needs a bit more stability.
In addition to this, once I return to work full time, the weekends will be my only quality time with the boys too. So I don't see why I should miss out on seeing them every Saturday like I do now. I don't want to only be the boring parent who does the very day stuff, we deserve to have fun together too. I would allow exDH to visit occasionally on his alternating weekends though, for the boys sake.
So does this sound fair to you? I want to do the right thing by my boys.