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  1. #1
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    Default Pro-BFing : help convince me?

    Hi ladies, i'm hoping you can help convince me to BF my next bub.

    First some background...
    I was continually abused as a pre-teen, and was left with serious issues regarding my breasts. I hate them.
    Despite this, wheb i had DD i trully intended to BF. But i found it utterly horrific (emotionally). So she was FF from 8wks. She had trouble latching on and it was physically painful, i have an inverted nipple, but it was my emotional issues that ultimately drove me to stop.
    When i had DS, i wanted to try it again, but DH told me he'd rather i saved my sanity and convinced me to FF him right from the start. After the birth, DS latched on like a pro, which made me feel like i should give it a go, but i didnt.

    We are now discussing having one last bub. I really would like to BF this time, as its now or never. Can you offer me some advice? Whats your best BF'ing advice?

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    Be kind to yourself. You want to try again, awesome! That's the first step.

    It's ok to feel hesitant, especially since the reasons you have explained. I say if you do have another child try bf. Acknowledge that it hasn't been easy in the past but remind yourself that that doesn't mean you won't have success this time.

    If, for whatever reason, bf doesn't work though you have done your best.

    Best of luck for whatever choice you make

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    When you get old like me you'll realise that breast aren't sexual. They are saggy lumps of blubber that serve one purpose: feeding a baby.

    Anyhoo hints for bf'ing:
    - lansinoh nipple cream
    - those gel pads that you put in the freezer then down your bra (I think this is what saved my breastfeeding efforts)
    - a comfy glider chair
    - breathing deeply and counting for the first 20 seconds of a feed: it really did get better after the initial latch
    - Give yourself a break! Bf'ing is hard. I was in excruciating pain for the first 2 weeks and it took until 6 weeks before I found it enjoyable.

    Good luck!

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    Can you perhaps try some counselling or similar treatment to help you deal with those issues, if for no other reason than your own peace of mind? I hate the thought of anyone hating part of themselves when they have done nothing to deserve that

    As far as BF goes, BubHub is a wealth of knowledge and support for the practicalities. You can also look into a lactation consultant when the time comes, to assist with latching etc.

    Breastfeeding has numerous health benefits and is so good for bonding But you can still have a healthy baby and an excellent bond with ff. I think in your case, looking after yourself is very important and you need to make the best choice for your family. If that means expressing, bf or ff, that's fine.

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    mrsd  (23-05-2013)

  6. #5
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    Theophania is offline 'see what had happened was..there were these three ninjas and a blue monkey and well it really wasn't my fault..'
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    Breastfeeding is hard. Even without underlying emotional issues attached to it. My biggest regret as a mother is not trying harder to BF.

    TBH I don't have any advice to give you really. Have you or have you considered counselling specifically about the problems you have with breastfeeding? Sorry I am not implying you haven't had counselling for your trauma, just wanted to see if its something you might think would help

    If I have another bub I have sworn that DH will be on kiddy duty for atleast the first week or two so that I can spend that whole time in bed with the new bubba getting my head around breastfeeding without the stress of housework, entertaining kids etc. Is that something you may be able to do?

    Also having someone who knows what they are doing with BFing around to help you out could be a huge help. If we do have another bub (ever, doubt it but who knows) I would organise to have my doula come out and support me through learning to breastfeed so that I didn't feel alone and overwhelmed.

    I think at the end of the day though just take it easy on yourself, as long as you know you have done your very best then that is all that matters. Good luck on the journey to a new bub

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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    Can you perhaps try some counselling or similar treatment to help you deal with those issues, if for no other reason than your own peace of mind? I hate the thought of anyone hating part of themselves when they have done nothing to deserve that
    Absolutely this. I'm so sorry for what you have endured

    Something that helped me was to have small goals and whenever I wanted to stop, I'd tell myself one more week and then reassess.

    Also surround yourself with positive support. Go to ABA meeting before the birth and try and find an LC that has experience with breastfeeding post abuse.

    Go gently and be kind to yourself - best of luck

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    Atropos  (23-05-2013)

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    Best bf advice: be prepared to feed for hours in the beginning. Look up cluster feeding. Make lactation cookies because they are delicious. Have a decent pump available to you. Have hydrogel discs on hand, and lansinoh. Drink lots of water. Have a feeding pillow like a milk bar.be kind to yourself and let your H do all the cooking and housework in the beginning

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    steel magnolia  (23-05-2013)

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    As others have said maybe consider counseling for your emotional issues.

    Seek the advice of a LC that you feel comfortable with, they will help with latching on and give you tips. It took 5 days in hospital before I could successfully latch on DD1 by myself, 8 yrs later & DD2 came along, she didn't need any help. Every baby is different, all you can do is give it a go.

    Although bf'ing is natural, it's not easy and is a learned skill. If you can over come your issues it is a wonderful experience.

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    I did get counselling years ago re the abuse, but it did little to reverse my view of my breasts.

    I had a really bad case of PND after DD too, and i suspect that the BFing issues contributed to that.

    Excuse my ignorance, but what are lactation cookies?? What is in them?

    PS, @VicPark: I do realise they are not intended for sexual purposes. And yet, mine were used for that, against my will. I dont know how "old" you are, but in the 20 years since it happened i havent been able to get my head past that misuse.

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    Atropos  (24-05-2013),Theophania  (24-05-2013)

  14. #10
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    Lactation boosting cookies - http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/f...osting-Cookies

    They help boost supply.

    I have not been in your situation but I'll give you any support you need. Would pumping be an option?

    I came across this and I don't know if it helps at all?
    http://www.secasa.com.au/pages/breas...-sexual-abuse/

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    steel magnolia  (23-05-2013)


 

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