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  1. #421
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    Kiwi you are a brave, strong woman and cairo's legacy will be that you taught all of us to value each second our pregnancies and our journeys and now, for me, my child. Thank you.
    I am heartbroken for you and your DH. I wish no one ever had to go through what you did. Please stay in touch and let us know when/if you decide to try again so we can support you the way you have supported us.

    Sending you love and strength xx

  2. #422
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    Kiwi, words seem so inadequate at this time. I'm so sad that you, your DH and families have had to endure such heartbreak after such a journey. Thinking of you both and your little angel Cairo xx

  3. #423
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    Dear Kiwi, I'm sooooo very sorry for your dramatic event. Words can't describe it. I hope one day you can see him shine over you. You must be a truly strong woman, no doubt about that. I will send you my prayers and energy to you and your family for this very difficult time. I hope that you can smile again one day.
    lots of love, hugs and strength xxx

  4. #424
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    Kiwi - I am so sorry to hear about baby Cairo (what a beautiful name)! I am glad that you and DH got to spend some time with him in hospital. I am really sorry that you and DH have had to go through this. I am sure that Cairo knows how much you and your DH loved him and he will forever be a part of your lives. I wish you and your DH all the very best for your future cycles but for now take all the time you need to grieve and know that when you are ready to do all this again, we will be here ready and waiting to support you. Sending you huge hugs during this difficult time .

    Hope

  5. #425
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    Firstly, a warm welcome to the new ladies - one love and still hope. I am sorry that you find yourself here however this is a great place for finding out lots of useful information and support. I hope your time with us will be short.

    B123 and timetoshine - great numbers! Fingers crossed for a smooth and trouble free pregnancy. I know I have said this on facebook already but it is such exciting news that I needed to update Bubhub as well

    Flowers, Sandy and Litefantastic - I wish you all the very best of luck for your current cycles. It sure sounds like you have a great protocol this time Lite - hopefully this is just what you need to get your BFP

    Hope everything is going well for our other pregnant ladies.
    Lissy - hope the bed rest isn't driving you nuts.
    Crofty - are you still on bed rest too?

    It's getting busy in here again - if I have missed anyone I am sorry.

    AFM - unfortunately this cycle was an absolute disaster. Only two eggs collected at EPU and only one fertilised. By day 3 it was all over as our only embryo was behind so our transfer was cancelled. This is the first time we have ever not had a transfer and we are now faced with some difficult decisions to make as to how we will proceed with all of this in the future. I had a couple of down days following the cancellation but am now focusing on the positives in my life and working out a plan for what we will do next. Thanks to all the lovely ladies who have offered support to me during all of this. I wish you all luck wherever you are at in your own journeys to parenthood

    Hope

  6. #426
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    Thank you so much for your beautiful words Hope06. I'm very sorry to hear that you didn't get a chance for a trancfere, but I'm sure you will make the right decision for your next steps.
    If I quickly can tell you about my journey; we stared 2009 for 3 years. Spend heaps of money as you know and were on a rollercoster all the time. We stopped as I thought it want work and I can accept it, but 2 years later I still can't stop thinking about to have a baby one day. Now I'm 42 :-( and the changes are very low. But here I found new hope and we will give it another go. :-)
    hope you can find some peace and make the right decision. Good luck

  7. #427
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    Hey guys been wanting to post for past couple days, been having iPhone app issues, had to contact BH admin. Anyway looks sorted now so will go back and read/respond and give my big update too. xx

  8. #428
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    Firstly I want to pay my respects and tribute to little Cairo, kiwi and family. I cannot begin to fathom your loss, grief and sorrow at this time and I send you every piece of love, healing, and faith that as you said you will have the family you dream of soon, Cairo always being your first child. I promise to do my very best to put aside the small stuff and appreciate every moment I have the blessing of this little life battling on inside of me in honour of Cairo. xxxxxx

  9. #429
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    Reposted from Facebook as have been locked out of BubHub for days...had to uninstall and then reinstall app on iPhone, if anyone else having issues try the same.

    Mammoth post again, so if you've read already pass over. It's FB posts from all week long so will go for pages 😬 but important incase anyone here is interested. Too exhausted to compile posts into 1 so just direct copies, like i said pass over if read already!😬 and don't feel you have to post supportive messages again after all the FB love! unless you really feel like it of course! It's a lot of doubling up, but as explained earlier in this BH thread FB helps us keep track & protocols clear for a complex group of immune gals!

    One important thing I will say at the outset is if you find yourself in a similar situation (emergency in early preg, like before 10 weeks, make sure you go straight to the hospital where your fs who is aware of your potentially radical protocol can treat you, we wasted a lot of time being shunted between hospitals not wanting to touch me for fear of the drugs I was on. Could have just been bad luck/inexperienced ER docs, but just fyi (only reason we went to other hosp 1st was it was closer, but we wasted 2 hrs in process getting to right hosp)....here goes :

    Post 1 - 24/6/13 - Phone about to run out of batt, will update more when I get home. Baby still alive thank god! Rushed to hospital sat night (22/6) with worst pain ever had in life, no bleeding but thought for sure labour/losing baby. Shunted around hospitals, made it to wazza's hospital. Agony all night, even morphine would not knock me out. Appendicitis, all sorts discussed. Scans yest showed massive swollen twisted left ovary, like a tornoquay. Emergency surgery. They tried to save my ovary but wazza said he's only ever seen 4 in 40 yrs as bad as this, was all black and twisted up with my tube, could not untwist it...but they saved our little fighter bear!!! So all that cramping was not just the progesterone, this had been there all along. In hospital recovering. Talk soon xxx

    Post 2 - 25/6 - Hi girls, thanks for all the love. Just been home a couple hrs, they didn't want to release me but just cause I won't take any endone/morphine anymore and tummy incisions very painful as can't afford to vomit anymore as gotta keep IVF pills down (all that heavy stuff makes me vomit, so better to just deal with pain for a few days - just panadeine/panadol combo for me). My god sat/sun were the worst days of pain I have ever lived through. Literally arrived at 1st emergency near mums at Gold Coast and was on all fours in waiting room biting a chair the pain was so extreme, could not walk. They were reluctant to treat me, it was bizarre. After wasting an hour I said to my friend (would you believe parents were in Byron bay for 1 night, hubby at wallabies match for his bday, so best friend baby sitting me!), just take me to wazza's hosp! Was not at all confident at that hosp, so we hopped in car and drove 45mins to Brisbane (drive felt like slow motion urgghhh). Hubby met us at bris hosp. Much better treatment/emergency docs who understood wazza's protocol. But as it was 2am by now had to wait til 8/9am for scan on sunday! Morphine all night which kept making me groggy in head, but no matter dose would not knock me out. Took pain from a 12 out of 10 to maybe a 9 at best. Zero sleep, just vomiting and vomiting every drip of water that went into my body. Never hurled so much in life. Wazza was up Sunshine Coast so all done by phone. After scan showed baby ok, but pain not subsiding/no bleeding other ideas got thrown around. Wazza sent us for urgent appendicitis & ovary scans at 11am Sunday, then when specialist radiographer finally identified my torqued ovary emergency surgery was booked for 2pm. Wazza got the best young specialist surgeon to perform with him (said he hadn't done one in awhile so didn't want to stuff it up!). They tried hard to save my ovary and kept trying to twist it back, but it was so black and twisted round my tube it was gone. Very lucky it didn't turn septic and prove disastrous for me and bub as it was almost a dead organ inside me, and by then the pain stops and the poisoning of your body starts. So eventhough I guess I'm supposed to feel sad to lose my ovary, I don't really feel sad at all as our little bear is still alive and strong! Also I have another ovary, so strangely I feel ok. I think my hubby felt very sad, but I feel like we still have a chance for more kids in the future, 1 ovary can do a lot and if we need other options so be it. I'm alive, our bub is alive, I couldn't ask for more! Maybe I will feel sad one day and I am still in shock, or maybe the gravity of the situation just took away any sadness as my main concern was bub. When I came out of surgery a nurse told me she was sorry they couldn't save my ovary and could I remember my conversation with wazza, which I couldn't. All I wanted to know was bub ok and she couldn't tell me. Said you will have to discuss with doc and no one would give me eye contact, I lost it! I was saying - are you being honest with me?!! You know I've lost my ovary and yet can't tell me if my baby is alive?!! She said she was telling the truth, that wazza would have told my husband/family (parents there too) so when I see hub he will tell me, and I am under anesthetic and need to calm down!! So I had to lie there for 30mins in recovery until they wheeled bed back to my room, where all my families faces were sad/happy and I'm screaming is the baby still alive!!! Yes he was they said!!! (Not sure why i keep saying he lol). They were just sad to tell me about ovary, but it meant little when I knew my baby was safe. Then I started violently hurling from the anesthetic, felt like I broke open all my wounds, big long cut down from belly button where they had to take ovary out, and a few other laparoscopic ones down further on sides. Anyway I need to be lifted to get up at moment, as every bend/cough/fart/you name it absolutely kills!! Lol...I wonder if this will be prep for the c-section i'll be likely to have after all these complications! Doubt I would want any risk factors with natural, plus all these scars not sure about the whole push thing...but long way to go and just praying that this is our last big hurdle to jump (already jumped!). Will do personals in next couple of days, just been dying to tell you all about it as our journeys I feel are so shared and no one understands our challenges like each other. Love to all xxxxxx
    Ps - found in hosp eating crushed ice constantly helps with nausea, so any UTD or poorly feeling girls that's my hot tip for the day! 9+1 today and on scan this morn/and over weekend bub really starting to look like a bub and with little paddle arms a bit of a wave given! very exciting!!

    Post 3 - 25/6 - Ps - Hope (had asked me if bleeding maybe related to ovary issue), not the bleeding, separate issue but have not really bled since last bleed a week ago (a little spotting, so reduced to 40 clexane, and now due to surgery 40 one more week - back up to 60 in a few days). Also talked to dr m Saturday before drama unfolded and he said he has some patients on 80mg so not to be alarmed for 60 being so high. I think the biggest indication was my extreme cramping - back and front, and in retrospect was always over left side. I remember in early early preg being in so much pain doing food shopping at Coles one day that I loaded the food onto conveyor, and needing to crouch on floor while lady put it through until I had to pay. This happened all the time, doubling over in pain and having to crouch down all the time in strange places! But thought 1200 to 1600 progesterone pessaries were to blame! And after multiple IVF procedures I think your pain threshold just goes up and you tolerate much more than the average person, so if anyone has similar symptoms get it checked. In saying that wazza says this could have been months or even years in the making. Always thought I must have severe endo, but docs never found much in there. Apparently the ovary can twist intermittently and twist back, I always thought my back and side aches were cause I was lazy and not doing enough yoga!! Lol...so yeah us IVF girls are pretty tough, but watch out for extremes and don't be afraid to demand checks (an ovary & blood flow around ovary check is far more detailed than a normal ultrasound, that's why no other fs or wazza picked it up, or maybe just on the day they looked it just wasn't twisted?) - I pushed for the scan all through sat night and just knew it was something extremely serious by that stage with the pain level, unfortunately by that stage it was too late to save, but as I said very happy with our outcome.🙏

    Post 4 - 25/6 - **just re-reading above...to clarify hubby felt sad for me about lost ovary, just overwhelmed I think. But now with time we are on same page and just very grateful for bub & i to be well. Emergency surgery on your partner (esp when preg) would be so scary while in the waiting room, almost easier being the one on the table I think! Also when 30 min op turns into a 2 hr op due to complications & removal of ovary all sorts of things would have been going through his poor mind. But we are doing well now, happy to be home, and will get through anything together as a team. xx

    Post 5 - 25/6 - pps - apparently this can be way more prevalent in those who have gone through multiple stims, fertility drugs etc. It's nothing to be alarmed about as it's still very rare, and could be more so from a pre-existing tendency for someone like me anyway and the IVF just aggravated it. But wazza was very sorry he couldn't save the ovary as he wished we had caught it earlier and could have saved it. So just wanting to share the info to not feel like you are being paranoid for asking questions when you are feeling lots of pain or strange things, I actually thought it was terrible wind during day and was kind of embarrassed to call anyone until the pain skyrocketed later in the night!

    Post 5 - 29/6 - One more bizarre thing I didn't mention about that 1st hospital I went to...the young emergency doc on that evening told me as he was scared of my radical protocol that he didn't know what my tolerance of morphine would be (as wazza had me on valium to keep uterus calm after massive bleed earlier in week) and that if I stopped breathing he was the only doc in the hospital that could put a tube down my throat to save me!!! Like I could just die on the table that night! Can you imagine saying that to someone in agony, terrified of miscarrying, clearly needing pain relief that you are not that confident to be able to save their life??!! And they wouldn't even give me an ambulance to transport me to brisbane as he said I only needed pain relief which was not high priority enough, even though I was willing to pay anything to go by ambulance. It was so insane, so we hightailed it out of there by car. He gave me an anti-cramping injection in the leg to try to help, which helped a little for the 1hr drive to Brisbane. He actually suspected my ovary was twisted or something similar so I don't want to totally diss him, but said once he administered morphine he had to keep me overnight, so we just took off in the car. Talk about insane. So although a part of me wants to write a letter of complaint I couldn't care less now as it was all for best (and he was right about ovary, and it was best I got to wazza), and glad he was honest with me about his confidence levels, but holy shiz...what type of hospital leaves one doc in charge with that type of experience/confidence?? When I got to wazza's hosp they said it was the most ridiculous thing they had ever heard. If they gave too much morphine there are drugs to reverse it and you are monitored constantly, you're in a hospital for god's sake!! All's well that ends well I guess...that's all that matters now👍
    Last edited by lissyloulou; 29-06-2013 at 14:48.

  10. #430
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    Oh my goodness, lissyloulou, you could write a book. You have had truly a lot of action and bad experience. I'm so glad to hear, that you still have a strong baby with you. I hope you can have a peaceful and relaxed pregnancy now.
    i just wonder if you could tell me how I could get onto the Facebook group? Is that the same group as here.
    Thanks a lot and a happy and strong pregnancy

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to StillHope For This Useful Post:

    lissyloulou  (30-06-2013)


 

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