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  1. #21
    Zombie_eyes's Avatar
    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Pmsl At exploded sprite guts

    Ummm im pretty sure ive lied about stuff (santa) etc

    But with both of the boys on the spectrum they believe something and then its very very hard to get them to change their minds about it. So a lie could end up disastrous in this house depending on what it is.


    They need to be set straight. So they just get told no and i deal with the horror that follows. In the hopes that one day when they are big they wont raise an eyelid when something doesn't go their way.


    There was this time tho we told ds#1 that dh was in a movie (because he looks very very similar to a character from a movie) andddd he believed it and Then we felt slack so told him the truth but he didn't believe it lol so kept on thinking dh was a moviestar and then started quizzing us about where the money is (from the movie) hahah. Now he is older he sometimes forgets it was a lie and brings it up and gets really cut when we remind him we lied.


    Moral of the story? Lies are bad mmmkay


    Braiiiiins
    *60kilos lost*

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    peanutmonkey  (21-05-2013)

  3. #22
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    Not all the time, but 'those' days were hes worn me down to the point of exhaustion, yes, a little white lie gets told!

    Also many toys loud toys in our house are 'broken'...

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    I don't (can't really) as DS1 has an amazing memory and would call me on it if I did. He's one of the people that will say "remember last week you said if I did xyz, I'd get abc the next time we...". Learnt the hard way to either follow through or deal with the consequences!

  5. #24
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    Witwicky is offline A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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    I have lied about some things - silly things like "We don't have any icecream left". I teach them to cope with disappointment, however there are times when I like to pick my battles. If I have had a rough day and I can't face the thought of another tantrum, I will tell a little fib. It's very important to me that I gain my children's trust though, so I try to avoid it, and I would NEVER tell them that we are going somewhere later if I have no intention of taking them. Trust is just as important in a child/parent relationship as any other (if not more important), and to kids, the little things are big things.

    I definitely bribe them all the time though.

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    TimeForWine  (25-05-2013)

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    Quote Originally Posted by HarvestMoon View Post
    I just though of a lie i told which may horrify some. When DS1 was much younger he became obsessed with wanting soft drink. Every time we went to the shop he would demand it and have tantrums over it but i'm very anti soft drinks, particularly for young children.
    So one day when lined up at the checkout at the supermarket he asked for a bottle of sprite. I told him all about the story i read in the newspaper about the kid who drank sprite, whose stomach exploded as a result. It turned out scientist had discovered soft drinks were not safe for children under 12.

    He didn't ask for soft drink for a very long time after that! So i think, sometimes a little lie here and there is just worth it!
    That reminded me of a friend of mine who tells her children all about the sharks in the ocean to scare them from going past their knees or how bad men want to take them to stop them from wandering off (not far from the truth but that's another story) but she is a single Mum of 4 young kids that can run a bit wild at times and it works for her

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    I had a rough day with my 2 cranky sick toddlers today, I would of told them just about anything to get them to stop their synchronised tantrums this afternoon. Never been so glad to see the end of the day... They are finally asleep and Ian trying to find some sort of alcohol to calm my nerves. I have one beer and some left over wine that smells like vinegar which I'm just going to hold my nose and scull...

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    One time when DS1 was a baby and had a head cold plus teething I was up all night with him, I think I only just got him down at 5ish and DD who was 2 at the time came in at 6 (only time she has ever been up early just my luck) to get me up and I really didn't want to get up and it was over cast outside so I opened the curtain a little and said "see it is still night time hop in with Mummy and go back sleep" well she fell for it and I got another blissful 2 hours sleep.

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    Quote Originally Posted by loodle View Post
    One time when DS1 was a baby and had a head cold plus teething I was up all night with him, I think I only just got him down at 5ish and DD who was 2 at the time came in at 6 (only time she has ever been up early just my luck) to get me up and I really didn't want to get up and it was over cast outside so I opened the curtain a little and said "see it is still night time hop in with Mummy and go back sleep" well she fell for it and I got another blissful 2 hours sleep.
    Well done!

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    Well my children think their grandmother is so awesome and never says no to anything. I have realised that she is (after 5 children of her own) the master of never answering straight.
    The kids say can we go to the park today and she would say, ooh the park, you love it there don't you?, what's your favourite thing to do there? ...oh let's water the plants, here can you get the watering can....blah blah. She has the art of distraction down pat. Always super pleasant and answers: maybe, we will see etc and moves on changing the subject. Of course sometimes they do end up going where they want and they are just used to her doing this for every conversation. I have taken a leaf out of her book.
    She even does it to adults and is a pro. I ask something then later realise she never actually answered me. Super annoying actually as I realise my husband does it to and now I say, don't answer my question with a a question!

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    No, I need them to trust me and know when i say something I mean it. I also never threaten or promise anything I am not going to follow through on. They know when i say it, i mean it.

    Case in point DS was 2 and was throwing a massive tanty about leaving the park. He had done so in the past and I had always said "leave nicely or we won't come back" and he had always calmed down. However, this day...he didn't and just amped up and up so i did the walk of shame with the kicking and screaming child. We NEVER went back to that park...not ever...and it was a damn good one lol We drove past it once a week or so and he often asked if he could go and i always reminded him why we didn't go there. We went to lots of other parks...

    On the opposite side...one day i told DD we could go to the park on the way home from dropping DS at school and I forgot (bad sleep deprived moment) and she realised we were turning into our street and had not stopped. As soon as she raised it...i turned the car around and went back to the park. A promise is a promise and needs to be kept unless there are extremely good reasons as to why.

    We do Santa and Easter bunny...but they are never used as a threat or punishment...if i want to get them to do the right thing, they do it for me...not because of some "fantasy creature" and the risk of not getting a present. I also don't ever want it looking like rich kids are "better" than them/us. ie I don't want the correlation of those who get more presents are better people. We celebrate the spirit of christmas and the values of giving and receiving and love and family.

    It might seem extreme...but, to me it is really important that they trust me and that I lead by example. How can i ask for them to keep their word and not lie if i lie to them.


 

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