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  1. #1
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    Default Vent about competitive parents!

    I have a friend who had a son in February & I have just had my little boy 2 weeks ago...

    Everytime I post something on Facebook about my son, my friend comments on it & makes it about her son!

    When I gave birth, I got to the hospital at around 10-10:30 & had my son at 3:50 that day.... My partner put on my Facebook that I was in active labour for 6 hours... (Which it was actually probably less - because I was completely closed when I got to hospital & they wanted to send me home) ... And she put a status on Facebook saying 'reading all these labour times on Facebook and I was one of the silly ones who said my labour was 13 hours cause I went from the time I got to hospital. My labour was so short if you only say your active labour'

    Which I think was a direct dig at me... Because why else would she still be talking about her labour 3 months later?? She then turned around & said her active labour was only 5 hours.. Lol. I don't know why she's trying to compete with labour times... It's not like any woman has control over how her body labours & every woman is different.. It's pointless to try and compare.

    I can't handle her competitiveness... I don't know how to deal with it. It's like everything I say she has to be better... And I don't talk to her about anything cause I can't handle the competition.. But she goes out of her way to ask me questions about my son.. And so I just answer them to be polite. But even my friends have started sending me messages as they have noticed her commenting on everything of mine and making it about her son.

    She annoys me because she lies too. I asked her what labour was like while I was pregnant and she said it 'wasn't painful, was just uncomfortable'.. Meanwhile her friend told me that she was screaming for drugs the moment she got there. Why would you be screaming for drugs if it was just uncomfortable?? She also had a pethedine shot, which I know midwives try to delay as it is a narcotic... She then asked me if I was planning on giving my son a dummy - which I am very strongly against .. But I know her son has one cause its always in the pictures she puts up, so I just said no, they aren't for me.. And I didn't get into how much I don't like them, so I didn't offend her.. She then proceeded to tell me her son doesn't need one ... She just gave him one cause 'she likes them'... I don't know why you would introduce a dummy if its not needed?? She gave up breast feeding on day 3... Yet said she had no issues breast feeding and that it was easy. Why would you give up breast feeding if it was easy ?? Our mutual friend then told me that she had lots of issues breast feeding. It's like she tries to make out like everything is perfect to rub it in my face... But it doesn't work cause none of her stories add up!

    I had an entirely drug free labour.. Did not even have gas.. And she kept questioning me about it and saying she's never met anyone to have a drug free labour... It was like she thought I was lying.

    I just can't handle it! I try to avoid talking to her because I don't like telling her things for her to try and out do me. This may seem so petty but grrrrr I just needed to vent.
    Does anyone have any ideas on how to deal with it??

    Please feel free to vent about similar situations!! I would love to know I'm not the only one.

  2. #2
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    Zombie_eyes is offline Formerly Diamondeyes
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    Block and delete lol.

    I frel so annoyed and frustrated at just reading all of that. If u dint want to talk to her, cut ties. So much easier than putting up with this for another 6 months and then snapping lol


    Perhaps she is struggling but trying to put on a fake front to u who seems to be doing better?


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    block her for a while.

    eta - same as what ZE said about the covering up the fact that she is struggling

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    Me and my sister are like this sometimes (are kids are only 5weeks apart) but we don't lie and make things up.

    With us it's not being mean but trying to help each other out cause we think we each know more than each other . (Her sons older but I have more childcare experience.)

    This women sounds like an attention seeker. If it annoys you so much just delete her.

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    Yeh i agree. I was frustrated for you reading that. Either delete her, or if you feel you cant, put her on restricted so she still thinks she is your friend, but cant see you posts. Then occasionally let her see a mundane post about nothing important so she doesnt know.

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    I call these people 'one uppers' everything you talk about they have to beat it. I know many people like this and usually I just ignore it.

    I would probably make a joke like "it's not a race!" and hopes she gets the message.

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    jagamoe  (20-05-2013)

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    I know.. I have been very tempted to block and delete her but she is my partners best friends fiancées best friend.. Lol. And I don't want to cause drama for my partner, because she would whine to her best friend & then she would tell her fiancée & then it would get back to my partner ... I'm just trying to keep the peace by being nice.

    She asked me to catch up so she could meet my son.. But I couldn't bare it.. Can you imagine what the conversation would be like?? It would be like an interrogation of how my son is going & then I would have to listen to how much better her son is going.

    My little genius rolled over today at 2 weeks (which I'm really proud of).. But I didn't go rubbing it in her face like I'm sure she would have done.

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    Is most of this over fb? when you post about your son instead of sharing it with friends or public or whatever share with friends except her. You are still friends with her but she can't see things you post where you do this. I do it to someone that comments on EVERYTHING of mine about something totally different to the post but can't really delete her as her hubby is friends with mine.

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    I do feel for you. But I am different than most people I don't put anything on facebook unless sent via a pm to someone so only 2 pics are there. But yes avoid her as much as possible you don't need any of this menial stuff. Parents don't get handbooks when they have children unfortunately.

  12. #10
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    Yeah a lot of it is on Facebook & she also personal messages me nearly everyday to interrogate me as well lol... And it's not good now that Facebook has the read receipts, so she can see if I'm ignoring her lol. But I'll have a play around with my privacy settings tomorrow & hide her from seeing my stuff.


 

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