I just wanted to update for anyone in the future who might stumble across this thread looking for help/advice.
After my last post I decided I didn't want to take medication. I thought I could control my anxiety on my own through diet, vitamins and a whole load of extra effort. I was so petrified that I would fall pregnant on them and they would hurt the baby or that I would suffer bad side effects. I felt like I just needed to try harder to control my mind.
This worked for about a week. Then I became so exhausted from the constant effort it took to be happy. I had to be alert to my thoughts constantly and fighting off the irrational thinking was a job in itself. Eventually I ran out of stamina. Anxiety hit hard. I couldn't control it anymore I had no reserves left to deal with the everyday stresses life threw at me.
So I had another discussion with my dr who assured me all my reasons for not taking the medication was simply my anxiety talking. She also helped me to see that my body and mind need a break from all the anxiety and stress I have suffered and that I have no coping mechanisms left to get me through everyday challenges.
So today I took my first tablet. I was scared, I almost expected to have a reaction then and there but I didn't. I am looking forward to the day, hopefully in the near future, where the anxiety and irrational thoughts have quietened down. This is the best decision for me and I feel like I'm doing the right thing by my family by helping myself.