+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 27
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    205
    Thanks
    170
    Thanked
    110
    Reviews
    0

    Default How to get through the day?? Anxious.

    My baby died at 20 weeks a couple of months ago. Since then I have had such bad anxiety. In the beginning it was extreme I felt like I couldn't function and the thoughts in my head would never turn off it was like torture. The last month or so I have felt in control of it. Still with irrational thoughts but I could manage to let logic overcome them. Well today it has come back full force. I can not function. I am just a mess crying because I am sick of all of this pain when will it ever end?! I am yelling at my kids because I do not have the head space for them right now. I have no support no one to come and help. I am a mess. I feel so stupid that this is the only place I can ask for help or vent. I feel like such a loser that I have no one in my life who is there for me (other than my husband but he is always at work). I don't know how I am going to get through the day. I am seeing a psychologist but my appointment isn't for another 2 weeks. I just need to get through today but all I want to do is lay down and cry. I feel so embarrassed laying all my emotions out for the world to see I just don't know what to do.
    Last edited by Whoknows; 20-05-2013 at 15:25.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    8,544
    Thanks
    1,351
    Thanked
    2,307
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Can you ring lifeline or see your gp?

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to sunnyflower For This Useful Post:

    MilkingMaid  (01-07-2013)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    172
    Thanks
    729
    Thanked
    87
    Reviews
    0
    I'm so sorry for what you've had to go through. I hope you find some support soon.
    Have you looked into whether there are any support groups in your area for parents who suffered the loss of a child. I have a friend who stress one and the support from the other parents is what gets her through some days, it sounds like this could be beneficial for you.
    I hope you get through this, reach out your husband, he might just be burying his head in the sand.
    *hugs*

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    205
    Thanks
    170
    Thanked
    110
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyflower View Post
    Can you ring lifeline or see your gp?
    First of all thank you for replying.
    I have called a helpline previously and to be honest haven't found them very helpful. Also I usually have one of my kids at my heels so its hard to have a conversation.
    I have seen my gp she is the one that referred me to the psychologist. I am thinking about going back to see her to let her know I am starting to feel worse again. In all honesty I'm not sure what she can do to help, I feel like I'm a hopeless case 😞.

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    205
    Thanks
    170
    Thanked
    110
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by VanityFey View Post
    I'm so sorry for what you've had to go through. I hope you find some support soon.
    Have you looked into whether there are any support groups in your area for parents who suffered the loss of a child. I have a friend who stress one and the support from the other parents is what gets her through some days, it sounds like this could be beneficial for you.
    I hope you get through this, reach out your husband, he might just be burying his head in the sand.
    *hugs*

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Thanks for your reply.
    I have looked into support groups and I know there is one near me. I do think it would be helpful I guess I have avoided it because I almost feel like my daughter was stillborn at 20 weeks but there will be people there who's bubs were born sleeping full term or who died of cot death and who am I to complain about my problems to them? I know it sounds stupid and no one would ever think that way. I think also I worry about taking my kids there like if they mucked up or something I would feel embarrassed. Maybe I should just make myself go you just never know until you try right?
    I have talked to hubby he is fantastic I can't believe how supportive and kind he is. The fact is but he works such long hours its just impossible for him to be here for me. This is also why I can't see my psychologist for another two weeks because I can never get anyone to watch my kids for me.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    618
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    98
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Call your local child health nurse. Mine was so helpful when I had some issues recently. She had me a referral to a psych in 4 hours... Then the psych called me that day and booked an appt for the next day.

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    618
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    98
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    My psych said I could bring kids...I didn't but there was a play/drawing area. Was a specialist in grief, trauma and childbirth...( sorry can't think of exact word right now) it was a private service but if I had a mental health plan from gp it was free. Or call women's hospital and ask to speak to a social worker.

  9. #8
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Posts
    205
    Thanks
    170
    Thanked
    110
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by heymegz View Post
    Call your local child health nurse. Mine was so helpful when I had some issues recently. She had me a referral to a psych in 4 hours... Then the psych called me that day and booked an appt for the next day.
    Thanks for the advice. I am feeling a bit calmer now and hopefully don't have another meltdown before my next appointment with my psychologist but if I do will remember about the CHN services.

  10. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    172
    Thanks
    729
    Thanked
    87
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Whoknows View Post
    Thanks for your reply.
    I have looked into support groups and I know there is one near me. I do think it would be helpful I guess I have avoided it because I almost feel like my daughter was stillborn at 20 weeks but there will be people there who's bubs were born sleeping full term or who died of cot death and who am I to complain about my problems to them? I know it sounds stupid and no one would ever think that way. I think also I worry about taking my kids there like if they mucked up or something I would feel embarrassed. Maybe I should just make myself go you just never know until you try right?
    I have talked to hubby he is fantastic I can't believe how supportive and kind he is. The fact is but he works such long hours its just impossible for him to be here for me. This is also why I can't see my psychologist for another two weeks because I can never get anyone to watch my kids for me.
    I understand your concerns with attending this group. The mental aspect to get yourself through those doors is incredibly challenging, but I think you would find immense support there.

    If your uncertain about taking your kids with you, maybe call the leader of the organization/group and see if they have a play area or even a separate book to keep your kids busy while you have your "healing" time.

    As for whether your grief and loss is greater or lesser then anothers, (and this is just my opinion) I think losing a child, whether they are four months, four years or forty, is equally hard on every family. So don't ps3 down your grief, its cry important you look after yourself. I'm glad to hear your husband is being as supportive as possible, and your feeling a little better now.

    Please always post or update if you need to get it out. There are some amazing, supportive posters on here.
    *hugs*
    Sent from my GT-I9100 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to VanityFey For This Useful Post:

    Dosia  (11-06-2013),Whoknows  (20-05-2013)

  12. #10
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Brisbane
    Posts
    3,202
    Thanks
    1,702
    Thanked
    2,424
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I suffered bad PND and anxiety after the birth of my dd. Some of my tips for getting through the day are...
    *live in the moment (forget about the future, forget about the past, just live in the here and now)
    *enjoy and bask in simple things and appreciate what you have and what's around you (beautiful sunsets, flowers, smiles of your kids)
    *set small achievable goals like having a shower, visiting a park etc
    *realise your triggers and understand the true nature of your feelings.

    good luck. It's a horrible and defeating illness but you can overcome it. Xx

  13. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to RipperRita For This Useful Post:

    VanityFey  (20-05-2013),Whoknows  (20-05-2013)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Help - really anxious!!
    By heartstringz in forum Anxiety & Panic Disorders
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 05-05-2013, 14:08
  2. Anxious- Mum and Dad are.....
    By SimplyMum in forum Family & Friends
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 06-09-2012, 07:28
  3. Anxious
    By janeydee in forum Pregnancy Tests & Help / Support with Results
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 10-07-2012, 14:00

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Bamboo Lulu
Unique, non-toxic wooden eco toys for babies. Water-based paints, saliva-resistant & baby safe. Super soft, prints & basics for baby, made from bamboo & organic cotton. Hypoallergenic - great for eczema relief. FREE gift with purchase. Code BUBHUB
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
Wendys Music School
Wendy’s Music School. Experience, Quality and great service! For qualifying students we will get you playing or singing your favourite music in 90 days GUARANTEED! Book a free assessment online now!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!