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  1. #1
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    Default discipline for a 4 and 6 1/2 yr old

    Hi!

    I have a 6 yr old ds, 4 yr old ds and a nearly 2 yr old dd.
    Lately I feel I have lost my way when it comes to discipline. I have always been good at following through on threats but am finding it hard to find a punishment to suit my 4 and 6 yr olds. I use to do naughty corner but that dosent seem to work anymore and a friend suggested sending them to bed 15 mins early which they hate but ilost ony 4 yr old when he had done something in the morning and then is punished is at bedtime. They are not really naughty but mornings at the moment are a awful as my 6yr old answers back or gets really stroppy when asked to do something tho he does usually do it and my 4 yr old has to be asked 5 times before he does anything.
    I know consistency is the key and which is lacking at the moment but I'm just not sure which way to go.
    I'm turning into the mum that just shouts all the time and I hate it any ideas?

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    No TV?

    I remember that was THE WORST punishment as a kid... because I loved TV, and going to be early sucks, but it's worse to be up until normal bedtime but without the ability to watch anything on TV.

    I just ban stuff. It seems to work here. No TV is always a good one.

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    Maybe withdrawal of privileges? TV could be one but it could be a favourite toy or activity.

    At the same time, can you try a reward for good behavior too? So if they get ready in the morning without any hassles they get a sticker and when they have enough stickers they can have a little treat?

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    Yeah I ban tv which works for ds1 but dosent bother ds2. Yeah reward chart is good, I just wonder how many stickers they need to get before a treat. What is a reasonable number?

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    I downloaded a chart of the net. It has like 10 stickers (or hand drawn smile faces in our case) and then a small prize and then 3 lots of 10 stickers and a bigger prize. So I have a small thing of girly stationary from Kmart and they are the small prize. The grand prize at the end is something from Book Club at school (that was what they wanted to work towards).

    ETA my children at nearly 6 and nearly 9 and I keep the chart on the fridge so they are reminded of it when ever they walk past.

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    I also second the recommendation to focus on rewarding the good behaviour and they're both at the sticker chart age.

    I'd got a bit lax with using DDs and her behaviour was slipping, pushing boundaries, not following instructions, throwing a strop etc. So I'm making a big extra effort again to notice and reward the right behaviour, also explaining again and again what behaviour I expect for a sticker. I really need to get DD doing all those things independently that I know she can (getting dressed, breakfast, brushing teeth etc) before bub comes!!

    It works so well, just 2 days into being re-motivated and I got up in the morning, she would not let me into her room, then appeared fully dressed in her uniform, hair brushed etc - ready and smiling for her sticker!

    The other great thing is it means when you're out shopping and they are nagging you to buy something you can agree, but say it goes in the sticker chart box - DD is even more motivated when the prizes are things she's chosen herself.

  7. #7
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    You know you children better than anyone so you should be able to create consequences based on that child. Some don't care if they can't watch tv, but would react if you remove a toy. You said yourself consistency has been lacking, so you know the answers. Reward charts only get you so far, consequences and consistency is the key.


 

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