+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 22
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    341
    Thanks
    41
    Thanked
    37
    Reviews
    0

    Default Ex is driving me insane!

    This is a long rant, as I'm so worried I have no idea what to do anymore! So ex was having DS every Wednesday and every second Saturday and Sunday only during the day. But about three weeks ago he couldn't have him on the Saturday or Sunday cuz he was going away, that was all fine. Then the Wednesday came and DS woke up sick so he stayed home (he is clingy to me when he is sick and refuses to go to his father) so the other day I get a text from ex abusing me for ruining his life and he is glad he has a daughter on the way, something I didn't give him! I didn't reply cuz I wasn't in the mood for arguing so then I get another one saying he knows I'm pregnant and I only got pregnant cuz they are having a baby. I didn't tell him I was pregnant cuz I'm only 8wks and I knew he would carry on. Apparently my so called friend told him! So then he sends me several other msgs but the that really concerns me is where he says I ruined his life and he will never forgive me and pay back is coming. So I told him that he wasn't to see DS until we went back to mediation so now he is still texting me saying im the blame that his gf has left him so he is going to commit suicide and leave a note saying I'm to blame and that I'll have to explain it to his two sons and daughter.
    I'm actually too scared to stay at my house cuz he knows where I live and I have seen him drive past a few times (we don't do pick ups and drop offs at each others house, we meet at a local shopping center, well that's when he was seeing DS) so I've been staying at my parents house. He is obviously unstable I have no idea what he is capable of. I refuse to let him have DS as I'm so scared he will do something to him to get back at me!

    I know this post may be confusing and not make any sense, I just needed to get it off my chest

  2. #2
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Belgrave
    Posts
    1,086
    Thanks
    7
    Thanked
    356
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Document everything, drive bys, calls texts, dates, times.
    Keep all texts and don't answer unless someone is there to hear what he says.
    Get a lawyer. Have mediation.

  3. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Nazgul For This Useful Post:

    free_babe5  (11-06-2013),oozzle  (11-06-2013),Twoalready  (18-05-2013),~BEXTER~  (11-06-2013)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    341
    Thanks
    41
    Thanked
    37
    Reviews
    0
    We did go to mediation. They told us if we had anymore issues to go to relationships Australia so I'm going there on Tuesday. I've kept all my text messages and facebook inboxes. He sent me a text last night saying DS was no child of his and he doesn't want his name on the birth certificate. He obviously needs professional help or something!

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    8,245
    Thanks
    1,772
    Thanked
    2,017
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - Most posts for the week ended 19/6/2014
    I agree with Nazgul. Document absolutely everything. Screen shot all messages, keep a diary of events- include date, time, exactly what happened.
    Have you spoken to the police about his behaviour?
    Maybe contact legal aid or a lawyer for advice?

  6. #5
    LifeInShadesOfGrey's Avatar
    LifeInShadesOfGrey is offline Just a little bit silly :)
    Winner 2012 - Best Username
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    5,672
    Thanks
    2,052
    Thanked
    1,364
    Reviews
    35
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Nazgul View Post
    Document everything, drive bys, calls texts, dates, times.
    Keep all texts and don't answer unless someone is there to hear what he says.
    Get a lawyer. Have mediation.
    Yeah I agree, keep absolutely everything. If you fear for the safety of you and your child just continue to stay away from home for now. He sounds like he needs serious help.

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    341
    Thanks
    41
    Thanked
    37
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by HarvestMoon View Post
    I agree with Nazgul. Document absolutely everything. Screen shot all messages, keep a diary of events- include date, time, exactly what happened.
    Have you spoken to the police about his behaviour?
    Maybe contact legal aid or a lawyer for advice?

    When we split up I did have a pfvo out on him because he held a knife to my throat while I was holding DS who was 5months old at the time. We went I think about a year with no contact then he got in contact with me when he first got with this new gf and I seriously thought he had changed - stupid of me I know!

  8. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Posts
    8,245
    Thanks
    1,772
    Thanked
    2,017
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - Most posts for the week ended 19/6/2014
    I would look at reinstating that DVO/AVO for your own safety. He sounds awfully unstable-I don't think visitations with your DS are suitable unless it's appropriately supervised.
    I really think some legal advice should be high on the list of priorities atm. If you are too scared to remain in your home, something needs to be done!

    I hope you get it sorted out, it's a really sucky situation to be in!

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to HarvestMoon For This Useful Post:

    oozzle  (11-06-2013)

  10. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1,779
    Thanks
    327
    Thanked
    940
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Go and get some free legal advice from your local community legal centre before doing anymore mediation.

    I do not know the facts of your case so this is information only, but in your type of situation I tell clients not to do mediation and to just let the matter drop.

    At the moment you effectively get to call the shots re the father spending time with the children as they are living with you and not spending much time with him (which seems to be his choice). If he does not want to follow your terms you can cancel all visits.

    Then you sit back and do nothing until he initiates mediation and/or court action.

    The risk you take by initiating mediation/court action first is that he may end up with more time with the children then you would like.

    If he starts action you can respond, there is no such thing as 'first in best dressed' with the family court.

    There is no law that people have to have parenting orders, which some people seem to think there is.

    Of course if you want to mediate and formalise arrangements then go for it, but either way you should get some legal advice first.

  11. The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to MsTruth For This Useful Post:

    free_babe5  (11-06-2013),oozzle  (11-06-2013),sarz2009  (18-05-2013),spoon  (12-06-2013)

  12. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    341
    Thanks
    41
    Thanked
    37
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by MsTruth View Post
    Go and get some free legal advice from your local community legal centre before doing anymore mediation.

    I do not know the facts of your case so this is information only, but in your type of situation I tell clients not to do mediation and to just let the matter drop.

    At the moment you effectively get to call the shots re the father spending time with the children as they are living with you and not spending much time with him (which seems to be his choice). If he does not want to follow your terms you can cancel all visits.

    Then you sit back and do nothing until he initiates mediation and/or court action.

    The risk you take by initiating mediation/court action first is that he may end up with more time with the children then you would like.

    If he starts action you can respond, there is no such thing as 'first in best dressed' with the family court.

    There is no law that people have to have parenting orders, which some people seem to think there is.

    Of course if you want to mediate and formalise arrangements then go for it, but either way you should get some legal advice first.
    Thanks for you advice. I was just going to go to relationships aus like the mediator told me because I didn't want him to go to his lawyer and say I haven't kept the arrangement that was in place

    <3 A Daughter Will Hold Your Hand For A Little While, But Will Hold Your Heart Forever <3

  13. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    1,779
    Thanks
    327
    Thanked
    940
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    If you do not have your own lawyer then definitely go get some advice.

    There are a couple of options in your situation re the mediation so it would benefit you if you were able to get advice before the next session.


 

Similar Threads

  1. arghhh driving me insane
    By MonkeySeeMonkeyDo in forum General Chat
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 24-10-2012, 15:49
  2. Going insane GAH!
    By Bonkers in forum Discipline & behaviour
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 30-07-2012, 15:28
  3. Husband drunk and driving me insane arghhh
    By roz2288 in forum Family & Friends
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 21-05-2012, 12:38

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Babybee Prams
Save $50 in our pre-Christmas sale! All Comet's now only $500. Our bassinet & stroller set includes free shipping AUS wide, $75 free accessories, 18-months warranty & a 9 month free return policy. Check out our new designer range today!
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
The Fix Program Sydney CBD and Broadway
Pregnancy and women's health physio, pregnancy and new mum Pilates classes taught by our physios for you and bub. Pregnancy back and pelvic pain. Also, we treat postnatal and women of all ages. Incontinence, prolapse, sexual and pelvic pain.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!