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  1. #11
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    When I left my XDP (whom was not DS bio dad but he had never met his bio dad and although he knew XDP wasn't his real dad- he used to call him Dad), I explained that XDP and I thought we'd be much better friends if we lived in seperate houses. We could still see XDP but it might not be as often because taking care of a house can be a lot of work and now we were both taking care of a house each. I didn't really mention DS or say it was anyone's fault. I felt it was irrelevent to the situation.

  2. #12
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    Ok I need more advice, I found out dp lied to me about something pretty bad and basically tried to put a wedge between my sister and I (which he says he didn't try to do but when he tells me if I go visit them he will leave me I think differently) and now, even though he says he isn't, he's making me feel guilty for us being in a bad situation again! I don't know how to tell him in leaving even though he basically would hVe a feeling I'm leaving. Does anyone have any tips on what I can say to him? It's all about trust and he lied to me an continued that lie for nearly a year so that trust has gone! Any ideas would be helpful. Thanks.

  3. #13
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    I didn't tell my ex I was leaving.. we just packed up and left while he was at work. Moved straight into a new rental. We'd been living such separate lives for such a long time. Hadn't slept in the same bed since I fell pregnant- DS was 8 months old when I left. He had already moved on so I didn't really feel I had to tell him I was going. The fact that he owned the house all on his own before we got together made it a little easier to go.

  4. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by MummysYellowCar View Post
    I didn't tell my ex I was leaving.. we just packed up and left while he was at work. Moved straight into a new rental. We'd been living such separate lives for such a long time. Hadn't slept in the same bed since I fell pregnant- DS was 8 months old when I left. He had already moved on so I didn't really feel I had to tell him I was going. The fact that he owned the house all on his own before we got together made it a little easier to go.
    I wish I could do that! He works away 2 weeks at a time so would be easy but it would cause so much drama. He owns the house we are in too.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by mum2mj View Post
    I wish I could do that! He works away 2 weeks at a time so would be easy but it would cause so much drama. He owns the house we are in too.
    It did cause drama going down that road. No way was he going to cooperate if I just said 'oh we're moving out'. He wanted to have his us as his 'family' and his dirty little secrets. It made sure we were safely away and in our own new place as he'd always maintained if I left I wasn't taking our son.

    DV is always a consideration and telling him you're leaving is more than likely going to cause a confrontation. Just something to prepare for.


 

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