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  1. #1
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    Default How to teach a 12 month old to self settle?

    Ok ladies, hit me with your tips, tricks and advice on how to start getting my LO to settle. I've "made a rod for my back" (hate that saying!) by relishing in rocking and feeding to sleep. I've enjoyed most of it but feel its time to start teaching him how to do it himself. I'm not a cc fan and he just gets upset if I shh and pat him because he wants to be picked up and held, so what else can I try? Or do I just have to toughen up a bit?

    Era: he sleeps in his own room in a cot and has done so since birth, I bf him for each feed except the last one before bed which is formula, he takes a dummy but won't resettle unless he is given the breast. He wakes up every 1.5-2.5 hours.

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    Last edited by IvyRain; 15-05-2013 at 02:46.

  2. #2
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    Bump for the morning crowd

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    I keep trying to reply but get interrupted by a crazy toddler!!

    I gently weaned DS1 from feeding to resettle (was waking 1-2 hourly overnight for 5 loooong months) when he was around 9 months, and by 12 months he could pretty well self settle. I'm not a CC or CIO fan either.

    I started by feeding at each wake as I usually would, but cutting the feed short before he fell asleep, then would settle by rocking in arms. Once he got used to not feeding to sleep I cut out feeding altogether and just picked up and rocked. Then I moved to rocking until nearly asleep and putting down in his cot and finish settling by patting/ rocking cot. Then I moved to not picking up at all and settling in cot. There was some crying - but I was always with him and if it got to a point where I was uncomfortable I just fed or did whatever to settle and tried again next wake-up. It was a pretty long, slow process, but eventually he was able to settle himself back to sleep when he woke overnight.

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    IvyRain  (15-05-2013)

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    Thanks decemberbubba that sounds like a nice gentle process. Ill give it a go!

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    No worries. Have you read Elizabeth Pantley's 'no cry sleep solution'? I found this book quite helpful, and it isn't a set in stone plan or routine, it gives lots of tips on gently helping bub to sleep better that you can adapt for your own situation. I think she has a book specifically for toddlers too.

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    We used no cry sleep soln as well.

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    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Quote Originally Posted by decemberbubba View Post
    I keep trying to reply but get interrupted by a crazy toddler!!

    I gently weaned DS1 from feeding to resettle (was waking 1-2 hourly overnight for 5 loooong months) when he was around 9 months, and by 12 months he could pretty well self settle. I'm not a CC or CIO fan either.

    I started by feeding at each wake as I usually would, but cutting the feed short before he fell asleep, then would settle by rocking in arms. Once he got used to not feeding to sleep I cut out feeding altogether and just picked up and rocked. Then I moved to rocking until nearly asleep and putting down in his cot and finish settling by patting/ rocking cot. Then I moved to not picking up at all and settling in cot. There was some crying - but I was always with him and if it got to a point where I was uncomfortable I just fed or did whatever to settle and tried again next wake-up. It was a pretty long, slow process, but eventually he was able to settle himself back to sleep when he woke overnight.
    Sorry to interrupt the thread OP, bur I'm having the same prob with my baby but she's younger...
    Can I ask, how can I do something similar for my 9 month old who stands in her cot and cries until I pick her up, even after a feed, being rocked etc? She just will not go into her cot lately at all! Even if I put her down already sleeping, she knows and wakes up the instant I place her in her cot.
    I don't do CC or CIO and don't want to. She used to go back fine after a feed/rock, it's only recently she will only sleep in my bed.

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    My son hated being patted. I started off by sitting by his crib at his eye level, patting the mattress near his head so he could touch my hand if he wanted and singing the same song over and over again.

    It was really emotionally tough for the first couple of days - he would cry and whimper and scream - but I would wait for half an hour, pick him up and cuddle him but stand near the crib, then put him straight back down. After an hour I would pick him up if he was still crying, but that only happened once or twice. Now we just put him down and stay in the room for a while, and he's usually asleep within 20 minutes.

    I should be doing all that at night too, but I cave and feed him when he wakes up, so he has gone a bit backwards there. He wakes twice in the night for a feed, but he's still only seven months, so I don't really mind that. He was sleeping five or six hours for a while there, but he's going through a tricky patch.

    He also has a comforter, which I am not against but some people are. I think it's cute how he holds onto it!

    My biggest challenge is picking up on his tired cues, because it's all so much easier if we get in before he gets overtired, and he's quite unpredictable.

    Good luck, and fwiw I don't believe in rods! You gave your baby what you felt he needed, and he loves and trusts you for it...

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    Quote Originally Posted by ~Marigold~ View Post
    Sorry to interrupt the thread OP, bur I'm having the same prob with my baby but she's younger...
    Can I ask, how can I do something similar for my 9 month old who stands in her cot and cries until I pick her up, even after a feed, being rocked etc? She just will not go into her cot lately at all! Even if I put her down already sleeping, she knows and wakes up the instant I place her in her cot.
    I don't do CC or CIO and don't want to. She used to go back fine after a feed/rock, it's only recently she will only sleep in my bed.
    Has she only just learn't to pull herself up? DS1 went through a phase of standing in his cot each time he woke up when he learn't to pull himself up. By that stage I was up to just settling in cot, so if he wasn't crying or only whinging I would just keep laying him back down until he stayed there. It took ages to get him back to sleep at the start (like I'd have to lay him back down 20+ times), but it got quicker to settle him and after awhile he just stopped standing up. If he was really upset I would pick him up, settle until he stopped crying then back in the cot, and just repeated that until he stayed down and then I patted/ rocked cot off to sleep.

  12. #10
    ~Marigold~'s Avatar
    ~Marigold~ is offline You make me happy, when skies are grey
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    Yes she has just learnt to pull herself up. She still sleeps in our room and she will just stare at us from her cot, her little face peering through the rails... naaww.
    Lol.. so it's very difficult to get her back down now. Last night she spent the entire night in our bed because I just could not get her to settle in her cot. Speaking of which, she is sleeping her cot as I type this, amazingly she didn't stir when I popped her down for her nap after she fell asleep in my arms.


 

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