Rarah11 I'm so very sort for your loss. Are they going to test? Good luck with the D&C tmw, I will think of you x
I fell prego on my 4th OI/IUI cycle, m/c at 7 weeks (missed). Waited for my AF to start IVF and discovered at 6.5 weeks I was prego (again) but from a natural miracle O two weeks post m/c. Seen a healthy heart beat at 7 and 9 weeks then 2nd loss at 11 weeks. WORST TIME EVER!!!
It would be hard enough going through the 5 IVF cycles that you have let alone a loss to find yourself back at square one...I get it and I'm so sorry you're going through this I too am terrified of falling again with another Trisomy baby so even though I don't know which way would be better or worse, I hope your results come back as the least painful way for you. I have no advise as to what helped me through it all apart from that I let myself have one glass of wine (mixed with lemonade) with dinner every night for what was supposed to be 1 full week but spilled over to two as I was still finding it all just to unbearable. I'm now back on my TTC health kick and I only find I get hit with a sad wave every now and then but it's no longer the constant heavy blanket of sadness so hang in there hun, you will get through this. Just stay away from anything or anyone who makes you feel worse and just be super kind to yourself and do as much "feel good" stuff as you can. Think about what you would advise a good friend (or fellow IVF'er) going through what you are and do it yourself! Long walks along picturesque paths, massages, dig up some feel good tunes and blast it.... I found baking therapeutic so something that can take all of your attention. Please feel my big huge virtual hugs xoxoxo
Thank you for all your kind words - I certainly like the idea of baking, I love cooking and will certainly be therapeutic! I think the idea of having to go back to my pre-IVF diet makes me feel flat as there is all the time needed to even get to the cycle and then all the steps along the way... One if the hard things is that one of my best friends had just had a baby (who is 8 weeks) and my other best friend is due in 5 weeks. I was able to cope when I was pregnant now I just don't know what to do.. I don't really feel like seeing them and I hadn't told them I was pregnant and not sure I could deal with the pity... I did the panorama pre- natal test about 2 weeks ago so should get the results from that but have also asked for them to do test on the baby. I pray it's just really really bad luck... From reading your stories I'm impressed at your strength and resilience - I just hang to the fact that it will happen and you should too.
How are you going @Rarah11 ? I hope you've recovered physically so that the emotional healing can begin.
I know what you mean about finding it difficult with your friends. What about if you did have a little time out from them (if you're finding it difficult right now) and if they're really close friends, maybe your hubby could fill them in a little so they give you your space without the added stress that you're offending them?? Or you could send them a group text explaining why you need your space for a bit but that you still love them and are still super happy for them? One of my best friends is due with in a few days of what would've been my due date and I did have to have a few weeks to myself while I dealt with things. She knew about my first loss, second miracle and eventual 2nd loss so, she kinda just understood and gave me my space while still letting me know she cares. I've since been camping with her so I faced my own pain head on and spent several days straight with her growing belly in my face to remind me of what could/should've been. Doesn't get better than being pregnant with your bestie, right?
You have to put yourself first for a while to get yourself through this then you can get back to being there for them. xx
Last edited by Ladydee; 17-05-2014 at 08:27.
@Ladydee dealing with it head on is good - and I admire the courage it must have taken you to do that. The challenge with my friends is that the three of us often hang out which makes it harder... At one point I told them I couldn't do it so saw them individually which is easier! I think I'll give myself sometime and see how I feel over the next couple of weeks before I have to see them ! Physically I feel ok - hopefully the recovery is quick, and my cycle gets back on track - I hope considering I miscarried almost 3 weeks ago the body has already started to heal and AF arrived in the next 4 weeks!
@Rarah11, just wondering how you are doing Hun? Any results back from bubs tests to give you any answers?? Any sign of AF approaching? How are you doing emotionally....better and better everyday I hope? Did you end up managing a little time out from your fertile buddies? xx
I really think that pregnancy tricks my body into O'ing for a couple of cycles afterwards as I've unbelievably found myself UTD again with a natural conception. I have PCOS and don't usually O without a heap of drugs and even then, sometimes not....I had a tracking scan on CD12 this cycle and my polycystic covered ovaries showed no imminent O with the two biggest follies being around 10mm each. So it would've been a late O....maybe on CD 18/19?? I'm sure you can very well imagine the range of emotions I'm feeling right now so....one blood test/scan at a time and we'll see how it goes. If it ends badly then it will just be yet another delay in letting me start IVF.....third time in a row I've been just waiting for CD1 to start injecting my IVF drugs and then finding out I'm UTD instead. My first hCG was not very promising at all at 46 but the second was better at 1150.
I hope you're travelling along ok and feeling better emotionally x
@Ladydee that is great news - hope all goes well. I'm a lot better thanks. I have an appointment with FS next Wednesday so should get some answers or maybe not... I'm still spotting and it's 2 weeks post D&C hopefully will stop this weekend!
I just wanted to share my story so far, as I guess for me it's about to get worse. We've been trying for quite awhile (years ) and this was my first positive pregnancy test. I got my first positive at 4 weeks (so I'm pretty certain at least my dates can't vary too much as it would have been impossible to get positives when I did...especially by a couple of weeks.) off to the doc have had two lots of blood tests the first being 1900 the next being 11000 a week apart... Booked in for scan in week 9. I had a tiny bit of light pink/brown spotting at 6 weeks. I was a tiny bit worried but when no pain or blood showed up I assumed was all good. Turn now to my scan which occurred on Thursday. Which should've been 9 weeks. The ultrasound tech at first commented I didn't have enough water in my bladder so he bought some time by looking over my ovaries. Finally got to my uterus and spent ages with the screen away from me (my husband could see) and he was searching. He finally told me the sac was measuring 7 weeks and that he wanted to get his supervisor and for me to sit tight. He asked me again of my last period etc and then asked about any spotting. The supervisor came in, after what felt like ages. I thought they might have wanted to try transvaginal to get a clearer image. But they assured me what they saw and the fact it was empty, was sign enough that I had a non viable pregnancy.
At this stage I'm just a bit sad. I'm trying to wait for my body to receive the message naturally and deal with this itself. I was so hopeful this was finally our baby, so I'm a little bit heartbroken. I'm glad it didn't happen later after we had seen a heartbeat and all... I just thought it was our turn and things were finally falling into place. Trying to take solace in the fact I got pregnant at all, and that I will be able to continue losing the weight I have been shifting.
Having had a few more days to think about it all.... I'm beginning to wonder if I'm ever going to get a baby..... Sigh..... Mainly last night and today have had a tiny bit of what I would call period cramps.... Super minor though..... I think I was hoping in the back of mind there might have been a mistake..... I'm happy to wait a little bit for things to occur naturally (as have a full on week at work coming up.... Time will tell I guess)
I partly just wish I had started bleeding to have found out rather than an empty ultrasound.....sitting around and waiting sucks..... But I don't want a d&c or medication
Lilyloubelle, I'm really sorry to hear your news. No word can describe the pain. Take your time to grieve and heal. I hope your body cooperate and does what it needs to. Big hugs to you
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