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  1. #321
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    Oh MOP, big hugs. Hope the social worker is helpful. Sometimes the professionals are better than loved ones. Hope you feel better after speaking to them. I'm sure your DP would understand you are struggling. Just let him know you need time to heal. Big hugs x

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    mumofprincess  (26-03-2014)

  3. #322
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    Thank you. The professional was nice to talk to but when I heard myself talk I thought....gosh im crazy!
    I am feeling stressed that I spoke to her now. How do you keep something like this from your friends? I dont want anyone to know how I feel.

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  4. #323
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    Hi mumofprincess. I got a call on Tuesday because they managed to get me in for a d & c yesterday. The baby just didn't want to come out on it's own. You had your op yesterday too? How are you feeling this evening? Did you get some pain relief?

    I was terrified about the op. It was no way as bad as my nightmares invisioned which was a relief. I am so glad they have made these procedures so quick and painless, because there is so much other emotional pain we have to deal with.

    There are so many amazing women on here who have lost their babies and slowly gained the strength to get through it all.

    I made the mistake of blabbing to my kids about the pregnancy and they told everyone, as kids do. The only upside is that everyone who knows we have lost the baby has been incrediby supportive. I would prefer to hibernate this week but I know it's not good for me. I am on antidepressants for severe depression and anxiety attacks since I was 21, so I know I am my own worst enemy.

    Hang in there... keep talking to people. And most importantly no, your not crazy. You are hurting, and you have every right to feel that way.
    Last edited by auntyg; 26-03-2014 at 19:18.

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  6. #324
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    Quote Originally Posted by auntyg View Post
    Hi mumofprincess. I got a call on Tuesday because they managed to get me in for a d & c yesterday. The baby just didn't want to come out on it's own. You had your op yesterday too? How are you feeling this evening? Did you get some pain relief?

    I was terrified about the op. It was no way as bad as my nightmares invisioned which was a relief. I am so glad they have made these procedures so quick and painless, because there is so much other emotional pain we have to deal with.

    There are so many amazing women on here who have lost their babies and slowly gained the strength to get through it all.

    I made the mistake of blabbing to my kids about the pregnancy and they told everyone, as kids do. The only upside is that everyone who knows we have lost the baby has been incrediby supportive. I would prefer to hibernate this week but I know it's not good for me. I am on antidepressants for severe depression and anxiety attacks since I was 21, so I know I am my own worst enemy.

    Hang in there... keep talking to people. And most importantly no, your not crazy. You are hurting, and you have every right to feel that way.
    Thanks Auntyg. Im so sorry for your loss. My pain is ok but ive had a headache since I came out of theatre. Im still in hospital and making excuses as to why to people is hard but ive been blaming it on my headache.
    Ive got a history of depression and they looking at putting me back on medication.
    They are having a nurse sit with me tonight in case I get upset or want to talk but they are giving me a sleeping tablet too. Poor nurse.
    They are going to sit down with DP and me tomorrow and explain to him how im feeling. I just feel so embarrassed. The Dr said...if it was any other part of your body that was sick would you be embarrassed???
    No...but I cant help it. Im used to being strong....or at least faking it.

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  7. #325
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    Mumofprincess, I am so glad the hospital is giving you lots of support. Please don't feel like an idiot or be embarassed, it really is so hard being a woman sometimes. We are constantly battling with physical and emotional changes all the time - and yes we are often acting 'strong' when all we really want to do is breakdown. I think this is why when we watch a 'chick flick' it tends to be a great time to 'let it all out'.

    It's really good that the hospital will explain to DP how you are feeling. How do you possibly explain to them everything that it is like to be a woman, and to have such gifts taken away with no real answers. I know I have been left with feels of guilt, shame, blaming myself, and have only just started accepting my powerless over everything.

    I ended up with a nasty headache last night too... and my throat is so sore! That's when I finally started popping some of the take home meds.

    Also, don't feel bad if you need to go back onto your anitidepressants. I am so used to it now, and it really is the only 'normal' for me. My family has a long history of depressive illnesses and so I think I didn't get much of a chance to escape it. I believe traumatic events and stress tends to bring it on a bit quicker too.

    Let us know how you go today. Sending you lots of good wishes today. Today is a new day and let is bring some new hope :-)

    oxox

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  9. #326
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    Huge hugs @auntyg and @mumofprincess xoxo

    One day at a time ladies... xxx

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    mumofprincess  (27-03-2014)

  11. #327
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    Thank you.
    They are trialling me on anti anxiety medication.
    I told them this morning that I still felt like cutting myself but I wanted to go home. They said no.
    Now they have cancelled my angiogram cause I have weakness in my left side. So im getting an mri instead.
    I told DP I want to go home and he said well you shouldn't of said what you said then.
    Now im upset again.

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  12. #328
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    Hopefully between the meds and talking with someone it will help to start working out a plan of how to deal with all the emotions you are going through.

    I found that DH didn't really understand either - it would be interesting to know how many women find that their partners don't quite understand what they are going through...and I suppose that's it - they don't quite understand it. Did someone have a talk to him to explain things - if he didn't get it the first time perhaps if he talks to someone else or even another partner in the same position. Would be great if he can find ways to help you as you get better.

    Don't leave until you're feeling like you have a plan and someone to contact regularly for a chat.

  13. #329
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    They explained it to him but he thinks me being in hospital is making it worse.
    Im just going to go back to faking that everything is ok. Its easier for everyone that way.
    Thank you for your support xxx

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  14. #330
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    It's hard as I haven't been in your exact position. This was also our last try as we had to call it at sometime. I've tried to think of some things I did when I was at my lowest over the last few years - not sure how helpful they are.

    One thing that I found that helped was to plan for good things. ie. holidays, a night out, invite people over.

    Try and have a schedule that will keep you getting out and about, even if it is a weekly window shop and a milkshake with DD.

    Get into some hobbies that you enjoy - I love working out (or at least when I'm finished working out!) and found that I baked a whole heap of new things and started studying.

    Find someone you can talk to about your experiences and how you are going - try and see if you can get into the women's health counsellor on a regular basis (I still need to do this).

    Get some sleep - things are always so much harder when you are tired. I had problems sleeping though for a while due to anxiety/depression - see if they can give you meds if not sleeping or techniques to help.

    Sleep tight x.

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