Mammalinz I hope you are doing ok today – I know yesterday was not easy. I know what you mean about the scan giving some comfort – I am glad you were able to ask for this to be done. Even though I knew the outcome wouldn’t be any different – for me it was some comfort to think it was the last thing I could do for my little one.
From an IVF perspective, at my last appointment my FS said it’s basically up to us as to when we’d be ready to try again. He said he has patients who just wait for AF to return (although I think this can take up to several weeks, sometimes less I understand) and then time their next cycle with that. As long as it’s a minimum of 4 weeks he said as it takes 4 weeks generally for the HCG to leave your system. We’ve got 5 frosties from this most recent cycle but at the moment I am terrified at the thought of using them and having the same outcome again. I know it’s just one of those random things and chances are the other embryos will be fine but I think at the very least I’ll wait for the outcome of the testing and go from there. I forgot to ask how long the results take.
Chillies and smallpotatoes – thank you for your kind thoughts.
Mammalinz take care of yourself and rest up today – hope to hear how you’re getting on when you’re ready x
Ladies is it ok if I join??
I didn't *technically* misscarry so if you'd rather I didn't that's ok I just want somewhere to chat especially since I'm thinking next month might be quite rough on me.
Back in October I gave birth to my beautiful 2nd daughter. She was born sleeping at 21 weeks after we discovered issues at my 19 week scan and we made the decision to be induced. It was the worst thing I've ever had to do :-(
Next week we get her autopsy results and then later in the month will be what should have been my due date.
Although I'm coping quite well, getting on with life etc I feel like a huge chunk of my heart is missing and nothing will ever be the same again.
I miss her so much.
I'm so sorry to read of all your losses. I would not wish this on my worst enemy, I never knew I could feel pain like this. I hope you are all healing physically and emotionally and life is treating you kind x
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does the heartache get any easier?
It's been a week since we found out at the 12 week scan that our baby had stopped growing at 9weeks & no heartbeat. I went straight to ob who I asked to do another scan (I think I was in denial) & he confirmed no heartbeat . I had a d. & c later that afternoon. We were totally devastated after having 3 previous scans , the last at 8w5d with strong heartbeat. I had spotting at 6-7 weeks but it stopped & had ms.
We have 2 boys via ivf already & feel totally blessed & lucky we have them esp getting thru this difficult time.
Just when I think i can get thru a day without crying, I breakdown again feeling bad because I'm not sad.
My ob said we can start trying again in a few weeks but I don't think I could go thru this heartache again.
Melimum - of course you can stay with us! These ladies have been wonderful
Again I'm sorry for your little girl xxx
Laci - sorry for your loss. Your story is a replica of our first mmc. Our dating scan at 6.5wks showed a healthy little flea, went to our scan at 12.5wks to find there was no longer a hb and only measuring 8.5wks. Sadly we went through the exact same scenario again in November though found out at 9wks after 2 healthy previous scans (after the first mmc I have been terrified so even with dd we had a scan at 9ish wks to be assured that bubs was still ok-or not as was the case again).
In answer to your question, yes, it does get easier with time. As I mentioned to one of the other ladies, you do get to the point where its not all consuming. You still think about it but you don't break down at every little thought. It does take time though and even now, I don't want to know about other people's pregnancies. Big hugs xx
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mellimum - I am so sorry to read about your loss .. I cant imagine the pain at loosing a child at 12 weeks. I lost mine at 6-9 weeks. Found out at the 7 week mark removed at 9 weeks.
I am getting a biopsy in 6 weeks and nervous about this so I can understand your apprehension. Knowing the EDD is torture .. something else I am not exciting about.. We are all here to support you and eachother ..
Melimum I am so sorry - you must miss your little girl so very much. I bet she was so beautiful.
Lacilockey it's so very hard isn't it. Tuesday will be a week since my D&C. All I want to so is go back and have things turn out differently - I still can't quite believe what's happened. I noticed the title of another thread just before - "I hate being pregnant" - I didn't look at it and I am sure those posting didn't mean anything by it. But I'd give absolutely anything in the world to be pregnant still. I so miss what might have been.
I just saw that title too and felt pretty angry. Although I didn't love being pregnant I'd give anything to be pregnant again after losing my daughter at 2 days old.
Any kind of complaining makes me very angry-if you haven't had to hold your daughter while she takes her last breaths or look at a tiny coffin...then its a good day.
I've avoided the thread as well. I loved being pregnant with dd, I absolutely cherished every minute of it after we lost our 1st. Even at the very end I had said in my dig that I was a little sad it would all be over very soon (but at the same time so excited and anxious to meet her safely)
Even my 24/7 ms I would have gladly taken back over a broken heart again
Nica, what an incredibly difficult time you must have been/be going through. Massive hugs xx
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