We can't afford fertility treatment. I've been on a waiting list to see a gyno since October last year and according to them the wait will be another 10 months. So no hope there.
I've stopped taking the vitex. It's pretty obvious I'm not going to ovulate this cycle and I'm so over taking the array of vitamins and metformin and nothing happening. I'm over the whole thing and I wish I'd never started ttc. Sometimes I even wish I hadn't got with df because I never thought of babies before I was with him.
I hate that I feel like my life will be pointless if I can't be a mother to my very own child. I hate that my body doesn't work and all around me there are women who take getting pregnant for granted, who keep smoking and drinking and doing drugs while they are pregnant, who constantly whinge about how hard being pregnant is. I would give everything I have to be able to experience growing a human being and bringing them into the world. It's just not fair and I don't want it to be such a struggle anymore.
It terrifies me that I will still be childless this time next year. I can't take that.