+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 26
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    369
    Thanks
    7
    Thanked
    79
    Reviews
    0
    It might be a bit more about her... Could she just be a bit jealous that you have someone you want to settle down with or she's scared of losing you?

    When I first told one of my friends we were trying, she called me the next day crying hysterically about how unhappy she was and that her life was going nowhere. Which wasn't true, we were just in different places in our lives and she needed a cuddle

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    11,112
    Thanks
    7,258
    Thanked
    5,874
    Reviews
    11
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 29/5/15Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week100 Posts in a week
    Woody- that is quite possible. She is in a terrible relationship where her partner treats her badly, verbally abuses her and manipulates her. She can't seen to leave him though, dispite them breaking up several times over 4 years.

  3. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    South Aus
    Posts
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    1
    Reviews
    0
    jutted dropping in, my dp and I had been together 9 months before finding out we were pregnant with ds1. I was 21 I don't regret anything. and now after 4 years of being together were having number 2.
    not married, but then I have no interest in wasting money on a piece of paper.

    Sent from my GT-N7000B using The Bub Hub mobile app

  4. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    2,732
    Thanks
    1,522
    Thanked
    1,963
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    People have different priorities, and can't always understand why people would choose to do things differently. It sounds like she's judging your situation based on HER ideals for having a child, not yours.

    My partner and I had been together for 8 years, not married, when we found out I was pregnant (I was 22 at the time), and I wouldn't classify my best friend as supportive. She was probably happy that I was happy, but genuinely couldn't understand why I would WANT to be in that situation.

    Unfortunately, people won't always react the way you want them to. If she can't be the person you want her to be (someone to share the exciting stuff with), find someone else! If not your partner, maybe family members or - as someone suggested - people on here!

    Good luck by the way, certainly an exciting time

  5. #15
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,517
    Thanks
    432
    Thanked
    3,246
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I have a friend a year younger than me who refuses to have a baby without being married. Not because she's old fashioned or anything but because most of her friends are quite young mums whose partners buggered off when they found out they were pregnant/just after the baby was born and screw the mother over in the process, so she is terrified of that happening and of her life going to sh!t and not being able to take care of a baby, etc etc.

    Could your friend be worried this will happen to you?

    Sent from my HUAWEI-U8850 using BubHub

  6. #16
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Location
    Australia
    Posts
    11,112
    Thanks
    7,258
    Thanked
    5,874
    Reviews
    11
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 29/5/15Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennaisme View Post
    I have a friend a year younger than me who refuses to have a baby without being married. Not because she's old fashioned or anything but because most of her friends are quite young mums whose partners buggered off when they found out they were pregnant/just after the baby was born and screw the mother over in the process, so she is terrified of that happening and of her life going to sh!t and not being able to take care of a baby, etc etc.

    Could your friend be worried this will happen to you?

    Sent from my HUAWEI-U8850 using BubHub
    I guess she could be, but I believe that just because someone is married doesn't mean they will stick around forever. I am sure that my partner and I are in this for the long run even though we aren't married yet.

  7. #17
    Join Date
    Aug 2009
    Posts
    3,517
    Thanks
    432
    Thanked
    3,246
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by beccaboobang View Post
    I guess she could be, but I believe that just because someone is married doesn't mean they will stick around forever. I am sure that my partner and I are in this for the long run even though we aren't married yet.
    Best friends aren't there to be yes men. They're there to look out for us and occasionally tell us things we don't want to hear. If this is a real fear for her, then it stands to reason she would also be worried about you for the same reason, so of course she‘ll say something to you about it, or she wouldn't really be a best friend.

    My advice would be to actually talk to her about it.
    Sent from my HUAWEI-U8850 using BubHub

  8. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2012
    Posts
    1,083
    Thanks
    200
    Thanked
    425
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    BA. DF and I tried for DD after being together for 6 years. Got preg after 5 months. Got married 1.5 years later and I was 6 weeks preg with DS. I have to admit though, when I was preg with DD both my mum and DF's dad both wanted us to get married. Some people just have different deas of marriage/babies etc. Though I will say, I can understand how your feel. For your long time friend to be so un supportive must be hard.

  9. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Gold Coast
    Posts
    1,198
    Thanks
    13
    Thanked
    45
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    We has our oldest just before I turned 25, and we weren't married at the time, had been together about 3 years when she was born. We got married before I was pregnant with number 2, now 15 years on we are expecting number 5 and wonderfully happy together
    Just because you are not married, does not make having a baby a bad thing. We were the first out of our friends to have kids, so most didn't understand that we couldn't just drop everything and got out when they wanted us too, but once they settled down too they understood.

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    490
    Thanks
    133
    Thanked
    210
    Reviews
    0
    Quote Originally Posted by Woody1982 View Post
    It might be a bit more about her... Could she just be a bit jealous that you have someone you want to settle down with or she's scared of losing you?
    +1

    Quote Originally Posted by Renn View Post
    People have different priorities, and can't always understand why people would choose to do things differently. It sounds like she's judging your situation based on HER ideals for having a child, not yours.
    +1

    I agree with everyone.

    Generally people lash out when you are doing something very different to them, or something that they can't see themselves doing yet. If she has a tumultuous relationship, she is probably sad that it's not in her foreseeable future either; although I can't claim to know what she does or does not want. Maybe she would like the option but is sad not to have it.

    When I told my (previously) close friend that we were thinking about TTC he was very unsupportive and just reminded me that I shouldn't be 'throwing my life away' and that I had 'plenty of time' for stuff like settling down and getting married. It was just because it was so unfamiliar to him and I think he was afraid of my life becoming so very different from his.

    My DP and I are both 27 and have been together 18 months, we're TTC now. We aren't married and can't be bothered (although DP's Mum would be very disappointed if we never did so we'll probably sneak it in before a child is born).

    It sounds like you are happy with your life; that's all that matters! There is no 'right' way to live this life, you just have to do what feels right at every step of the way. And just wait, there's no way she can stay angry/disappointed when she is playing with your adorable baby on her lap


 

Similar Threads

  1. Change to married name
    By lilypily in forum General Chat
    Replies: 22
    Last Post: 17-01-2013, 09:42
  2. Where did you get married?
    By starflame in forum General Chat
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: 13-10-2012, 11:32
  3. Where did you get married?
    By starflame in forum General Chat
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 17-07-2012, 00:28

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Tambo Teddies
Visit our online store and select your individually handmade natural sheepskin teddy bear. Our soft and loveable bears come in a range of styles and colours. Created in Outback Queensland each bear is unique individual. 100% Australian made!
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Wendys Music School
Wendy’s Music School. Experience, Quality and great service! For qualifying students we will get you playing or singing your favourite music in 90 days GUARANTEED! Book a free assessment online now!
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!