Just to start off with – I’m not pregnant yet. At this stage we are waiting on our PGD workup before we can start IVF.
However, recently I have been wondering whether we are doing the right thing as far as starting a family. But on the other hand I really want to be a mum & have done for years.
Basically my husband has a job which demands a lot of unpaid over-time on a regular basis. They often have big projects that last for months on end & that means he won’t be home till 8.30pm or later basically every night for that entire period. He also leaves fairly early in the morning – about 6.30/6.45am. He could get home between 6 & 6.30pm if he ever left on time. We have had many many fights about this but he says he doesn’t have a choice but to work back as the deadlines need to be met. Supposedly they are the expectations of his industry.
So therefore I have some serious concerns about what’s going to happen if we have a child. He says things will be different then, but I have asked him to demonstrate to me how that will happen & he can’t do that – therefore I don’t believe anything will change.
Which basically means if we have a child I guess will be doing everything during the week as far as care – as by the time he gets home the child will already be in bed (and I probably will be too sometimes). I really don’t know if I am strong enough to basically raise a child alone – I’m scared about being a mum anyway (as I’m sure all first-time mums are) and I just don’t know if I could do it without his support.
My parents will help out as much as they can, but they also have full-time jobs & their own lives & I can’t expect them to throw all that away just because my DH is at work all the time.
I don’t feel like I should have to deprive myself of experiencing motherhood just because DH is constantly at work, I just really don’t know if I can do it alone.
How will I know if I'm strong enough? I don't want to have a baby and then find I can't do it.