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  1. #1
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    Default unplanned and lost my job

    I'm 26 and found out I was pregnant after I lost my job. I was considering going back to school to gain qualifications. I didn't get a redundancy as my previous job uses people for years and never makes them full time. My boyfriend wants to keep no matter what. I don't know what to do. I wanted to be making some real income by now. I've been appyling for work but haven't been successful yet. Plus in a couple of months I'll probably start showing and no one will want to employ me.
    I was already getting depressed over not finding new work. This has been stressful and not fun at all. Plus I've had bad morning sickness. I keep thinking when will things get better? Now I understand why women get depressed during pregnancy. My boyfriend doesn't want to give it up at all.

  2. #2
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    Contact a temp employment agency, you might be able to get a few short assignments which could turn into a 6 month contract which would take you up until close to the date of your baby's birth (if you do decide to keep the baby).

    With the morning sickness, if its stopping you from getting on with your normal life, go to your doctor and asked for medication.

    Congratulations and good luck!

  3. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to JR03 For This Useful Post:

    αληθη  (11-05-2013),Twoalready  (11-05-2013)

  4. #3
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    Thanks I have found it hard to stay positive when my boyfriend and I have been arguing. Long story short I havent found the privacy to be able to talk to a counsellor about trying to figure out which way I should go. I plan to do this tomorrow, while my boyfriend isn't around.
    I really envy other women who atleast got to plan their pregancies and know what they want. I wanted to buy whatever I wanted without boyfriends family trying to take over all the time. I worry about trying to have a career still. It would mean I would get less time to enjoy having a baby.
    Society likes trying to make mums feel guilty no matter what.

  5. #4
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    I'm really not sure what to do and I'm probably about 9 weeks or something. I'm sick of scraping By all the time. I don't know if I should keep it but my boyfriends mother and sister have been telling all their family about it.

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    Only you can make that decision . Hugs x

  7. #6
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    How the heck did they know you were pregnant when you are so early on?

    Make sure you speak with a counsellor before you do anything.

    Having a baby may be hard initially but will you be able to cope 2 months, 1 year, 3 years down the track with knowing you had an abortion?

    It's about what you are comfortable with and can live with: NOW and in the FUTURE.

  8. #7
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    I had my daughter at 18. Good old fast food restaurant and uni, a boyfriend who is freaking out and no money? That was me.
    Ended up keeping her, had her 2 weeks before I sat my exams. Best decision of my life. Later down the track; boyfriend became husband and we got to plan baby number two, not that anything could have prepared us for him LOL.

    It was hard work. Budgeting, scraping by with barely nothing. For 4 more years after I had her that's what we did. Me having crappy jobs until I graduated because I couldn't commit to time during work hours or really outside of them with a young child. Wouldn't change any of it. Not at all. I knew I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I had terminated (that's me personally not a judgement on anyone else). In the end after having my son at 25 I had some issues so that I can no longer have children anyway. There was no guarantee that I wouldn't have been in the same position without children had I made different choices in my life, so for me I know I picked the right course, and my husband wholeheartedly agrees! Hindsight would be lovely to have but is not something we actually have so we have to be 100% sure we are able to stand by our choices without regrets.

    I don't think you should decide anything by yourself. I know it is so antifeminist to say after all "your body" and all that. but you got into it together and you sound like you are on different sides of the fence where he will be hurt by a decision to terminate if not made with him, and you'll be felt "pushed" into it if you keep the baby. So go to your counselling session to help you decide and then talk about it together, without arguing if possible, maybe make a pros and cons list or something.

    On a side note, not all women are "in love" instantly with their babies while stressed to the max and hating being pregnant, yes it is okay to admit that some people HATE being pregnant, the morning sickness the idea of how will I cope financially going through your head... Try to stop putting so much pressure on yourself too, how can you think clearly, without panic emotions crossing your thoughts while you are putting the most pressure on yourself? Sounds to me like you got out of a workplace that was not ideal, and in time you will get back in there again. Go back to school like you planned. I did it with a baby! Heaps of women do!!! Then you will have your qualifications and the doors open just like you planned.

  9. #8
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    I've tried posting but had trouble logging in. I found out I'm much further than I was told. I'm 15 weeks now. I've been to counseling to no avail. I didn't know each place refers you to a different place each time. Went to another one yesterday which was zero help. He even said he doesn't know why the previous place referred me to him. I'm freaking out and running out of time. Just about everything that could go wrong has. How to make a decision?

  10. #9
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    Despite applying for jobs I've had no luck. Now I'm 15 weeks

  11. #10
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    Hang in there, you can get through this no matter what you decide.

    Something that might be helpful is to take a piece of paper and write down all the pros and cons of each decision.
    Some things that may help you... Work out your budget, ring centrelink and see what assistance is available to you, figure out what scares you about each side of the decision... For example if there's something worrying you about becoming a parent, or about staying pregnant, make a list of questions and ask someone who is already a mum.

    My story is not all that dissimilar to yours - I had a high paying job, and was super stressed, over tired and I quit, thinking I had enough money to keep me going till the next big break came along.

    3 weeks after my last day, I discovered I was pregnant. Bugger, there goes that awesome maternity package I would have had, that I never thought I'd use anyway as I had no intentions of having a child - I was a career woman.

    I'd been with my partner a short 8 months, and although we were/are living together, we had been fighting about pointless things and I was worried about our relationship (thanks hormones) . He was not interested at all in keeping the baby but did understand it was my decision as well. I had been told it was possible I could never have kids - endometritis at a young age. I knew I couldn't live with myself if I chose to abort and it had been my one lucky chance. So for me, after a very emotional teary few weeks I knew there was a way I could make it work.

    I managed to pick up a 6 month contract (didn't inform them I was pregnant till I'd been there a month and was 17 weeks. It was a Huge paycut for me, but better than nothing. On the side I did some hospitality temping. This gave me shifts most Friday and Saturday nights and I hammered away at the debts I had in order to give me some more confidence I could do this on my own if that's what it came too, as dp seemed to think I was ruining his life. And that i had turned into this horrible person (thanks again hormones, tiredness, all day sickness).

    It was sad to turn my back on career, but I thought back to most of the successful business woman in I knew, both in my industry and others, and realised a lot of them had kids!!! So if they can bounce back... Why can't I.

    I am now the proudest mother of Alexis jade, who was 11 weeks old yesterday. I have never been so scared in my life, but every day brings new pleasures. It really is true that only a mother knows this sort of love.


 

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