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  1. #1
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    Unhappy Freaked at false alarm, now feel sad...WTF?!?!

    We use natural method for birth control, it works well, I know all my fertile signs can usually pinpoint ovulation and period to the day... yesterday AF didn't come and I totally freaked out. The mind is powerful I even started to feel sick! I couldn't even share my fears with DP as I knew this would be my stuff up (I think I did stuff up but hasn't resulted in pregnancy). I was so freaked out I was actually looking online for information about medical terminations. All the reasons why it seemed like the end of the world:
    I'm 40, in remission from cancer, xmas overseas trip booked and paid for, younger sister just had late miscarriage and isn't pregnant again yet, 6 years out of work I can't afford another 3+ years, above all this DP doesn't want another how could I have broken it to him!!!
    I was initially so unbelievably relieved to get my period this morning, but why do I also feel sadness and loss?! What is wrong with me?? I think yesterday I was feeling especially guilty as I have been obsessing about babies. I know all the good reasons we are done with our 2 perfectly healthy children, but sometimes I pine so I felt guilty that I hadn't been careful enough. But when I thought I was pregnant, I really really didn't feel like it would be a good thing for my family. Why am I so conflicted?!?!

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    SuperGranny is online now Worlds best grandma! Winner 2012 - Most Helpful Member
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    Hi freyamum, I think there is a conflict between your heart and your head. You have many logical reasons for not having another child but at the same time you feel in your heart that you will love another child. If you are serious about no more children then why havent you make a permanent decision. ? Good luck, Marie.

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    Freyamum  (15-05-2013)

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    Yep totally conflicted about whether we're done. I think I've only given it serious thought since turning 40 this year. I was 36 when DS was born and then when I was 38, before I had even thought about another baby, I found out I had cancer so that took over. During my treatment I kept thinking how if I got through it all I would want another baby to experience the positive side of medical care!! Whenever I felt like we should really think about more children I was waiting for the next round of medical tests and being alive for the kids I have was priority. I seem to be in the clear now so that with turning 40 has got me thinking again. Having kids has been the best thing to ever happen in my life and I think the happiest I've ever been is when they were little babies. I know for sure I could love another child wholeheartedly. It's just the health/career/financial stuff and persuading DP!! All my friends are done for sure so it would be harder without that support. And I gotta be sure I'd be going there for the right reasons and not because I love babies so much

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    hi

    similar thing happened to me recently...very very super light AF...which i had once b4 when pg...but we are really not sure about another one..i wouldnt mind (some days, other days im like no way!), DH is not overly keen ..i also started thinking i had pg symptoms but then kept dismissing them cos i become worried about coping with #3 and thought no i would have to TOP we cant afford another at the moment, im about to go back to part time work in a few months, etc....didnt do a pg test for days..but as soon as i bought it i knew i was going to a be negative and i also felt relief when it was ..but then a little sad....i think its that 10% of me that still wants another baby....id be happy with my two if it never happened but at the same time i have a niggling of just one more that wont completely go away..

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    Freyamum  (16-05-2013)

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    I wasn't feeling well one morning so i did a test but I only managed a few drops as it was now mid morning so I put the lid back on the test and put it on the window sill and went shopping... When I came home I went to throw the test in the bin and when I looked at it it was positive! I freaked out big time! I went and bought another test as I knew the first one had stuff all pee on it and was almost sad when it was negative and so was dh.... But we certainly don't plan to have anymore.

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    Freyamum  (16-05-2013)

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    It's so interesting reading others similar experiences. I'm starting to put my indecisiveness down to heart vs head. My head has all these very logical, practical reasons why trying for another baby isn't a great idea. But my heart just feels the love I have for my kids and sees another child as more love and happiness. Right now I'm home watching octonauts with my 3 year old after visit to shops. I'm so tired right now that my head is winning the battle ;-)


 

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