Thanks for your post shadowangel.
Ive had someone say to me that its like my mil has BPD but she shows traits of several mental illnesses ive looked into so im not sure. As far as i know she hasnt been diagnosed with anything other than depression.
I know what u mean about making the excuses part! Dh does it all the time.... " she has no one" " shes had a rough life" "she doesnt think like u and me" "shes frail sick old woman" ( shes 62) Other times he will pull her up on her behaviour and they will have blowouts. Its so destructive.
The last few months have been virtually non stop drama and stress with repeated abusive, nasty and emotionally manipulative behaviour and he knew that i had limited my contact with her ( i never said anything to her for fear once i started i wouldnt stop) but id just try not to see her - funnily enough dh also doesnt drive so i have to take him to see her or he would catch a bus from work. She lives next door to his Nan so we would always go there as her house is filthy ( i mean hoarders style) so id go in and say hi to his Nan and she would come over.
Id try to say to dh that id come in and say hi and then leave and come back and pick him up ( is too far to drive back home tho) but he never wanted to stay long so would ask me to just wait.
But now i have to put my foot down. He isnt going to like it and i know he will try and guilt trip me and make me feel like im the bad one but i dont care anymore.
It drives me nuts that he just keeps going back to allow more abuse. He thinks he has no choice and has to put up with it cause she is his lonely old mum.
Honestly no wonder she has no friends or family that want anything to do with her but she constantly pulls the pity card about how she has no one and all her ailments etc.
Any tips on how to make him realise what he is doing? Nothing i say seems to make a real, lasting difference. She has been manipulating him all his life!
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