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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    OP: sorry you are going through a rough trot and your hubby doesn't have a big family to pick up the slack.

    Monster moos: you poor thing! Either your mum has mental issues, is a biatch, or both! Good on your DH for telling her to p-off!
    She split with dad about a Year prior and ever since they split a screw turned loose I guess you could say she just completely changed into a nutjob for lack of a better word

    DD doesn't know any of my family and DS doesn't remember them so it has made it alot easier to forget about them all together.
    My kids love DHs family and they more than make up for my side being completely absent.

    No loss to them and no stress for me and DH doesn't have to see me upset so its a win for everyone

    OP do what you have To for you and your DH. If cutting mil will save stress and anger do it. You will both feel much better in the end



    Sent from a magical mobile bubhub device in a galaxy far far away

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    SoThisIsLove  (10-05-2013)

  3. #32
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    Yes. MIL and my older brother. How peaceful it has been since!
    Last edited by shadowangel0205; 10-06-2013 at 00:29.

  4. #33
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    No, but my eldest brother has cut most of us off.

  5. #34
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    No, but my mum cut off my grandfather and his wife about 18 years ago. They were the worst type of people. My mum and her siblings were malnourished as kids; they had serious health problems that didn't get seen to until after they left home- my mum is deaf in one ear from a childhood injury that she was never taken to hospital for; none of the kids had new clothes or books for school- yet there was always money for smokes and booze.

    The straw that broke the camels back was when my great grandma died, she left money in her will to all her grand kids, my grand father contested the will and took everything himself. He then sold all of mums nanas keepsakes and things. Even the stuff that was worthless except for sentimental value.

    My mum decided enough was enough and cut them out and hasn't looked back. I haven't seen them since I was about 8, at my aunts wedding. I feel sorry for them because they have missed out on getting to know my brother and I. They don't even know they have three great-granddaughters.

  6. #35
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    Yep I cut contact with Mil because a little difference of opinion turned into a huge fight where she was trying to turn DH against me and get him to leave and take the children. I told DH I wouldn't stop him from seeing her and taking the children as long as he never left them alone with her for fear of what she would say to them, but she tried telling DH something that wasn't true and he told her he knew she was lying she abused him to the point of telling him she wished he had killed himself because he wasn't a man so all contact was cut and she never saw the children again. She died a few years ago and while I feel bad her and DH never worked things out (not from lack of trying on his part) I do not feel bad for myself not seeing her and the children not seeing her.

  7. #36
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    Not something I have ever done and can't imagine I ever will, because I am lucky to have a loving, caring family. But if I had endured the kind of family relationships so many of you describe I certainly would. I can see how it could be a very empowering choice when someone brings nothing but hurt and criticism and manipulation into your life.

  8. #37
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    Yes, I have.
    It started with one of my parents, and very quickly escalated to the other parent as well as my siblings, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I only have contact with one aunt and two cousins, but they have nothing to do with my family so that's why I'm still in contact with them
    Why? There are lots of reasons why. The biggest is because they just never acted like my parents. They didn't care about me. They never were proud of me, and never will be - and it doesn't matter what I do and accomplish, it just never would be good enough. They don't love me, they just love the idea of me. They never respected me. They were toxic.
    It was a long time coming. It just got to the point where I said enough.

    My siblings and extended family got cut out because they didn't respect my decision.

    It wasn't easy, it still isn't easy, but I am happier without them. My life is better without them. I am stronger without them.
    Last edited by Rarity; 09-05-2013 at 22:47.

  9. #38
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    Wow im certainly not alone im sorry to hear about all your families behaviour. Sometimes family can treat you the worst, yet they are the ones you tend to tolerate the most abuse from.

    I feel such a huge sense of relief already....like a ton of bricks have been taken off my shoulders. I briefly mentioned to dh tonight that i needed to talk to him about his mum after her abusive episode last night but he wouldnt. Its a very sore point. All he said is " dont leave me to deal with this alone" so he knows whats coming.

    Thing is im not leaving him to do anything....he is choosing to continue associating with her and enable her abuse. I am choosing not to.

    I said the only person to blame here is your mum, no one else and we went on to have a nice night together. I gave him a letter to read explaining my decision and a detailed description of the reasons but he wouldnt read it tonight as he said it would upset him.

    Surely he doesnt think i should put up with it. He is utterly fed up himself. I think he just feels sad its come to this and is clutching at straws.

    I feel so sorry for him having a mother that continually abuses and hurts him. I have no idea what that must feel like as i have such a close loving relationship with my mum

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  10. #39
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    I could have written the last part of your post word for word...

    I feel so sorry for him having a mother that continually abuses and hurts him. I have no idea what that must feel like as i have such a close loving relationship with my mum
    I know exactally how you are feeling! This was me 2yrs ago.

    I hope things calm down for you soon, and hopefully, DH comes around....its a long hard road, but hang in there, there is light at the end of the tunnel!
    Last edited by shadowangel0205; 10-06-2013 at 00:36.

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  12. #40
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    MIL as her attitude toward us & our blended family changed after our wedding.

    She proclaimed that we need to keep things separate into his, mine & ours (it never had been) and that when SD comes for DH access only the 2 of them should be at the house eg me & other kids p$&s off.

    Thanks for that loving wedding gesture bi$&h

    Don't regret it at all, our lives are very peaceful apart from the things she still does thru other people to get to us. The thing is every time she does its just another nail in the coffin of her relationship with her son:/

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to ourbradybunch For This Useful Post:

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