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  1. #1
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    Default What is the best time to have visitors after birth?

    Just wanted some other people's opinions. This will be my first baby so I really don't know what to expect.

    We will be having bub at a birth centre (if all goes according to plan) so we will hopefully leave 4 hours after birth. I suspect that being home early might make certain people think it is ok to visit but I don't think I will want people on the first day, I imagine we will all be exhausted.

    I have read that breastfed bubs can be pretty much on the boob all the time until mum's milk comes in, so I kind of think it will be pointless to have too many visitors in those first few days because they will all be wanting to hold bub and that won't be possible if he's constantly attached to my boob...also I don't think I'll be too comfortable feeding in front of all DF's family when I'm still trying to get the hang of what to do.

    So, would it be better to make everyone wait until my milk has come in so I'm not just constantly feeding? Or does anyone have any other advice about visitors that might be useful?

  2. #2
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    honestly, it's up to you, but even when your milk comes in , you may have trouble with attaching, (sometimes BF isn't as easy as on tv!!) and will having to keep on trying, you will feel tired, and will need your rest.. if it's easier, just have people come of an afternoon a few weeks later say from 2-4 to meet bubs and it's not too long for you either. you don't know if you'll end up with a ceaserian, so will definitely not feel up to visitors after that..

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    DarcyJ  (08-05-2013)

  4. #3
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    Totally up to you and how you feel at the time. I ended up having a c-section so was in hospital for 6 days. We told everyone no visitors for the first 24 hours, then after that immediate family and closest friends only (no drop-ins!!). Once we got home we kept the same rule for the first week or so, till we found our feet a little, then allowed people to come and visit PROVIDING they rang and organised it first.

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    DarcyJ  (08-05-2013)

  6. #4
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    It's so different for everyone. Some people love having everyone visit straight away, others are the opposite. And it really is hard to judge how you feel before it happens!

    We went to a birth centre too but stayed one night in hospital as DD didn't latch on for about 12 hours and I lost a fair bit of blood.

    I sent a text to my Mum, MIL and best friend (who had flown over from London and surprised me to be here for the birth) about 5 hours after she was born. Mum came to the hospital the next afternoon about 10 minutes before we left to go home, ILs came that evening. Bestie came the next day and I think on day 5 a couple more people came.

    Honestly I found even this overwhelming. I loved having my people meet DD but honestly I would have been happy to not see anyone for the first month. My DD was on the breast for 12 hours a day and never slept and people just did my head in! I loved just hanging in bed with her and DP.

    Don't be afraid to just tell people not to come or to leave. You and your babe are more important so do what makes you happy! Tell people to bring food! MIL was amazing and always brought a box of snacks/fruit plus a couple of meals. She would prepare me a plate, take the baby and insist that I eat a meal with both hands. My bestie was the same and always brought flowers. My Mum on the other hand would make mess and ask if there was anything to eat!

    Next time I probably will wait longer before we tell people. Those first few days are so lovely but also so full on.

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    DarcyJ  (08-05-2013)

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    We found a good way to avoid a lot of visitors was to send a text (or call, depending on the relative/friend) announcing babe was born, and that we will let them know when we are ready for visitors. If we had thought of this with our first, it would have avoided much heartache.

    With our first, we had way too many relatives around, and I felt totally overwhelmed and uncomfortable, which caused me a lot of issues. Not to mention so many other people held my son on his first day on earth, that I barely got a look in with him, only to feed him, that the initial bonding time was broken. You never get that special time back. I will never forget how certain family members imposed themselves on our special time. Even 5 years on, it still upsets me. Second and third time around, things were very different!

    You have visitors when you feel comfortable. If you aren't comfortable bf babe infront of others, ask them to leave the room while you feed, or go off to your bedroom and have snuggly feed in peace with your baby. This time is about you, and your own little family.

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    DarcyJ  (08-05-2013)

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    I only ever had one friend that said "Let me know when it is a good time for us to come over"...and I sooo appreciated that.

    One time after coming straight home, DH let the next door neighbour's child and a random friend in. I told him, no - time for them to go. It was so inappropriate.

    A good way to let people know is through your generic text message that often people send out as soon as bubs is born. Ie. "birth details", "baby details", mum and bub well, No visitors just yet please as we are still getting settled and resting. We would appreciate a text to arrange a time before visiting. Looking forward to introducing "baby", Love "you".

    We always ask the person what they would prefer, ie. wait til they get home, or until 3rd day or so. Drop-ins who bring numerous, unsupervised, bored children would have to be the worst ones that I've had.

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    DarcyJ  (08-05-2013)

  12. #7
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    I was in hospital for 6 days after a Caesar and my hospital only had 2 hours in the afternoon for visiting, and that was more than enough.

    Sent from my GT-I9100 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    DarcyJ  (08-05-2013)

  14. #8
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    I loved having visitors. It just didn't really bother me if they came or not. My DH was home and doing all the entertaining, they usually bought food, all I had to do was sit there smile and eat the food.
    Second time round I had an emergency c/s & a double blood transfusion, it was a much longer recovery than the first natural vb.

    Each to their own though, feeding in front of others didn't bother me either. Just do whatever your comfortable with.

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    DarcyJ  (08-05-2013)

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    Thanks everyone I think I will definitely have to have some ground rules because some of the in-laws can be a bit intrusive at the best of times and DF's family is quite big so I won't want all of them here, plus kids, all at the same time.

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    if there is a next time, I will be sending out an text saying bub has arrived and we will let you know when we are up for visitors. Then I'd allow family and really close friends over when it suited me depending on what was happening.

    I also preferred the hospital visits but that is not for everyone. I just found my bub was sleeping the most then and in hospital everything is done for you. Plus it is a small window of time that they are allowed to come!

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    DarcyJ  (08-05-2013)


 

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