Just feel I need to get my story off my chest. This is (was) my second pregnancy - both via IVF. I have a little boy who was 11mths when we conceived again. The pregnancy was text book and I was showing quite a lot and we had just announced to all our family and friends.
A week ago I thought I was getting flu and saw my obstetrician who also thought I had early stages of flu. Baby was fine. 12 hours later I was in huge pain so went to delivery suits where they admitted me while trying to figure out what was going on. It turns out I had a staph infection in my blood and was very very sick.
They started treatment of antibiotics but that afternoon my waters broke. The OB did an ultrasound and the babies heart was still beating but all the water around the baby was gone. The OB explained that the baby had virtually no chance of survival and that it was more than likely I would go into labour overnight and deliver the baby. If I didn't go into labour naturally they would ultimately have to administer drugs to bring on labour. At that point he was happy to wait however said that if my health deteriorated he would have to take matters out of our hands and start the induction.
The OB was great and explained how the labour would feel, that I would have to push the baby out and that the baby may move and try to breath, but that it would quickly die. The staff would wrap the baby and photograph it etc.
We lasted the night and in the morning I spoke to the OB as I didn't feel up to delivering the baby and wanted to understand our options. Surgical delivery was explained to us and we were encouraged to have a high res ultrasound. I am really glad we did this.
Firstly, the u/s showed our baby had died overnight and so we felt much better that we weren't having to choose to end the babies life. Secondly, our baby had been quite badly damaged by the lack of waters. The uterine walls had closed around the baby and as its skeleton was not yet solid it had become quite disformed. The head was very squashed and the spine was badly bent in a couple of places.
This reaffirmed our decision to opt for surgical delivery - I am really glad I didn't deliver the baby and have to see the misshapen little thing. I will remember it as the fat little healthy baby sucking its thumb from our NT scan.
Our baby was delivered surgically that evening. Initial tests show that the baby was perfectly healthy prior to me getting sick.
Now I am embarking on the physical recovery from the illness but also the emotional recovery from losing our baby.
At this point it is the little things that I find challenging: the box full of maternity clothes that i ordered online that just arrived, putting my hands on my swollen belly and not feeling anything anymore, our Christmas holiday plans that should have been as a family of 4 being readjusted back to organizing for 3....
Thanks for listening. Any advice or suggestions warmly welcomed.