I think you are feeling what every first time mum to be, feels and goes through.
It's so normal for your protective motherly instincs to kick in once bub arrives. I think that's what's happened in your case but just a bit earlier! which is totally normal and a good thing!
Just from a different perspective - my parents and my in laws both purchased porta cots. MIL brand new for her forst grandchild (she now has 8), my mum got 2 second hand ones and gave one to us! "both perfectly fine, used a few times" she said. I didnt even question it, to be honest. We live a fair way from both sets of grandparents, so we dont do day trips, we stay overnight and we NEED to have porta cots. I was very appreciative. I think as new grandparents they ar eagar to be of help whenere ever they can. They once were in your position too, remember! I know my mum likes to make her house comfy and our stay as easy as possible when we stay with her. She has clothes for our kids, nappies and all of that so we dont even need to pack for our kids when we stay with my parents. It's so much easier and my mum loves setting up their room for when we are staying.
As for the whooping cough, my parents went to their local doctor and had it done the week before i had the baby. I didnt ask them, they just did it.
Im not sure about MIL as she has 3 older grandkids so i just presumed she may already have it. ive never bought it up to be honest. I
I am very much the same as you about not expressing to bottle feed. However when i went thru mastitis i was in too much pain to feed, dh took over a couple night feeds so i could sleep and get better quicker. I had frozen ebm from the early days when i was engorged and needed relief. So lucky i had that stash of ebm and i am relieved to know ds will take to a bottle in an emergency. He will not take a bottle from me though. Why would he want to? haha!
All the best i think you're going to be a super mummy and maybe just relax and have a break from the MIL for a while.