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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Twoalready View Post
    I'm going to go against the general consensus here with the whooping cough and don't get me wrong i'am pro vax my kids have all the vax's etc however... When my daughter was born hubby and I had the jab before I was released from hospital. A few short weeks later my baby had whooping cough. We hadn't even left the house yet and she had it, it took me three doctors visits, filming my daughter coughing to death and you tube snippets to get any doctor to even test her. Which of course after all that it was confirmed.

    I will NEVER allow the whooping cough jab in hospital again.. Fair enough maybe after a few mths or after the initial immunisations where a bit of resistance has built but not within a day or so of her being fresh out of my womb.
    I just wanted to reassure you that your decision to immunize yourselves against whooping cough could not have caused your daughter to contract whooping cough. It is not a live vaccine and the vaccine does not contain whooping cough, so catching the disease from it is not possible.

    Recently doctors are starting in Australia to vaccinate during the third trimester of pregnancy, in accord with longstanding practice in the UK and US. I had this done yesterday, so have recently been researching this

    I am very glad to hear your little girl made it through what must have been a terrifying ordeal for all of you.

  2. #32
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    If they are going to be spending a lot of time around the baby, I'd push the vaccination issue and tell them they won't be able to be around bub if they haven't had it. My parents and siblings had it, but the in-laws haven't as far as I know. And it's hard for me because I'm not that close to them so I don't feel comfortable nagging them to get it. That should be DF's job. But also, I know the in-laws won't be seeing as much of the baby as my family so I don't know if it's worth arguing with them anyway...

    As for the port-a-cot, yes it might have been a bit presumptuous of her to buy it without asking you or without you checking it, but so what? What is going to happen? Just because she has it doesn't mean you have to use it. If you don't think it looks safe then don't use it. Why get all angry about it? And as others have said, if it does look ok, you will probably find it useful for when you are over at her place and bub needs a nap.

  3. #33
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    I wouldn't back down on the whooping cough shot.. If it's that important to you, as it was to me as well, insist they have it before seeing bub..

    Porta cots are so handy for so many things! They would be so super excited, and it'll come in so handy if bub needs a nap, or somewhere to lay and kick that is safe..

    Enjoy your bub!!

  4. #34
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    Hi there, okay, so let's put it down to pregnancy hormones. I actually think it is a lovely, lovely gesture for them to purchase the portacot. They must be so excited to become grandparents, and I think it is a show of support for you, your hubby and bub. Their son has waited all those years along with you to become a dad. Try and relax, this is just the beginning. They will probably buy many more items for the baby, and I am sure at least some of them will come in handy for you, your hubby and bub. All the best x

  5. #35
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    My parents have two port a cots at their house with change tables and spare clothes and several sheet sets. They have toys and playmats and high chairs. My In laws also have a port a cot and high chair at their house. I exclusively bf my bub for 9 months. Those port a cots have come in handy!!!!!

    i personally don't think you should be so hard on yourself... I don't think people should have such stringent "rules" for themselves and their babies before their even born!!!

    Just as an example my husband and I have done this on several occasions... We go to parents house... I bf baby and put to bed (in port a cot) we then went out for dinner leaving bub asleep at grandparents house , then went back and also slept at grandparents house the night.

    Grandparents are a fantastic resource... Not to be underestimated! I also struggled with infertility and had a really hard road to get pregnant. Don't let that change who you are or the kind of mother you want to be ... Or change the kind of mother you find out you are after bub is here.

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  7. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by weathjess View Post
    I am not really keen on having anyone look after the baby in the first 12 months - I plan to demand feed with breastfeeding and don't want to express in a bottle so others can feed. I have waited so long for this baby I see no reason for us to be separated. .....

    When I asked them a few months ago to get whooping cough injections they refused as they don't like needles......
    DITTO!! As a "mature" 1st time mum I also felt that after waiting so long for my baby I wanted to be with him all the time - to hold him close and not let him go! Also haven't expressed or had anyone else look after him. (I feel very lucky that I've been able to do this.)

    And re the whooping cough - I had whooping cough a few years ago. It was awful and I can't imagine a little baby going through it. Perhaps you can print the sad stories of the babies that have died of it recently and show it to your in-laws?
    Here's one: http://danamccaffery.com/
    (4-week old baby)
    and
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...didnt-jab.html
    (3 month old baby)

  8. #37
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    Would you react the same if it was your mother it the mil?

  9. #38
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    Thank you to everyone for their responses. It has certainly helped calm me down! When DH tells me it is hormones I want to rip his throat out!!! But coming from other women it makes me feel calmer!
    You are all right. I love both of my grandmothers, and I don't want to deprive my child of that wonderful relationship. I am pleased my baby has so much love around. I know that I am controlling and I am sure that this baby will be my lesson in 'letting go'.
    I guess I just want to feel respected, and just because she doesn't show it the way I do doesn't mean she doesn't respect me.
    We are chalk and cheese and that means that sometimes I misinterpret her meanings on things!
    Thank you for the very sound words of advice. I can even see that I could in the future consider feeding the baby, leaving it there to sleep while I have dinner with my husband and then returning........that way they feel included and I get some me time if needed........thank you for helping me to open my mind and my heart a little.

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  11. #39
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    In regards to whooping cough vaccine, I'd be telling them that if they haven't had it, they won't be allowed near the baby. That should be enough motivation for them.

  12. #40
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    Everyone has already said what I wanted to say and you have replied and taken it extremely well! I guess I just wanted to add that I was adamant about a lot of things too and well, it just doesn't always go to plan. I think you should definitely plan and have ideas of how you want things to go, but if it doesn't work out, it's no big deal. I put myself down for so long for not being the extended breastfeeder I 'knew' I would be. I fed for 5 months with a multitude of issues, and when I stopped I felt so guilty. However DS was happy and content and just loved his bottles. I realise now I was way too hard on myself. I will breastfeed next time for sure, and I still hope I can make it to 12 months plus. But if not, I'm not going to feel like such a failure. Anyway that's just my experience. As long as baby is happy and healthy and loved, everything will turn out just fine. Good luck


 

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