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  1. #21
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    I understand as my MIL's went a bit nutty while I was pregnant...both MIL and Step MIL both started competing over what time they would get with "their new baby" - at about 30 weeks, I lost my **** too lol

    Sit down with DH and discuss what you both want...and then make DH call and speak with his mother and tell her to back off.

    MIL has never babysat, and DD is now 2 1/2. Infact, she has only ever been left with a babysitter once and that was my mum.

    See the porta cot as something for you to use when you go over there for lunch...don't feel any pressure to leave bub when you are not happy.

    MIL is still a pita...when ever she comes over she does all she can to get DD away from me....when she was tiny she continually picked her up and walked out of the room....every.single.time...drove me nuts and I will be honest and say I stopped inviting her over. Even now, MIL tries to tell me about my DD...she sees her every few months for an hour or so but tries to tell me things as if I don't know her. I now just ignore, smile and nob and then vent to my girlfriend who understands.

    As long as you and DH and united...just ignore what she says she is going to do!

  2. #22
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    I think you're over reacting a little bit about the portacot. Like others have said, it can be a blessing to have them at other peoples houses when you're out and about with bubs. My parents have a full set up at their house, cot/playmats, spare clothes etc and even though DD never spent a lot of time there alone as a baby it was so good having it all there when we went to visit, I didn't have to lug all our stuff over there!

    The whooping cough vac though, I wouldn't back down on that one. There have been too many cases recently. We've asked all our family members who will come into contact with this baby in the first few months to get theirs done and everyone has agreed.

  3. #23
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    I think you are over reacting and I think you are also putting too many expectations upon yourself. With my first I was going to breast feed on demand (I'm a qualified lactation consultant so I was adamant I was going to feed her), I wasn't going to leave her with anyone etc etc. well my beautiful bundle of joy arrived and we had no end of problems with feeding and other health issues that we almost lost her- we had to revive her at home one night. My years of planning how I was going to raise my baby was shattered- she was tube fed, on a prescription formula and I was devastated. I ended up with PND and I believe the biggest reason was I had planned out how everything was going to be and in reality my beautiful baby and first year was nothing like that. I'm not saying you will have any problems but I think you need to step back and just relax- your MIL owning a portacot isn't the end of the world- nor is second hand stuff, enjoy your pregnancy and your first few weeks without all the pressure and expectations. I now have 3 children under 3- I haven't had more than 2 hours sleep a night for the last 6 months- if someone offered to take my beautiful babies overnight I would kiss their feet I'd be so grateful

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  5. #24
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    Firstly how your feeling is normal.

    Now in saying that you will find having a portacot (that you checked out) helpful when You and bub go to their house. I find it helps to have stuff at our parents when we visit them. I don't leave my babies under 2years.

    As for the vaccines you can only ask and remind them they can't hold the bub unless they have been done. If you feel that strongly about it.

    Sent from my GT-I9100T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  6. #25
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    Sorry - I vote pregnancy hormones

    I agree with if you're serious about vaccinations then tell them nobody is holding baby until baby has had their vaccinations (if this is your plans?)

    With the portacot - I used to take our portacot in our boot pretty much everywhere, they are really useful if you're at someone else's house and baby needs a nap, or is mobile and you want to put them down for a bit without worrying about them getting into stuff.

    If your in laws had fully painted and set up a nursery completely with drawers full of newby clothes and owl decals on the walls - that would freak me out.

    Portacot isn't a big problem, and it certainly doesn't oblige you to let them baby sit, they probably are just excited.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  7. #26
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    oh, and I want to add.

    It is absolutely fine to have plans and ideals of how you want to raise your bub...it does not mean you are going to fall in a heap. Make sure you have a support system and all will be fine...try and find a good mothers group (i found my local ABA mothers group lovely) and shop around if the first one does not feel right. Be kind to yourself and get some rest when bubs does (especially when feeding on demand) and let the housework slide if you need to with no guilt. If you have not already...cook a few meals for the freezer over the next few months so that you have some easy nights while bubs is small.

    Establishing bf can be hard and for many of us, it is hard on our nipples lol Have some lansinoh on hand..I found cloth breast pads much nicer than disposable too...softer. Drink loads of water and maybe even look at the lactation cookies (they are yummy lol) and have the ingredients on hand.

    Mostly, enjoy your bub and I hope things go the way you have dreamed

  8. #27
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    I was the same with my MIL. Honestly, I used to hate her getting anything for my kids, she wouldn't ask my permission, what makes her think that she can do/buy that??

    Talking from experience, try and let it go. She is probably just as excited to have grandchildren as u are to be a mum.
    You don't have to let the baby stay there, gees I still don't like my kids sleeping at my Mils house coz she doesn't feed them well! But on the flipside, it means when you visit with the baby, you can use the portacot when bub goes for a nap.

    My relationship is very strained with my mil and it's things like this that I wish I didn't bother to get upset over.

    Just make sure obviously that it's cleaned well etc.

    The whooping cough thing - don't give up on that. I'd say to them that they can't have any cuddles until they are immunized.

  9. #28
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    I think there is a overreaction about be portacot.. As others have mentioned she may be thinking you might want baby to have a sleep after the initial few months.

    I'm going to go against the general consensus here with the whooping cough and don't get me wrong i'am pro vax my kids have all the vax's etc however... When my daughter was born hubby and I had the jab before I was released from hospital. A few short weeks later my baby had whooping cough. We hadn't even left the house yet and she had it, it took me three doctors visits, filming my daughter coughing to death and you tube snippets to get any doctor to even test her. Which of course after all that it was confirmed.

    I will NEVER allow the whooping cough jab in hospital again.. Fair enough maybe after a few mths or after the initial immunisations where a bit of resistance has built but not within a day or so of her being fresh out of my womb.

    Just something to think about from the other side of the fence.. It was a horrific experience with a baby so young.




    ~Isla Rohmaine arriving sept 2013 and a baby makes 3!

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  11. #29
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    I can only wish my MIL had taken enough interest in DD to buy a portacot to have at her place. Instead, we had to.

    Take it as a sign she will be welcoming your baby into her family, and yes, may be overbearing with her love and affection, but I would much prefer this to your child being ignored.

    I do understand that you want to protect bub and it is yours, but I definitely think pregnancy hormones are leading to you overthinking this.

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  13. #30
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    I think you maybe over reacting just a little bit hey your pregnant and hormonal we all over react then just as others have suggested she might of got the cot as somewhere to lay the baby down when you are visiting which trust me will be a god send because you don't want to carry all the bulky stuff for a quick visit. As for the whooping cough vax maybe gently point out how much whooping cough is around these days and how if everyone had the needle then it would lessen the babies chance of contracting it, but at the end of the day whether to get it or not is their personal choice and the vaccine doesn't 100% protect anyway (ds1 got it and he had been immunised) but if contracted would only be a mild case. I fell out with my MIL because she was very controlling who wanted my children raised her way in hindsight I wish I had handled things better because I to lost it on her and she died 2 years ago without us making peace and not seeing my children for 5 years


 

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