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  1. #1
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    Default Mother in law......am I overreacting?

    Hi everyone,
    I am 30 weeks pregnant with my first baby. It has taken me 4 years to fall pregnant due to PCOS - so I am really, really excited.
    I am also very set in my ways - I have my ideas of how I want to do things and how I plan to raise my baby.
    I am feeling really pressured at the moment because I am also having the first grandchild on both sides!
    I am not really keen on having anyone look after the baby in the first 12 months - I plan to demand feed with breastfeeding and don't want to express in a bottle so others can feed. I have waited so long for this baby I see no reason for us to be separated.
    I feel that my husbands parents (mine live interstate) are encroaching and are ready to pounce to take the baby away. I lost it last night when I discovered that my mother in law had bought a port a cot second hand......for HER HOUSE!!! Firstly, I am open to second hand things, but I don't want my baby going into something that I haven't inspected, and 2. it is a bit presumptuous that she would need a port a cot, because even if someone did come and mind the baby for a couple of hours - wouldn't they come to my house where I am all set up?
    Am I being paranoid and overly hormonal? I know alot of people see grandparents as god sent, but at the moment I just see no reason why my baby and I need to be separated?
    When I asked them a few months ago to get whooping cough injections they refused as they don't like needles......that also sent me over the edge.
    I feel that there is no respect for me as the mother in this.......am I being a bit harsh???
    Sorry for my rant......just feeling really anxious about this!!!

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  3. #2
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    I wouldn't let them near the kid without the Whooping Cough shots! I asked my family to get them and even my 21 year old brother agreed immediately.

    I'm only 19 weeks and my inlaws are fairly respectful of my wishes but I definitely get the 'I want to be able to do things my way!' thing. They've had their kids, it's our turn!!

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    I think you may be overthinking it all a little, and stressing needlessly.

    You are the parent, and if you don't want them babysitting when your baby is little then that is the way it will be.

    As for your MIL buying a porta cot - it may actually come in handy some day if your LO wants to have a sleep when you go over and visit? 2nd hand doesn't necessarily mean it's in bad condition either.

    As for the whooping cough vaccination thing, I do think as grandparents that they should be responsible and do it for the sake of your baby. Who likes needles? No one! But we get them for a reason. Maybe refer them to some literature which supports your request for grandparents to have the WC vaccine?

    All the grandparents-to-be are just excited about the new baby - can't blame them for that

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    Vaccine aside, I think you are overreacting.
    They have bought something to make things easier when bub is at their house (that doesn't mean just being babysat either). They actually want to be apart of bub's life.

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    Maybe a little bit. You could be looking into the portacot issue a little too much. Both my parents and the inlaws have a portacot at their houses. It is handy when we visit and saves us having to cart ours around everywhere.

    I think that you are justified with the needle issue tho.

    Hope you can get it sorted x

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    I think you are being a bit harsh. The fact that your MIL bought a port-a-cot doesn't mean she is going to come and swoop your baby away. Maybe she just saw it somewhere for a good price and thought she'd be prepared in case you did want (or for some reason had) to leave the baby with her for a short period of time...

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    I think you are overreacting regarding the portacot. It could come in really handy to have it there if you are visiting and bubs falls asleep. Both my dad and ILs have one at their houses for us to use. Its much easier than carting our own around. I would be annoyed about the whooping cough needle. Maybe get your husband to pass them brochures about the benefits of having the needle and explain you may limit their contact to bub if they don't have it.

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    You're hormonal and over reacting I think. Smile and nod, you never know after a few months you could be ready for a hand over and a break. The port a cot at my parents has been fabulous

    Whooping cough however, I would not be backing down from.

    Pick your battles OP, port cot not worth worrying about, whooping cough yes stand your ground.

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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    Vaccine aside, I think you are overreacting.
    They have bought something to make things easier when bub is at their house (that doesn't mean just being babysat either). They actually want to be apart of bub's life.
    Good point, port a cots are great for when you are just visiting. It's nice that they are thinking of these things. They're excited too!

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    I lost it last night when I discovered that my mother in law had bought a port a cot second hand......for HER HOUSE!!! Firstly, I am open to second hand things, but I don't want my baby going into something that I haven't inspected, and 2. it is a bit presumptuous that she would need a port a cot, because even if someone did come and mind the baby for a couple of hours - wouldn't they come to my house where I am all set up?
    Am I being paranoid and overly hormonal?
    You might find it quite useful that portacot
    Mine are older now but having to pack the car to go to lunch at my inlaws as if we were going away for a week instead of 3 hrs was so time consuming. Loading and unloading the car with a portacot, pram, bumbo, playmat etc etc took as long as the actual visit lol

    So if your MIL has a few baby things for your bub to use when you visit can only be helpful I think
    My mum bought a cot, highchair, change table etc for use at her house and it made visiting soooo much easier all round I think


 

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