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  1. #21
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    I was very lucky that I have had no bleeding at all. I have however have been very very sick with morning sickness and have been hospitalised 3 times which always made me scared that the babies weren't getting enough sustenance but they were fine it was just me that felt like ****!! The stitch sounds like a good idea and will help ease your mind. It's great to hear that you wouldn't be at the same risk of anything bad happening again. As daunted as we are about having twins we are absolutely thrilled that we are and would not change our decision to put 2 back even if we could. Xxx

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    Rachael3  (08-05-2013)

  3. #22
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    Rutabaga is offline Getting it together, one day at a time.
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    It always surprises me when a fs just keeps going on and on without calling for a break and doing testing to decide the next step. I'm also a bit confused that your fs said it had to be chromosomal? We were given several reasons as to why development might stall in the early stages.

    Please push your fs to do additional testing on yourself and dp. We thought our only hurdle to overcome was dp's vasectomy, I'd had a miscarriage at 12/13 weeks when I was younger and we all took it as proof everything was fine. We had 3 tf with no success when my fs became suspicious and ordered tests. 6 months later I was being treated for nk cells and MTHFR and fell pregnant . I really believe I'd still be cycling and heartbroken if my fs hadn't been so cautious.

    for you .

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rachael3 View Post
    Thanks for your advice ladies.

    The wait in between cycles is our biggest killer.

    Tessagirl, it's not easy my life is not how it use to be. Had to eliminate things around me to get through the days and weeks. Not sure how old you are but I am turning 35 soon and have been on this roller coaster for nearly 4 years. I have friends onto their 2nd child and it kills me each time. I cant hear anymore announcements without having our own child. The only way I could relax and be at peace is to have a baby. If I was younger maybe a break would help but unfortunately it's not an option. I just want answers.
    Rachael, I really feel for you having read your posts... the thing that screamed at me, was that you need a break! I know I know I know the pressure of the clock and the timing, but OMG what I would give to be 35 again, and having SO MUCH MORE TIME to work this out.... I am nearly 40 and on the same ride as you.. I know you're desperate, but you sound distraught and who wouldn't be after such a huge loss.... Its none of my business, but it sounds like you need a break, to grieve, recoup, get happy again, investigate some other things ie NK cells or whatever, maybe just live some life with your DH, get into a positive mind set... I have had many losses in the past too, and sometimes there was just no pushing past them til you take some time to acknowledge them.... You still have time. Be kind to you. You know you can get pregnant. Perhaps just a little break will make all the difference. Sorry if its out of line, just really feel for you, and would give anything to be 35 .. forget everyone else, ignore whats happening to them, you and DH being happy is all that matters..

  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by katherinelouise View Post
    It always surprises me when a fs just keeps going on and on without calling for a break and doing testing to decide the next step. I'm also a bit confused that your fs said it had to be chromosomal? We were given several reasons as to why development might stall in the early stages.

    Please push your fs to do additional testing on yourself and dp. We thought our only hurdle to overcome was dp's vasectomy, I'd had a miscarriage at 12/13 weeks when I was younger and we all took it as proof everything was fine. We had 3 tf with no success when my fs became suspicious and ordered tests. 6 months later I was being treated for nk cells and MTHFR and fell pregnant . I really believe I'd still be cycling and heartbroken if my fs hadn't been so cautious.

    for you .
    I think our situation is difficult for him and for us to discuss with him as I did fall pregnant after the 2nd cycle with him as my new FS and clinic (the other cycles were with a different FS and clinic). Whether this was due to his methods, the clinic or because we transferred two we will never know. So after I lost the twins it only made sense to do the same again but with one embryo transfer. The first stim failed and now the FET failed. I know my FS doesn't believe in NK cells because he has worked with scientists on the theory, but I hear a lot about it on these forums and with some good success. We need answers, whether it's more testing or him agreeing to transfer two (which I doubt), something needs to change. As Einstein once said the definition of INSANITY is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result. You mentioned that 6 months later you were treated for NK cells, was there a reason why it took so long and you weren't treated straight away?
    Last edited by Rachael3; 08-05-2013 at 15:00.

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    Rachel I hope you get the answers soon and that long awaited BFP...

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    Rachael3  (08-05-2013)

  8. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by IBelieve View Post
    Rachael, I really feel for you having read your posts... the thing that screamed at me, was that you need a break! I know I know I know the pressure of the clock and the timing, but OMG what I would give to be 35 again, and having SO MUCH MORE TIME to work this out.... I am nearly 40 and on the same ride as you.. I know you're desperate, but you sound distraught and who wouldn't be after such a huge loss.... Its none of my business, but it sounds like you need a break, to grieve, recoup, get happy again, investigate some other things ie NK cells or whatever, maybe just live some life with your DH, get into a positive mind set... I have had many losses in the past too, and sometimes there was just no pushing past them til you take some time to acknowledge them.... You still have time. Be kind to you. You know you can get pregnant. Perhaps just a little break will make all the difference. Sorry if its out of line, just really feel for you, and would give anything to be 35 .. forget everyone else, ignore whats happening to them, you and DH being happy is all that matters..
    Ibelieve, thanks for your support. I started this journey at 31, now to be nearly 35 with losses and still without a child is the hardest thing. It's hard to consider taking a break as we know how happy and how much life it will bring back into our lives. We have everything we want, everything we worked hard for but there is one big piece missing in our lives. As we are about to transfer I start to feel good again but at every BFN it gets harder and harder. I just want some answers now. I know that transferring one embryo doesn't work with us unless he does more testing otherwise we will request two again. I am booking in to meet with a NK cells specialist whether our FS likes it or not. I have a follow up appointment with our FS next week. Hope you have success in your quest to become mothers someday.
    Last edited by Rachael3; 08-05-2013 at 10:55.

  9. #27
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    Good luck rachael. I hope you get the answers you have been wanting. This is such a tough journey. Keep us in the loop. I would love to know what the nk FS has to say.

  10. #28
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    Oh Rachael how terrible for you. Is there any chance of moving to a different FS? Are you in a big city where that is possible?

  11. #29
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    Hey Rachael - I remember you from when you were expecting the twins and have often though about you as I remember when you told us about losing them.

    Good to see you are up to trying again, I really hope you get your dream this time. I was going to suggest a new FS too until I read you are already with one. I think if you are happy to take the chance of having both implant then go with the two. Just make sure you are in the right headspace within yourself to be trying again.

    Hope that I get to read that all went well for you soon.

  12. #30
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    Hi Rachael, I am sorry you are still looking for answers to the horrible pain of infertility and loss.
    I am glad you are seeking some NK cell testing as it will you piece of mind about whether you are doing everything possible.

    Re: the theory of transferring two helping with implantation I didn't believe it until it worked for me.
    I had 3 transfers with high quality blasts 1 x each time - all bfn.
    On the 4th transfer I put in the last 2 frozen blasts and it worked. I did have a slightly different protocol including an Endo biopsy and aspirin but I do think 1 emby helped the other. I feel fortunate that I have a singleton pregnancy as I didn't want any associated risks of twins but to be honest I was desperate so I took that risk anyway.
    I don't know how I feel about the idea that the embies that dont implant have chromosome issues- this would mean in my case 14/15 embryos were faulty!

    My FS described it as a bit of a lottery - the right embryo has to implant into the right uterine environment + some magic.
    If this is the case if your gut instinct and heart can handle a double transfer again then perhaps its something to consider.


 

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